It only takes a brief browse through the AI-generated news summary of Yellowstone season five to gather that things have not been great behind the scenes of that show. A carefully collected, human-created version of the story might include such facts as: Kevin Costner and Taylor Sheridan had a total breakdown of their professional relationship over whether Costner would be given enough time off to go work on his western epic Horizon: An American Saga. Sheridan didn’t want Costner to have control over the scripts and seems annoyed that Costner essentially abandoned Yellowstone for his own project. Costner, meanwhile, implied that the scripts were not great, that Sheridan’s productions were not running on time (which meant Costner’s filming days were wasted), and that Sheridan was not being accommodating to Costner’s schedule.
All of which has culminated in the second half of Yellowstone season five. One could imagine Sheridan might be thrilled to be rid of his meddlesome lead. He might even work hard to reinvent the show so that it can carry on in Costner’s absence. Or he might write a run of episodes that are the storytelling equivalent of a giant tantrum. He won’t make the show anymore! He doesn’t care about any of this! But also, he hates Kevin Costner and he hates John Dutton and if he can’t have fun with his cool male-grievances show then nobody can have fun.
Who knows what’s actually happening inside Sheridan’s enormous ham-with-a-cowboy-hat-on head, but season five’s back half is highly suggestive of some deep inner personal truth bursting through the fictional substrate. And that deep inner truth appears to be a showrunner having a conniption fit.
1.
The Story
If your protagonist is exiting a show and you’re going to kill him off to make that exit happen, it certainly tracks that the fallout from his death would take up a significant focus of the story. And yet, Yellowstone seems abnormally and even obsessively caught up on the fact of John Dutton’s death. The first three episodes take place both before and after he dies, and the story keeps pinging back and forth between the events leading up to the death and the events occurring immediately after. And the death itself is, frankly, humiliating — a giant shrug of a plot device designed to rob John Dutton of any possible gravitas or agency by the end, executed with as little care as possible. He appears to have died by suicide, but actually, his death was ordered by his eldest failson’s girlfriend, who heard the failson say he wanted to kill his father one time, and then conveniently and efficiently ordered a hit man to take care of it without a single follow-up conversation. If it were just one part of an elaborate closing plot mechanic for this series, that might be one thing, but for three episodes, it’s the only thing that happens. Briefly, the show suggests that Chief Rainwater is going to make a big deal out of stopping a pipeline. That goes nowhere for the next three episodes.
2.
The Dialogue
This show has never been Shakespeare. Or Aaron Sorkin. Or even Young Sheldon. But the dialogue has hit new lows. While driving off Piper Perabo (a token bleeding-heart-liberal character who does have a name, but no one in the show knows it), Beth Dutton makes it clear that she’s glad Piper is leaving. “I hope you donated your body to science so doctors can study how big a bitch you are,†she tells Beth. “Well, I didn’t,†Beth says. Well? She didn’t! End of conversation. No retort or rewrite necessary. Piper’s not worth the time.
Yellowstone also loves a repeated word. If one character says “we never discussed it,†everyone will then use the word discuss for the next three lines. This is a show where lines like “You don’t have the authority to authorize this!†are standard fare. And, of course, it’s a show where when Beth Dutton orders a vodka soda, she will ask for a Tito’s, the bartender will hold up a bottle of Four Sixes vodka (owned, of course, by Taylor Sheridan), and then Beth will take a sip and appreciatively sigh, “Mmm. Wow. That is a fucking drink.†Why write a second draft when the first one is this polished?
3.
The Repeats
There are several ways to avoid writing new scenes with new dialogue and new plots and words that don’t repeat themselves, and one of the best options is to simply re-create the scenes you’ve already written. For instance, Kayce Dutton and his wife, Monica, have zero season-five, part-two development or agency until after John Dutton dies (and even then the only character development is Kayce seeking The Truth). But Sheridan’s gotta do something to keep them all occupied. So he gives them yet another new place to live, at least the third time that’s happened in this show, and has Monica talk yet again about how she wants to feel at home somewhere. Then he writes two separate scenes where Kayce and Monica are fixing up the house, they start making out, and their teenage son says, “Eww.†Then he writes a third scene where they’re once again fixing up the house, they have a cute little fight, and the son walks away in disgust. There is a version of this sequence three times in three episodes.
Then there’s John Dutton dying. Why have it happen just once when you can have him die, do a long flashback sequence, and then have him die again? Sure, there’s new footage, but nothing fundamentally changes. Especially if that gets you the opportunity to see plenty of shots of Kevin Costner’s corpse. Oh, you want to go make your own movie? Well, I want to see your body double laid out ignominously on a bathroom floor, and then I’m going to write several lines about how it’s not just you who’s died. It’s your legacy.
4.
The Montages
Another tried-and-true option for not writing plot or character is to insert long sequences of cowboys being cowboys. This predates season five, but it’s gotten particularly egregious this season. Part one featured extensive footage of the cowboys during calving season. Two minutes of loading cows onto trailers, with dust clouds billowing and people on horses staring into the middle distance. Two scenes of cowboys roping calves in order to vaccinate them. Extensive, loving footage of all the wives and partners setting up camp so the hungry cowboys can have dinner. No dialogue required! Or, when you simply can’t do anymore wordless montages, you can have a six-minute scene where Rip and the cowboy gang in Texas discover they’ve made camp on top of a rattlesnake den. They can have lines of dialogue like “Aah, a snake!†and “They’re everywhere!â€
5.
The Self-Insert
Nothing says “I definitely don’t care about this feud with Kevin Costner†quite like writing a whole scene where a Cool, Competent Cowboy minor character played by Taylor Sheridan himself gets to stare sadly at the most endearing, emotional young cowboy on the show and say, with gravity, “John Dutton passed away.â€
Even better, that scene doesn’t happen in the first episode of season five’s second half, the one where Costner dies for the first time. It doesn’t happen in the third episode, either, when he dies for a second time. It happens in the fourth episode! Four episodes in, and Taylor Sheridan needs to now appear onscreen to inform us directly, with his own mouth, that John Dutton is dead. He’s dead, and he, Taylor Sheridan, is still standing and wearing this hat. Suck on that, Kevin.
6.
Oh God, I Don’t Know, Just Kill Everyone Off
The trouble with creating any kind of story beyond “John Dutton passed away†is that it requires tracking what’s going on with other characters. And other characters? They just don’t have that Kevin Costner–y oomph. What’s happening in their heads? Who knows. Who cares! And yet, here they are in the show, needing stuff to do and things to say. Plus, some of them are women, and who even knows what’s going on with them. The easiest solution is to get rid of them, swiftly and decisively.
Sheridan does this with Piper Perabo right away by simply driving her to the airport and waving good-bye. She leaves without a fuss and no one misses her, because she never had much to do in the first place. But you can’t just keep driving people to the airport one by one, so Sheridan then resorts to the next obvious option: killing them off. First, Jamie Dutton’s girlfriend dies in a sudden shooting, neatly wrapping up that confusing ball of motivations and hit-man plot threads. Then, perfectly nice cowboy Colby dies because a mean horse kicked him in the head. Why? Who knows, except at least Sheridan doesn’t have to deal with that character anymore, and plus, he can now repeat all the dialogue from the scenes from when both John Dutton and Jamie’s girlfriend die and people have to call each other on the phone and be sad.
Yellowstone is coming in for a landing, and Taylor Sheridan does not have the patience for this bullshit any longer. There are too many people still in this cast, too many characters to deal with, and he’s not sure if you heard, but John Dutton passed away.
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