Tenax, the gangster king of the Suburra in ancient Rome, has more than just a faction of gold. He’s got a heart of gold, too. His star employee, friend, and possible love interest, Cala, has pointed this out in the past, noting that he treats the small army of orphans in his service very well, considering his reputation. None of that “pass the beatings on to the younger kids†hazing shit for Tenax. The moment he got free of the need to dole out that kind of punishment for a living, he stopped, preferring to treat the children the way he himself wishes he’d been treated when he arrived in the bowels of the Circus Maximums as a young runaway.
So when his leading underage agent (underagent?) turns up dead, brutally hanged and left on display for all the other kids to see, Tenax takes it harder than even the boy’s sister. Quite surprisingly and quite without guile, he starts crying and doesn’t stop until the funeral rites have been completed. Life is cheap in Rome, as Tenax has both demonstrated and (I believe) said in so many words (okay, so the scripts have their weak spots), but a child’s life is indeed dear to him.
Maybe the reason he’s so upset is that he blames himself. Ursus, the brutal army veteran responsible for the killing, was his fellow slave once upon a time, helping him burn their sexually abusive patrician master alive. The fire that broke out as a result separated the two, allowing Tenax to escape but condemning Ursus to a life of hard servitude for the Empire. (As a veteran, Ursus would be trusted over Tenax were he to reveal the murder to the authorities, I guess, which is the only thing that makes this blackmail scheme makes sense.)
And there’s one more little tidbit Ursus leaves Tenax with following their final fiery confrontation during Those About to Die episodes five and six, as the big man leaves the gangster for dead: the patrician pedophile who enslaved them was, in fact, Tenax’s biological father. “Patrician blood runs through you,†Ursus growls, making it an insult. But surely a guy a sharp as Tenax will see a way to turn this bloodline to his advantage.
In this pair of episodes’ other big brute-related story line, the gladiator-in-training Kwame gets his first big moment in the spotlight, hand-selected by Domitian to die at the hands of the colossal killer Flamma in honor of Emperor Titus’s marriage to his new Roman wife, Marcia (Clelia Zanini). Considering how key gladiatorial combat is to making this whole thing work, reserving this first marquee fight till halfway through the season shows admirable restraint on the part of the filmmakers.
So does making the contest not an underdog victory, but simply a “congratulations for not dying.†Domitian resents Kwame for putting hands on him during training that one time — and will come to resent him even more when Kwame takes advantage of Mount Vesuvius’s eruption to nearly kill Domitian in the confusion — and so wants him put down by the victorious Flamma. But Titus admires the smaller man’s spirit and determination, up to and including the tough and frankly brutal decision to hack off one of his comrades’ legs to free himself from a chain. If it were up to him, all of these men would be fighting on the field, not the arena floor. He spares Kwame, allowing him to fight another day.
The smoothest move anyone pulls off here, however, is a maneuver executed by Domitian with ample help from Tenax and his informant, Jula. The eruption of Vesuvius that destroys Pompeii, coupled with Antonia’s stealthy extinguishing of the eternal vestal flame, is the kind of sign from above that the superstitious and religious look for when matters of succession are at stake, and Blue faction leader Consul Marsus aims to make his move for the Emperor’s curule chair.
It’s actually quite satisfying to watch the plan systematically backfire. Jula, Cala’s enslaved daughter, overhears and runs straight to Tenax. Tenax takes the news directly to Domitian. Domitian persuades his brother to let him out of house arrest long enough to show him the danger he’s in firsthand. Together, the three men lurk beneath the Senate chamber, listening as Marsus and his colleagues in the Red and Green factions openly plot to overthrow Titus and claim the Imperial laurel. In the entire history of Rome, no one has ever gotten caught more red-handed. If you’re a fan of pompous rich assholes getting taken down, even if it’s by other only slightly less pompous rich assholes, it’s pretty delicious. It’s also what gets the Gold faction restored, directly rewarding Tenax for his service while weakening the factions’ senatorial backers.
With a cast of hundreds — all of them very neatly and helpfully labeled by name in just two short screens of the closing credits, which is a real boon if knowing these guys’ names is part of your job description — the subplots fly fast and furious around these Roman streets. My personal favorite thread at the moment is how many characters are finally getting laid by people who aren’t their bosses, clients, or employees. While Cala and Tenax finally begin flirting — their relationship has been so businesslike up until this point that, despite it being obvious where they’re headed, I genuinely have no idea if Iwan Rheon and Sara Martins have chemistry at all — Cala’s daughters both get some action. Jula hooks up with Andria, her fellow virgin among the three horse-loving Spanish brothers, while Aura gets downright steamy with a woman she picks up on the street. Not for the first time this season did I think, They can show this on Peacock?
Moving right along, Rufus (Michael Maggi), the no-good gambler who lost his wife, Salena’s, shares in the Blue faction, gets put to work by Berenice, Titus’s Judean queen-mistress-whatever. Having figured out that Tenax and Domitian have some kind of secret arrangement — keep in mind no one outside the two of them and Scorpus knows that Domitian is the largest shareholder in the Golds — she tells the degenerate gambler to get a job with Tenax working off his debts; his real job will be reporting back to her.
Elsewhere, Cala’s plan to employ the new vestal virgin matron to free her remaining son and daughter falls on deaf ears. We meet Viggo’s family and they seem very nice. Tenax is maneuvering to have himself named the new head of the games in place of the guy with the wig, and his test gig will be executing Marsus and his fellow conspirators, so that ought to be a hoot.
Just as Daniel P. Mannix’s source text is more about an idea of ancient Rome than it is about ancient Rome itself, Those About to Die is basically a show about what it would be like to live in a show about ancient Rome. It’s broad, it plays to the cheap seats, it’s got blood and boobs and butts by the bucketload. And I mean, you don’t see me complaining, do you? Those About to Die is not trying to be I, Claudius or even Game of Thrones or ShÅgun. It’s just good sleazy fun in that basic prestige-epic register. It’s a toga party.
That’s why when the show breaks with that basic register, I sit up and take notice. Tenax’s tears over that child’s death are so quick to flow, and so obviously heartfelt; it’s not a side of actor Iwan Rheon we’ve seen either here or with his most famous role, as GoT psycho Ramsay Bolton, and it makes an impression. So does the eruption of Vesuvius, a nightmarishly huge cloud of ash that descends the mountainside like an avalanche before coating Rome in a snowlike patina of gray flakes — two very different but equally striking visual depictions of a natural catastrophe.
And as the world’s biggest sucker for cooperation, I can’t tell you how my heart leapt to see Tenax, Domitian, and Titus work together to thwart Marsus’s play for the throne. None of these guys are such great shakes, so it’s not like, “Hooray, evil is defeated†or anything like that. It’s more that it’s simply pleasant to watch people who have every incentive to be at each other’s throats instead choose to work together, help each other, and treat each other decently in the process. When Titus sincerely thanked Domitian for saving his life, I wanted to get in on a group hug. Life may be cheap in Rome, but that’s all the more reason to let your bro know you love him.