Long live all the magic we made and bring on the preten — Oh, sorry, I’ll put away the lighter I’ve been waving in the air since that Taylor Swift jam dropped into the end of The Buccaneers finale. It was a choice that made me both cheer and laugh out loud. What is this show and why do I eat up every single morsel it force-feeds me? I don’t know and I don’t care, I am having the best time. The first season’s final bow pulled off what so many shows aim to do: It gives us several delicious surprises while wrapping up seasonlong story lines just enough that it’s satisfying, while still setting up some interesting places for season two to go. There has to be a second season, right? The show is begging for it. I am begging for it.
You knew the nuptials of Nan St. George and the Duke of Tintagel were never going to go smoothly. Since the revelation of the telegram came to light on New Year’s Eve, things between the betrothed remain ice cold. The day before the wedding, Theo tells Nan that he doesn’t want to marry someone who doesn’t love him, and he certainly doesn’t want to stand up on the altar waiting for someone who isn’t going to show up — he asks her to make a real, honest decision by tomorrow morning and to let him know. He definitely should’ve told her about the telegram ages ago, but this doesn’t seem like that unreasonable of a request. He’s giving her an out and doing it fairly gently — especially in comparison to the conversation Nan has with Theo’s mom, who is like, you had your chance; you’re stuck with him now, bitch!! Okay, actually the soon-to-be dowager duchess very calmly explains that if Nan were to leave now, after everything, it would not only break Theo’s heart but ruin all Dukes of Tintagel now and forever and ever throughout history. She’s stern about it, but in a way that still makes me want to do menial tasks for her for little-to-no pay. That broad knows what’s up.
Nan has a lot on her mind and it only gets worse as the night goes on. You can see she’s thinking about calling this whole thing off. But the duchess isn’t the only person backing Nan into a corner. Just as she’s about to come clean to her mother about her feelings for Guy, Patty gives her daughter a moving thank-you speech about how Nan has helped her find a spark that’s been out for a long, long time — that Nan becoming a duchess gives her “the ability to have a new life.†Only by having a duchess for a daughter can Patty divorce her garbage husband and know she’ll be just fine. There’s no way Nan can back out of this wedding now, right?
And then Mr. Guy Thwarte comes knocking at her bedroom window. Now, Nan has to run off with him, right? First, because he lays yet another ridiculously swoony declaration of love, and, second, because I think he might actually be a Spider-Man? I’m sorry but how else did this person scale that unscalable wall and live to induce swooning another day? Have you ever heard of something called the multiverse? Okay, fine, Nan wanting to run off with Guy probably has more to do with the first thing. I mean, the man tells her that he’s “hopelessly, irretrievably, overpoweringly in love†with her. A hot guy (or hot Guy) using the word irretrievably alone would have me saying yes to whatever he proposes almost immediately. He’s called off his engagement with Jean (Justice for Jean!) and he aches for Nan. Sure, he wants Theo to be happy, but he wants Nan to be happy too. He thinks they should run away and see the world. He thinks their love is forever. Is anyone else sweating? Nan certainly is — throughout Guy’s entire speech, Nan is moving closer and closer to him until she finally says “yes†to everything and they end up in bed together, where I suspect she says “yes†several more times.
But before you start thinking there is absolutely no chance Nan marries Theo now, we should talk about Jinny. Nan has no idea how bad things have gotten. Earlier in the evening, when Nan and Jinny run into each other, you can see Jinny is losing her shit, but Nan is, rightfully, still so angry with her that she can’t see it. When Jinny tells her that she and Seadown will be moving to Scotland, Nan’s pretty much like … and?? But later, Jinny collapses in front of her husband. Seadown has Miles — who is maybe some sort of doctor, I hope?!— check her out and he’s the one who lets him in on the fact that he’s going to be a father. He cares less about the impending baby and more about the fact that Jinny has been keeping a secret from him. He interrogates her, eventually slapping her across the face before pulling her in for a hug, in case you’re wondering how much this abusive, manipulative relationship has escalated. Jinny is terrified for her baby.
She finally gathers up enough courage to do something about it — which is how she also ends up in Nan’s bedroom. Jinny, however, uses the door like a normie. Anyway, Guy has to hide, which means he hears everything as Jinny finally reveals what Seadown has been doing to her — her arms are covered in bruises — and asks for Nan’s help because it’s not just about protecting herself anymore. Obviously, Guy gets found out, which is quite confusing for Jinny, but she’s already processing a lot, so she mainly lets it slide. Plus, Guy immediately is like “what can I do,†which is so chivalrous I can hardly stand it. Well, the three of them decide to sneak out of the castle together. They all want to make a run for it anyway; now Guy and Nan can protect Jinny while they’re making their greatest dreams of a life full of love come true.
Oh, you thought everything would just work out for them? That’s so cute. Seadown, who also might have superpowers (but evil ones, of course), finds Jinny and Nan (Guy quickly hides) just as they make it outside. He believes the lie Nan feeds him, but the plan is off. Jinny is trapped once again. And things get much worse for Nan and Guy too: When they return to Nan’s room, the duchess is sitting there on her bed. They have been found out.
