If we’ve learned anything about the titular girls in The Sex Lives of College Girls, it’s that they like partners who are a little bit mean to them. Bela and Eric’s relationship is built on competition and taking each other down. Leighton’s obsessed with a girl who humiliates her and flirts by trading insults. Whitney is attracted to her biochemistry classmate Andrew after he absolutely negs her (again). Only Kimberly seems to prefer niceness, but her crush is too nice to her this week. She could use a little bit of mean.
Kimberly is worried that she’s been “med-zoned†by Jackson. Leighton describes this phenomenon as when a guy takes care of a girl when she is sick and in a weakened state and is therefore subsequently unable to see her as desirable. (That only caused me a brief spiral through past unrequited crushes who have called me things like “trooper†and “champâ€; it’s fine.) He’s constantly checking in. He keeps asking if she’s feeling better. He talks about how gray her face was when she slept in his dorm. He’s way too familiar about the pads that she left in the bathroom. It’s not hot.
The post-operative cool girl then spends her time this week helping Lila get promoted to manager at Sips. She sees something in Lila that even Lila didn’t see, encourages her to apply, and helps her prep for the interview with nonsexual role-play. Where was that energy when Kimberly was trying to get a better job? Maybe Kimberly should work in the financial-aid department. I bet there are office jobs for students there, and she’s really good at identifying skills and mentoring. Lila gets the job then turns the advice she gave her back to Kimberly and encourages her to be proactive about changing how Jackson perceives her. She approaches him, assures him that she’s not fragile and up for anything, and bam! Next thing you know, they’re banging.
Leighton is chasing a potential siblings-or-dating situation with Tatum, a junior on the tennis team played by Gracie Dzienny. When Leighton turns to Willow for help meeting Tatum, Willow calls it “the twincest phase of coming out†— a bold joke to make on the network that brought us Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon. Willow facilitates an introduction and Leighton invites her to a comedy show on campus. Tatum continues to be rude to her. The one-two punch of Tatum calling campus events “gen pop†and then shaming Leighton for going ironically and not owning what she’s into is absolutely devastating. But later, at a party, Leighton gains the upper hand. The two of them trade insults about shows, area codes, and other rich-people things. Tatum seems impressed. I guess they’re allowed to neg each other.
This brings us to Whitney and Andrew. Whitney and Bela have been assigned as partners with Andrew for a lab assignment about yeast. Since Bela’s cutting to work on the aforementioned comedy show, it’s just the two of them. Andrew, who is extremely annoying, doesn’t want their help. He says that Whitney can pick out cute clip art for the cover page if she wants — so rude. Whitney then spills her coffee on the lab, making his “worst fears†come true. Then she catches an error in his math, which prompts him to be a little bit nicer to her, thank Asimov. And then Whitney notices his arms … and Andrew notices Whitney noticing his arms. Suddenly, I’m onboard with this relationship whose foundation was in negging and mansplaining. People can change. People grow. It’s just college, right?
Since Whitney, Leighton, and Kimberly are all looking up in the romance department, Bela’s love life has to come crashing down. That’s the law! Bela has been assigned as student liaison to Dan O’Connell, a visiting stand-up and late-night host played by John Reynolds. She caters to his every zit, allergy, and temperature need. She works up the courage to tell him she’s a comedy nerd and aspiring writer at exactly the right moment. He encourages her to send her résumé. She even gets to experience the thrill of brainstorming jokes for him and hearing the laughter when he performs the joke she helped write onstage.
But then, at a frat party that Dan attends, Eric swoops in and charms him in a tenth of the time. He name-drops the Catullan, which supplies a lot of writers for his staff. Dan encourages both of them to work on writers’ submission packets for the show. That’s a big step up from submitting your résumé for an unpaid internship. Bela doesn’t even know what goes in a packet, but Eric apparently has one good to go and Dan puts his info directly into his phone. Bela’s furious.
At first, I was on Bela’s side. I once wanted to write for late night, and then I realized it’s nearly impossible to just, like, apply on your merits like a normal job. It’s rich kids and nepo babies who can afford to take unpaid internships (like Leighton says) and Ivy League students with “years of patriarchal access to the old boys’ network†(like Bela says). I hear comedy writers talk about “submitting†“packets†all the time without ever specifying what is in said packet or where exactly you’re supposed to submit them. Bela loses her mind and pulls an all-nighter to write enough material for this thing. The urgency was not there before Eric totally eclipsed her in Dan’s eyes. That’s what’s so frustrating. It’s not wrong that Eric wanted to meet and shoot his shot with Dan, too, but she had an in! She was good to go, and Eric made it harder for her.
Leighton assures Bela that she’s funny enough and just needs to make sure that Dan remembers her. Leighton, unfortunately, forgot who she was talking to. Bela takes that advice as license to kiss Dan when she goes to pick him up for the airport the next morning. Bela, no! We talked about this in season one when you gave hand jobs to half of the Catullan staff. You gotta stop doing stuff like this.
I’ll wait until next week to hear her explanation before I fully pass judgment, but right now, I’m mad and disappointed. I’m sure part of it has to do with her being mad at Eric for swooping in and stealing the connection she worked hard to make. Are teens doing this? Have we learned nothing from Me Too and, like, Legally Blonde? Don’t hook up with people to get jobs! Even if you initiated it, even if you both consent, there is still a power discrepancy and it creates a conflict of interest in a work environment. It’s a real bummer of a note to end this episode on. I haven’t been this mad at a fictional college girl’s decision since Rory stole a boat in Gilmore Girls. I want to root for Bela, but she makes it so hard sometimes.
Electives
• I guess Kimberly’s financial issues really are over if she wasn’t at all interested in that Sips promotion for herself. That’s good to hear! I still think her parents are going to find out that her scholarship is gone, somehow, but at least she’s out of immediate financial danger.
• Eric also, not to keep harping on this, totally negs Dan! He impresses him by joking that it’s weird he likes ice-cold beer, that knowing about the Catullan isn’t actually impressive, and that other people think his job isn’t cool. This show has a problem.
• Why are college students sending in writers’ packets in the first place? I thought this was about an internship, not a staff position. Bela’s a freshman. Eric’s … not a senior, I don’t think. Go to class!
• Journalist’s honor, I had not seen this far ahead when I made the prediction that Whitney and Andrew would become a thing a few episodes ago. I really am just that good at ’ship spotting.
• Have you noticed that just about every story line on this show is resolved “later, at a party� If only adult life were that simple.