Well, who expected that? An All-Stars 9 episode where the contrived drama of the ruby slippers built to a true moment of pathos? An All-Stars 9 episode where the judges offer harsh critiques that cause a girl to open up about a personal insecurity? An All-Stars 9 episode that made me care about All-Stars 9? I, for one, am shocked and more than a little excited. If the season continues along this line, they’ll have shut me and my worried ass up for good. If they don’t, then at least we got one good episode of it.
The episode begins with a torrent of passive aggression. Angeria is pissed about being blocked this week — her second time, when multiple girls have not even been blocked once — and she’s specifically pissed at Roxxxy. It’s interesting to watch Roxxxy navigate this. She clearly thought previously about what she’d do, and it looks like she came to the conclusion that she should block Angeria, who’d previously blocked her, not out of revenge but because it was clearly defensible. She runs through her other options, explaining that none of them could reasonably be blocked because they’d helped her or Vanjie (Mik and Nina), they’d killed the challenge (Jorgeous and Plastique), or they were badgeless (Shannel). It’s an airtight case, and one clearly being made by someone who’s previously found themselves on the fans’ bad side. That defensiveness — of not wanting to be seen as a bad person by the queens or, crucially, by the audience — powers Roxxxy all episode.
We also get a very confused Shannel, which I loved. Shannel is always great, but a confused Shannel is even better.
The Teletubbies come in, do a Soul Train dance line, leave. I wasn’t really allowed to watch TV as a kid, so I have little connection with these creatures. I find them mostly frightening. Still, this was fun and cute enough. Gottmik wins!
This week is a classic commercial challenge, with the queens playing real-estate agents selling houses in various locations of their choosing. They’re paired up by Angeria, and, despite her still being pissed, she plays fair.
The groups are:
Nina and Shannel (Salem, Massachusetts), a duo destined to make a polished but unexciting ad.
Plastique and Roxxxy (Tumbleweed, Texas), two historically rocky performers in comedy challenges, but both whom have at least one solid comedic performance under their belts, mostly due to sheer commitment.
Jorgeous and Gottmik (Arctic Circle), this week’s team twink. Both queens are naturally funny (Gottmik moreso) but unexceptional planners.
Vanjie and Angie (Florida Everglades), two high-charisma queens with limited range.
One of the issues that went under-discussed with All-Winners was that the “no criticism†thing extended to the filming segments. The queens on that season were never shown receiving notes, and thus the filming segments were not interesting. This season is doing a little better on that front. Gottmik and Jorgeous are such a mess during filming that they warrant criticism, and thank God! It’s nice to see what the girls’ issues are, and where they need to grow if they’re going to excel in the competition.
See Plastique, for example. The most effortlessly beautiful queen of the season walks into this challenge with a chip on her shoulder: Her inaptitude with comedy challenges (she was criticized for falling back into the same stereotypically Vietnamese character) is what sent her home on season 11. Now, she’s here to prove that she can do it. The fact that she does do well is highlighted by the fact that Jorgeous would like to prove that very same point and, this week, she doesn’t. Allowing the queens to fail makes the successes seem larger.
The biggest drama before the runway this week surrounds the hillbilly girls. Both Roxxxy and Plastique’s group and Vanjie and Angie’s group choose to do hillbilly characters to go with their locations. Roxxxy, who is from Florida, rightly notes that Floridian redneck is not the stereotypical hick that Vanjie and Angie went with, but then doesn’t stand on business when Vanjie overhears. Watching Roxxxy attempt to navigate this episode is interesting — she’s a ball of nerves and it makes sense. During her season five outing on Drag Race, she was talented but mean. On All-Stars 2, she was nice to be around but a famous flop. Now, she’s trying very, very hard to be both kind and talented, but that’s a difficult game and not always possible (especially if you still wanna talk shit behind someone’s back).
On the runway this week, the category is day-to-night reveal, and Nina’s is, I’m sorry, really bad. We’ve been there, done that with the campy nun costumes, and she could at least extend the hem length to cover her hideous furry blue shoes while she’s a nun. The second costume is legitimately hideous, and the shoes are still there. The third is fine. Michelle calls out her shoes, but the rest goes somehow uncommented on. I like how directly Shannel took on the challenge: That legitimately looks like a magazine did a day-and-night story. The briefcase doesn’t make much sense with the second look, however. Plastique, unsurprisingly, looks beautiful, but “I’m wearing a cape†to “I’ve discarded the cape†is the least exciting reveal possible. I think she could have done something better in terms of the literal reveal portion. Roxxxy eats the runway this week. Not only is her day-to-night look via a reversible cape (so smart), but it’s literally themed “day to night.†Just great. Mik, per the uzh at this point, has my favorite look of the week in a look that is made up of a men’s business suit front and lingerie in the back. What’s remarkable is how sexy both sides are — the cut of the suit is just fantastic and she models it like a real fucking model. So hot. Jorgeous’s first outfit is hideous and tiered, but the reveal is nice. Angeria looks great. The patterns all go together well, and I like that she’s showing off a non-pageant side. Notably, both looks are individually great, and there’s nothing left on the catwalk after. Vanjie does a Pretty Woman tribute that mostly includes taking off a coat. Not impressed!
Nina and Shannel’s commercial is up first and, as expected, it is very polished. A note that could apply to all of these commercials except the winner: The two characters are almost indistinguishable, and neither is particularly interesting. You get Salem Witch and can’t come up with anything other than “positive with a secret dark side� Failure of imagination. Roxxxy and Plastique, on the other hand, put together the perfect Drag Race commercial. It’s funny enough, but the real coup is that they both push themselves into completely unselfconscious characters. Both the dolls go from Barbie to Cabbage Patch Kid, essentially.
A confession: I laughed through most of Jorgeous and Gottmik’s commercial. It doesn’t really do what Drag Race commercials are expected to do (have a clear directive, be polished, have lots of set-up-and-punch-line gags), but I was sold the moment I saw Mik with the American flag. Just a spot-on real estate mogul parody. At the same time, Jorgeous flopping her way through, not seeming to know what she was saying? Also funny! The loudest I laughed this whole challenge was at her falling down.
The judges end up going after Jorgeous and Mik with the hardest critiques of the season, resulting in Jorgeous breaking down onstage. Don’t cry, little Jorgeous! I certainly enjoyed it more than Shannel and Nina’s, and probably more than Vanjie and Angie’s, a cliché-fest that gets solid reviews from the judges for execution. The problem is that they do the same schtick as Roxxxy and Plastique, but their jokes aren’t as good. and Vanjie still can’t do any character other than Vanjie.
Ultimately, Roxxxy and Plastique win the challenge, rightly, and lip-synch to “Super Freaky Girl.†Roxxxy definitely does not know the majority of the lyrics, but she is fun onstage and seems to know what song she’s lip-synching to, something Plastique still cannot accomplish. She needs to apply the commitment from the challenge to her lip-synching, then she’ll finally win some money. So Roxxxy wins the lip-synch and sends the whole episode into the stratosphere. Seemingly affected by the minor drama that’s been going on all episode, Roxxxy attempts to be completely neutral in her choice by turning around and picking randomly. Luckily for all of us, she lands on Angeria, giving me the hardest laugh of the episode. The second hardest was when Ru started heckling her. Truly great stuff.
Roxxxy breaks down and ends up giving the snippers to Gottmik, seemingly at random. What a great moment to cap off a stellar episode. Keep it up!
Also on Untucked …
• Did we really need to see Alec Mapa in Untucked? (The answer is no.)
• Roxxxy officially moves into front-runner status with this episode, congratulations to her. I’m still betting on Gottmik overall, but she’s got a real, real shot.