The Buccaneers plays coy with details as the morning of the wedding arrives. We see Nan find Theo in his art studio — he just finished a morning sesh of brooding on the cliffside, as one does — but we don’t hear their conversation. Seadown apologizes to Jinny for hitting her and gives her a surprise — he’s allowing her to be a bridesmaid in Nan’s wedding, isn’t that nice? The five women and Seadown head over to the church together where everyone else has gathered. You know something is up because the four who are not Jinny are giving one another some suspicious looks and also they are walking in slow motion. A plan is afoot!
When Seadown finally heads inside the church — don’t worry, he tells Jinny, he’ll be right inside those doors waiting — the friends burst into action. They are getting Jinny out of there. She’ll have until Lizzy, Mabel, and Conchita all walk down the aisle before Seadown realizes Jinny is missing. “We come first, always†they repeat as they huddle around one another. It’s a lovely reminder that this show is first and foremost supposed to be about the bond between these five friends. It’s also a reminder that The Buccaneers didn’t always deliver on that promise. There have been scenes sprinkled throughout the season that show us great examples of these girls supporting one another, confiding in each other, but not nearly enough — especially when all of those scenes, like this one, have been so emotionally affecting. When we get a season two (I’m manifesting), let’s hope the bond between the Buccaneers is given the showcase it really deserves. What I’m saying is: This scene, this moment, this scheme is gorgeous and I want more of it. Then, the carriage pulls up with Guy in it and Nan pushes her sister inside. Jinny is going with him, but Nan is not. She’s getting married to Theo. It’s the only way.
Inside the church, as the bridesmaids are slowly making their way up the aisle (no, really, they are moving at such a glacial pace I’m surprised no one got up to push them along), a stressed-out Patty pulls the duchess aside. She knows her daughter and she knows Nan is in love with someone else, and she wants to warn the duchess that she doesn’t think Nan will show up when it’s her turn to make her big entrance. But the duchess knows much more than Patty — she, clearly, helped Nan and Guy come up with this plan to save Jinny. She explains to Patty that Nan realizes she has more power and can offer more protection for her sister if she becomes the next Duchess of Tintagel. “One daughter’s sacrifice for the other daughter’s freedom,†she tells Patty. Patty can’t believe the duchess would do this to her son behind his back, but our girl has a response for that too: “As Nan will see, the institution always comes first.†Guy tells Nan that he loves her and that “deep, abiding love, it has to win†before promising to take care of Jinny, who is sobbing an apology to her sister FOR SEPARATING HER FROM THE LOVE OF HER LIFE, and the carriage takes off. Nan walks down the aisle to marry Theo; Seadown realizes Jinny is missing and runs after her to no avail; “Long Live (Taylor’s Version)†kicks in; and, baby, we have a finale on our hands.
Nan St. George is now the Duchess of Tintagel, married to a man she doesn’t love who happens to love her very much, and almost everyone in their orbit knows she’s lying to him about everything. Duchess Nan’s marriage is already poised to be one brimming with complications, but she has no idea just how complicated it’s about to get. Outside the church, Patty runs out to see if she can catch a glimpse of Jinny making her escape, but she runs into Tracy instead. Her husband looks distraught: “She’s here,†he tells his wife. “The mother. Nan’s mother.†Oh, of course she fucking is. It’s a perfectly deployed cliffhanger tossed in to close out the season. It is a soap opera sticking the landing.
The Society Pages
• Speaking of wanting more scenes of the titular Buccaneers supporting one another, the scene in which Mabel tearfully comes out to her sister is a stunner. Mabel is terrified to say it out loud, but the moment she does, Lizzy takes her in her arms and tells her she should love who she wants to love and that she’s beautiful just as she is. Lizzy can see her sister lost in the same shame that she was suffocated by thanks to Seadown and wants to save Mabel from ever feeling like that. Josie Totah and Aubri Ibrag are excellent here. See? More of this!
• Actually, the best part of the whole thing is that as soon as they get through the emotional bits, Lizzy just wants to know which maid Mabel’s been hooking up with all this time and they giggle about it all. More of this too!
• Mabel realizes she can’t go through with her marriage of convenience to Miles, and when she tells Honoria, they vow to figure out their own way to live their lives together. We’re rooting for you two!
• Conchita and Richard really go on a roller coaster in this finale: Richard finally stands up to his horrible mother and tells her that he and Conchita want nothing to do with them. That’s all fine and well, but Conchita gets a letter from her father saying he lost all of their money; they would have nothing. These two ding-dongs see it as a romantic way to begin their lives on their own terms, but come on, the girlie who dyes her poodle pink is going to be cool with no source of income? It doesn’t much matter anyway since not long after, Richard’s father tells him he’s dying and Richard needs to step up and take over the family. Well, that’s going to be awkward.