At its best, Real Housewives shines when a bunch of egotistical women with narcissistic tendencies make a huge to-do about relatively inconsequential events, and this season of Dubai is delivering the frivolity on all counts. While petty antics are an essential part of the recipe, it is like vanilla extract in any baking recipe: It must be used with intention and care, or your dessert will taste sickeningly sweet. Such is the case with this episode, which seems intent on giving us the answer to the question: How quickly can a housewife run a minor conflict into the ground? The answer: 20 minutes into the following episode.
In the second episode of the season, we are given a proper introduction to Taleen, our newest housewife in this cohort. Taleen is from a successful family of Armenian Americans and has been married for a decade to a major Emirates-based land-developer; they have two kids, and her parents frequently visit, having business interests of their own in the area. I will save my full opinions for the lifting of the Eileen Davidson accords in three episodes, but for now, I am intrigued by how she marries her American sensibilities with a shamelessly consumerist lifestyle in the gulf.
At the outset of the season, the cast has already fallen into premature camps: There’s Taleen, Sara, and Caroline Brooks in one corner, followed by Lesa, Ayan, and Caroline Stanbury holding up the other. The reason for this division is exaggerated reactions to perceived slights. Sara is offended by Ayan lashing out at her “healing tactics” and prefers to render judgment over Ayan’s behavior from her self-appointed pedestal; Taleen is wounded by Brooks’s insistence that Stanbury was mocking her by joking that Sergio saw her lady parts at the Beyoncé show; Brooks has decided that Stanbury’s friendship has run its course, conveniently just as filming has started.
Of all the lingering tensions, the conflict between Sara and Ayan is the most straightforward to resolve. For much of the episode, Sara is resistant to the idea that her remarks about Ayan’s behavior could prove hurtful. She recycles all the self-empowering mumbo jumbo that she has acquired over the years to acquit her behavior — stressing that she felt ambushed, and she merely meant that Ayan is not a victim now. In reality, Sara cannot decide that for Ayan. If she hasn’t healed from her past wounds, then she can and does seem to continue to be victimized by that trauma. Witnessing Ayan process her trauma in real time is understandably volatile for Sara, but she needs to understand that she cannot will Ayan through her journey through sheer resolve.
To Ayan’s credit, she recognizes that her reaction outsized the offense and regrets the intensity with which she lashed out at her. She works with her husband to write a letter to Sara that will help her clearly apologize for her actions and explain the root of her emotions, which Sara graciously receives when they meet one-on-one to hash it out, giving Ayan a sentimental angel token of her own to show support. Neither of the women is particularly wrong; they are simply incapable of supporting each other with the coping mechanisms they have in their toolbox. I suspect they will remain fine as long as Sara doesn’t continue to offer to be Ayan’s spiritual guide and trusts her to find peace on her own.
Brooks, on the other hand, is overflowing with unresolved agitation and nowhere place her energy. Throughout the episode, it is heavily hinted that the stress of her new business has her at her wits’ end. At different points in the episode, she marches up and down her salon, pointing at random corners and muttering random phrases to no one in particular: “We need to get that fixed!” “Who’s on the schedule?” and “This is unacceptable!” She is a GirlBoss™ and Hell on Wheels who is Getting Things Done, one stiletto at a time. Her friends and castmates allude to the toll this is taking on her — she’s regularly working until 2 a.m., they mutter to each other. More forebodingly, they suggest that she has increased her alcohol consumption to cope with the stress of her new career.
Perhaps all of this does explain her antics to date this season — only time will tell, but what is certain is that she has seemed intoxicated 80 percent of the time that Brooks has been onscreen. It is not the “classy” intoxication where a brief glassy-eyed stare reveals that no one is upstairs, either. It is boisterous, disruptive, and at points, incoherent, where she seemingly slurs from one thought to the next. I am not here to litigate how one lets loose, but the show is quite fervently making the case that something is awry with Brooks, and the cast is unsure how to deal with it.
This tension bleeds into the most inane conflict to date on this franchise: Stanbury’s cheeky comments around Taleen’s antics at the Beyoncé concert. At the close of the last episode, Taleen and Stanbury seemed to have squashed any issues after Stanbury made it clear that she holds no lingering animosity with the newcomer after making a poorly received joke. Brooks, however, continues to hold her friend in contempt for making a perceived slight at Taleen, holding a more outsized reaction than the person who was supposedly offended. Apparently, Brooks is especially defensive because Taleen is married, but that excuse makes no sense, nor does she even try to pretend it does.
None of this matters to Stanbury whatsoever. She’s busy trying to move into her house with Sergio, a puppy with extreme separation anxiety in the shape of a husband. How can she focus on petty slights when they are still stuck shacking up in a friend’s guest room? Their day-to-day life looks like the early episodes of Hoarders, and that is far from acceptable for someone of Stanbury’s stock. Caroline is too busy housetraining Sergio before she goes on a college-tour trip with her ex and daughter to focus much energy on the newfound animus that Brooks has developed.
Taleen attempts to navigate this overblown crisis about her vagina diplomatically. While she is integrated through the group via Caroline Brooks, whom she has known for the better part of the decade, Taleen recognizes the early pitfalls of premature alliances in housewives scheming and opts to invite everyone to her house party. This decision inexplicably incenses Brooks, who believes that Stanbury’s misstep is tantamount to a high-court offense. Throughout the night, as more and more drinks flow through her system, she makes bold jabs at her supposed friend, lashing out so badly that Sara takes both Carolines out to the balcony to attempt to resolve their issue.
Here, we get a peek at the true dynamic between Brooks, Stanbury, and Sara: Both Carolines have been apparently incessantly complaining about the other, leaving Sara stuck in the middle to entertain all of their frustrations. Naturally, this has put a strain on Sara’s eternal “healing journey,” and she attempts to force them to talk it out as opposed to taking on any more of their issues. It’s a lost cause, however; Brooks is already three sheets to the wind, and she continues to spiral despite Taleen pleading with her to let the issue go by the wayside. Frustrated by the lack of resolution, Stanbury gives up and makes her way out of the party, leaving the rest of the cast to deal with Brooks’ emotional volatility. The move only further aggravates Brooks, and she continues to spew a concerning amount of rage toward Stanbury, going so far as to call her a “dumb cunt” while her castmates look on in shock.
The moment is jarring, purely because of how unexpected it is for the nature of the argument. Remember, this all started from a sideways quip by Stanbury over drunk behavior. It’s hard to believe we have the whole story yet — I refuse to accept that Brooks could get this worked up over an issue that did not directly affect her and that the insulted party has chosen to forgive. Then again, this is Housewives, the land of season-long feuds over dinner-party invites, so anything is truly possible. One thing’s for sure: I look forward to finding out the truth alongside the rest of you in the coming weeks.