from bad to worse

Who’s the Grossest on The Boys This Week?

Let’s just go ahead and assume The Deep will continue to place high (low?) in these rankings. Photo: Jasper Savage/Prime Video

Every episode of The Boys, Prime Video’s ultraviolent, savagely satirical superhero series, offers an abundance of gross moments. Some involve violence. Others involve sex. And others still feature characters crossing moral, personal, and ethical boundaries. But even in a series in which no one’s hands are ever fully clean — literally or figuratively — some characters behave worse than others.

So for The Boys’ fourth season, we’ll be ranking everyone from least to most vile each week. This week, which sees the simultaneous premiere of the season’s first three episodes, brings not one, not two, but three heapings of awfulness as our heroes (?) first try to assassinate the soon-to-be-vice-president, Victoria Neuman; make some unexpected allies; meet some new enemies; and crash a bat mitzvah.

34.

Hugh Campbell Sr.

We haven’t seen Hughie’s dad for a while and neither, it would seem, has Hughie. At the very least, Hughie’s been ducking his pop’s phone calls / reviews of James Patterson novels, a habit he comes to regret when Hugh Sr. ends up in a coma after a stroke. Hughie’s dad has always seemed like a well-meaning innocent. Here’s hoping he recovers and works his way through airport thrillers for years to come.

33.

The Marvelous Miss Rachel

Poor Rachel. She just wanted to have a Marvelous Mrs. Maisel–themed bat mitzvah, not a Marvelous Mrs. Maisel–themed bloodbath. Alas, it was not to be.

32.

Monique Milk

Much like Hughie’s dad, Monique has felt like an innocent bystander who didn’t ask for all this madness to be part of her life. It’s only her relationship with Todd that shades that a little. Even without his Homelander fanboyishness, he’s, well, Todd.

31.

Mother’s Milk

Look at Marvin Milk, actively trying to change his life and responsibly make the world a better place! Now the team’s leader, he’s attempting to bring a more sensible approach to his anti-superhero strike force. He’s keeping Butcher at arm’s length (or trying to). He’s forming a strategic alliance with A-Train, sensing he can be turned. He’s even using his free time to combat his obsessive-compulsive disorder. The events of this season-opening triptych put a great strain on that, but Marvin doesn’t buckle. Stay the course, MM!

30.

Colin Hauser

Frenchie finally seems ready to move on from his hopes of a romantic relationship with The Female, which is good. Even better, he’s quite smitten with Colin, a friend from Narcotics Anonymous whom he helped land a job at Starlight House. And Colin seems like a solid dude, too. If only Frenchie hadn’t, you know, killed his family, a secret that might present some hiccups in their relationship down the road.

29.

Ghost Becca Butcher

She might only exist in his head, but Becca continues to bring out the best in Billy Butcher.

28.

Katrin Roderick

Dr. Roderick is one of several characters who could easily rise and fall in these rankings each week. She seems well meaning as she counsels The Female to confront her past. But is that all she has on her mind?

27.

Starlight

As season four opens, Starlight has become an icon for the anti-Vought community, who’ve taken to calling themselves the “Starlight Army.†She wants to step away from the spotlight and just be Annie January, but ultimately decides to go full hero. She would come away from these episodes morally unscathed if it weren’t for the revelation of Starlight’s bullying during her pageant days, behavior awful enough to inspire Firecracker to become a conspiracy-peddling, right-wing supervillain and, shudder, online personality. That was a long time ago, sure, but the bad behavior that drove Firecracker out of the pageant circuit is still dramatically off-brand from the hero she’s become.

26.

Hughie

As ever, Hughie’s trying his best to be a good person in a world filled with villainy. If that means (ineffectively) throwing acid in the face of a woman he once considered a friend, well, so be it. But let’s cut him a little slack: Hughie’s going through a lot right now with his dad’s illness and the unexpected reappearance of the mom who abandoned him. Even the solace offered by the music of Billy Joel has its limits.

25.

Will Ferrell

Appearing as himself, Ferrell doesn’t seem like a bad guy, just an actor who’s a little thirsty for Oscars. Okay, a lot thirsty for Oscars. While playing Coach Brink in a film that draws very loosely on A-Train’s life story, Ferrell worries about “giving off too much of a Blind Side vibe.†But dialogue like “Either outrun this life or you can run yourself into an early grave†suggests he’s probably not worried enough.

