“Two Photographs†comes off as the most anti-Diana episode of season six so far, unfairly painting the adrift princess as the personification of scandal and poor judgment, while the queen continues tut-tutting her ex-daughter-in-law’s behavior from the confines of Balmoral Castle. What the queen doesn’t seem to understand, after decades on the job, is that photos of Diana are still big business.
The cold open features interviews with two distinctly different photographers. First, we have Mario Brenna, the real-life paparazzo who allegedly earned $5 million for the world rights to the first photos documenting Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed’s romance. Brenna chillingly talks about how paparazzi must “be like hunters, killers,†while he breaches a wall to capture two unnamed celebrities mid-fight.
Next, we have Brenna’s polar opposite: the sedate Scottish portrait photographer Duncan Muir (dude wears a tweed coat, ’nuff said), who has picked up a side hustle taking pics of the royal family. Muir appears to be a fictional character and serves as The Crown’s official acknowledgment of Queen Elizabeth’s death in 2022. He’s a guy who calls himself a “proud Elizabethan†and gets giddy when Her Majesty offers a kind hello during a public engagement. Muir spends most of his interview blathering about how the queen united the country and, quite accurately, how “we’ll all miss her terribly when she’s gone.â€
Following the credits, Buckingham Palace staff alert the senior royals to the latest problem surrounding the Princess of Wales, with Princess Anne translating for the queen, who apparently doesn’t speak subtle racist: Diana hanging out with the Fayed family is a bad look because the government is afraid Mohamed Al-Fayed will use his new friend as leverage for his long-denied British citizenship. (Mohamed, who died in September 2023, never became a British citizen.)
“Oh, that girl,â€Â sighs the queen.
Her Majesty isn’t wrong with that sentiment, just misguided. The way The Crown tells it, Diana is little more than a sitting duck. While she and Dodi are canoodling on the Jonikal, Mohamed is calling his security guy and demanding a “progress report,†even going so far as putting the maid on the phone to confirm whether Dodi and Diana are “intimate.†GROSS.
Even grosser? As soon as the maid assures her boss that Dodi and Diana share a room and a bed, Mohamed executes the next part of his plan: hiring the ruthless Brenna to capture photos of his son and the Princess of Wales in a torrid embrace. (There is no proof that Al-Fayed hired Brenna, but that’s what’s so good about The Crown — it’s easy to believe his character would.)
Oblivious to Mohamed’s machinations, and just before Brenna snaps his now-infamous photos, Diana and Dodi chat about the rest of her summer plans, but their lighthearted banter has so many morbid overtones that it’s hard not to be completely spooked by this scene. Diana talks about how she “doesn’t get the boys back until the 31st,†Dodi remains vague about his engagement to Kelly Fisher, and then they start flirting — and making out — while discussing land-mine survivors???
Upon Diana’s return to London, news spreads that, somehow, a paparazzo has gotten photos of her and Dodi together on Mohamed’s yacht. How strange, remarks Diana, because wasn’t their location supposed to be private? The queen’s private secretary, Robert Fellowes, warns Her Majesty that these photos were the subject of “the fiercest bidding war in Fleet Street history,†with the Sunday Mirror paying £250,000 for the rights. And because this was the pre-digital, pre-smartphone age, an extensive advertising campaign will lead up to the photos’ publication.
But Diana can’t worry about that right now because she’s about to see her sons for the last time. William and Harry head off to Balmoral with their father but not without William, still the audience’s stand-in, mentioning to his mother that Dodi is “weird.†Oh, listen to your son, Diana!
The Crown also gives Diana and Charles a nice final exchange here, with Charles commending Diana for the work she has been doing to raise awareness about land mines and the pair making a mutual promise to be “brilliant†at co-parenting. Maybe if Charles, Diana’s “friend [and partner] of her dreams†had said Dodi was weird, she might have listened. But that’s idealistic thinking, just like this whole interaction is in the first place.
While the royals are in Scotland, Diana heads to Bosnia to visit land-mine victims. These scenes are nice reminders of what we all knew back then: She really was in her element doing humanitarian work. Although Diana did go to Bosnia in August 1997, The Crown takes creative liberties here with its reenactment of the princess’s walk through a minefield. That famous event, with Diana covered in protective equipment, took place in Angola in January 1997.
Unfortunately for Diana, nobody cares that she risked her life in an actual minefield or that she’s championing a serious cause: At the time of her minefield walk, newspapers featuring an 11-page spread of her and Dodi frolicking in the Mediterranean arrive at Balmoral. The queen is disgusted. William is humiliated. Charles is oddly curious; Harry catches his pa sneaking a peek, LOL.
Mohamed, on the other hand, is delighted.
Diana attempts a press conference focusing on her humanitarian mission, but all the paps want to ask about is her relationship with Dodi. In many ways, this trip was an abject failure, and it might have caused Diana to slip back into her old self-harm habits: We see her biting into her finger so deeply it leaves a mark.
Never mind the effect of the photos on Diana’s mental health — the palace has gone into full damage-control mode. Charles’s private secretary wants to take advantage of the situation with a “counterphoto.†The intention is to emphasize that Diana’s Saint-Tropez lifestyle is synonymous with scandal while Charles’s Balmoral lifestyle is synonymous with dignity. It doesn’t take much to convince Charles because he knows the drill. William and Harry, however, have conditions: They’re not wearing a kilt or carrying a “sheep’s crook†like their pa.
“Trustworthy photographer†Muir, with his tweed jacket and dependable Volvo, is hired to take the famous family snaps of the Prince of Wales, Prince William, and Prince Harry at Balmoral in the summer of 1997. (In reality, Arthur Edwards served as photographer.) Although William and Harry initially aren’t keen on the photo shoot, they eventually warm up to Muir, who encourages them to have fun with each other.
The next round of papers arrives, and the photos are a massive success. Most important, the queen is pleased. The family needs all the good publicity it can get because, as Her Majesty shares with Prince Philip, Diana’s antics are getting worse. The latest piece of gossip is that Diana just flew 160 miles in the Harrods helicopter to visit her psychic friend in Derbyshire — so Dodi could get some direction. Even though I don’t at all like the way Diana is treated in this episode, I do have to agree with Philip’s pitch-perfect reaction here: “Spare me!â€
The bottom line is that so much of Diana’s life was a tragedy well before she met her catastrophic death. Maybe if the queen had provided compassion instead of judgment, Diana would still be alive today. But as The Crown has proved time and again, the queen will always choose duty over understanding, which is why her closing monologue, while predictable, remains so infuriating to hear. Over a montage of paparazzi swarming Diana and Dodi, the queen continues to put the blame squarely on Diana, admonishing her for not learning from her mistakes. It’s Diana who is “erratic,†“reckless,†and “out of control.†Not the relentless photographers, her spineless boyfriend, or her unscrupulous “friend†Mohamed Al-Fayed.
“All one wants is for that girl to find peace,†the queen remarks, as the final shot lands on a haunting re-creation of Diana wearing a turquoise bathing suit, sitting forlornly on the Jonikal’s diving board.
Do you, Lilibet? Did you ever truly feel that way?
Crown Jewels
• It’s hard to find levity in such heavy subject matter, but The Crown succeeds during the senior royals meeting where the “new royal website†is unveiled. Between the dial-up tone and Princess Anne explaining to the bewildered queen mother that “logging on†has “nothing to do with timber,†it’s rather chuckle-worthy.
• Diana’s Duran Duran T-shirt is such a nice touch.