24.

Ryan Butcher

On the one hand, Ryan (or is it “Homeboyâ€?) is clearly in the midst of a crisis of conscience. Sure, he’s treated like a princeling by everyone at Vought, including members of The Seven, but that’s mostly because they live in mortal fear of Homelander. He’s clearly sympathetic to Butcher (a.k.a. “DontBACuntâ€) and harbors serious doubts about remaining with Homelander. On the other hand, he did kill a guy. Let’s call it a wash for now, though Ryan’s decisions will clearly have tremendous consequences this season.

23.

“Dakota Bob†Singer / Grace Mallory (tie)

If Vought and Homelander are going to be stopped by forces within the U.S. government, they’ll most likely be led by the president-elect and the CIA. But that’s a big “if,†and the possibility — let’s say likelihood — of Bob and Grace doing something that will rival Vought in vileness seems pretty high.

22.

Joe Kessler

Ditto Butcher’s old CIA running buddy, though something about him makes it seem like he might have an agenda all his own.

21.

Kimiko

Hughie resigned himself to a life of violence long ago, but he’s never loved it. Kimiko, a.k.a. The Female, doesn’t seem to seek out violence for pleasure, but when it comes her way, hey, she’s not going to walk away from it (unless she encounters a mysterious figure from her past). She ranks a little higher than she otherwise might this week mostly because that little baby hand she grows while regenerating makes for a truly disturbing visual (and whatever she looks like when she splats on the pavement is apparently too awful for even The Boys to show).

20.

Billy Butcher

Being diagnosed with an incurable illness he brought upon himself has clearly made Billy more reflective. He’s talking to ghosts, worrying about Ryan’s future, and desperate to stay in the game despite Mother’s Milk trying to put some distance between The Boys and their former leader. He’s a man who wants to do some good on his way out. But, he’s still as violent and crass as ever, giving Victoria a “no†in the form of a goatse-inspired photo and dropping lines like, “I washed me bollocks and all.†That’s our guy.

19.

Daphne Campbell

Almost the moment Hughie’s dad lands in the hospital, Hughie’s Billy Joel–loving mom shows up wielding medical power of attorney and claiming that she and Hugh Sr. have once again become pretty friendly of late. That’s a little suspect, right? Yet she also seems kind of sweet, her monologue lamenting leaving Hughie behind sounds sincere, and her choice of bedside reading material — a Brad Meltzer page-turner — suggests she might be Hugh Sr.’s soul mate after all. Just to be safe, we’ll place her somewhere in the middle this week, but let’s keep an eye on her, okay?

18.

Frenchie

Frenchie is in love, but it’s a tortured sort of love, the kind that makes him relapse and hallucinate on the job. His grossness is mostly confined to the violent situations in which he finds himself, but being sloppy on the job could get someone killed in his line of work.

17.

Ambrosius

Is Ambrosius just an eight-armed sweetheart who wants to spend more time under the sea with the love of her life, The Deep? It sure seems that way. But the mere fact she’s involved with The Deep is troubling (see below) and the mechanics of their lovemaking raises all sorts of unsettling questions.

16.

Todd

Should we cut Todd some slack for being a smooth-brained doofus who’s bought into Homelander’s fascist vision for a better America? And for, well, being dead? Maybe just a little. RIP Todd. Were you packing serious heat between your legs? We’ll never know.

15.

Guy Who Shows Up at Starlight House Looking for Kids in the Basement

Like Todd, this guy is just a misguided dumbass. Unlike Todd, he tries to put that dumbassdom into action. He’s more stooge than villain, but his appearance, and later scenes set at a convention full of dumbasses, confirms they, too, can be dangerous.

14.

Cameron Coleman

Spreading misinformation with snide assurance, this right-wing commentator is the series’ equivalent of Tucker Carlson (or perhaps a more relevant figure, given the course Carlson’s career has taken). In other words: gross.

13.

Cherie

The reappearance of Cherie means trouble — for Frenchie and everyone around him.

12.

Zoe

Like Ryan, Zoe’s just a kid, albeit a kid capable of shooting deadly Cthulhu tentacles out of her mouth. Unlike Ryan, she seems to enjoy killing. Let’s put a bullet next to Zoe’s name. She could be shooting up this chart soon.

11.

A-Train

A-Train will have to walk a long, long road to redemption (no superspeed allowed) before he can begin to undo the damage he’s done. But he takes some tentative steps in that direction this week by turning on The Seven and exposing the apparent martyrdom of Todd and two other Homelander superfans for the sham that it is. He did have a hand in their murder, but clearly feels really, really bad about it, along with all the other bad stuff he’s done over the years.

10.

Black Noir II

Those murders also disturb whomever is now attempting to play the part of Black Noir, but not enough for him to walk away from the role. His inability to slip into character, however, has little to do with any guilt he might feel about splitting open the heads of innocent (if stupid) fans of The Seven. He’s, frankly, just not a very good actor. “Is there, like, a playlist I can use to get inside his head?†he asks, but no playlist seems likely to help.

9.

Ashley

Ashley may not be the vilest character in these episodes — though her combination of cravenness and complicity remains inherently vile — but that doesn’t mean she can’t have two of the vilest lines. Which is grosser? “Stupid people who think they’re smart make me want to eat my own shit†or the phrase “Enough yeast infections to open a Panera.†Wait: Why choose?

8.

Sage

Where does new arrival Sage (or “Sister Sageâ€) belong on this list? She’s the smartest person in the world, but she also seems happy to use that smartness to further Homelander’s goals and doesn’t care who gets hurt in the process. (Once again, RIP Todd.) But she’s extremely smart, so maybe she has a hidden agenda that will actually ultimately undermine Vought. Maybe. Or maybe her real endgame is to eat a Bloomin’ Onion, watch trashy reality TV, and bone The Deep. (Once again, this alone makes her extremely sus.)

7.

Victoria

Now in a position to do some real damage from the Executive Branch, Victoria remains one of The Boys’ slipperiest villains, impossible to assassinate and almost as hard to outwit. Plus, she has a kid who can do some real damage to her enemies’ faces. She remains bad news.

6.

The Deep

The way The Deep tells Ashley she’s “just the girlboss I wanted to see!†is enough to earn him a single-digit berth on this list. Stack on top of that his mansplaining of the term butterface, his obsequiousness to Homelander, his general vibe, and the fact that he’s unfaithful to Ambrosius, and you’ve got enough to make him the most disgusting character on almost any show (though not this one).

5.

Firecracker

Another new arrival, Firecracker makes a strong showing right out of the gate thanks to building a cottage industry on the backs of easily manipulated bigots who will believe whatever conspiracy theories are thrown their way. What’s more, hatred of Starlight practically oozes out of her pores. She doesn’t truly believe that her archenemy is the head of a Hollywood pedophile cabal, but the slander serves her purposes, so she’s happy to spread it far and wide. Rookie of the year? Maybe. The season’s still young.

4.

Wrangler

We don’t actually meet the character responsible for the “migrant murders,†but that does not sound good at all.

3.

Dogknott

Similarly, we don’t get to see Dogknott in the flesh, but we learn that he ate a dog. Awful. No, wait. Hold up: He “ate out a dog.†Also awful, but in a different way.

2.

Homelander

Listing Homelander’s offenses would take up way too much space, so let’s focus on one element: The implication that his reign of terror and rage spasms are now motivated by the discovery of silver pubes (and his fear of aging in general, though the pubes are a big part of that). Okay, one more: The scene where he asks The Deep to “blow A-Train†just to demonstrate how much power he wields over them. And the scene where he gives Ryan a milkshake and then takes it back. Oh, and the discovery that he’s a big Smash Mouth fan. Homelander’s tough to top. And yet …

1.

Splinter

Coming in at No. 1, it’s Firecracker’s band of sycophantic, lovestruck clones who, in what’s undoubtedly the most disgusting scene of all three episodes … Nope. It’s just too awful to describe. RIP to a real one. Or to a bunch of real ones. It’s not clear.

Who’s the Grossest on The Boys This Week?