The third season of Only Murders in the Building has raised an important question: Would anyone actually pay to see a Broadway musical in which three infants are accused of murder? That is a question we cannot answer — personally, I say “yes,†especially if Meryl Streep and Ashley Park are starring in it — but we can try to answer the other major question of the season: Who killed Ben Glenroy (Paul Rudd), the beloved, obnoxious star of the play formerly known as Death Rattle? Here’s the latest, based on the events depicted during episode seven, “CoBro,â€Â in our ongoing investigation of the key suspects.
Probably Didn’t Do It
Gregg Rivera (Adrian Martinez)
Everyone except the police has been convinced that Gregg didn’t actually kill Ben. But at the end of “CoBro,†the cops — well, one cop in particular, the handsome Det. Biswas — say they have to reopen the Ben Glenroy case after Mabel explains in her new solo version of the Only Murders in the Building podcast that Gregg could not have been at the Arconia when Ben plummeted to his death. That means the cops are finally going to admit they don’t have their guy, which should blow the case wide open! A question: Who was Biswas talking to on the phone when he said, “You’re right, they’re a major pain in the ass,†referring, presumably, to Mabel and her former podcast-making buddies? My money’s on a colleague, most likely Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s Detective Williams. Which raises a second question: Why didn’t the police want to properly investigate Ben’s death?
Matthew Broderick (Matthew Broderick)
I think it’s pretty clear that Broderick, while a nightmare to work with in the Only Murders world, is not capable of killing anyone. But Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago? Perhaps someone should research where he was on the night of Ben’s death.
Howard Morris (Michael Cyril Creighton)
As established in last week’s Only Murders suspect rundown, Howard didn’t do it.
Jonathan Bridgecroft (Jason Veasey)
Neither did Jonathan.
Kimber (Ashley Park)
Neither did Kimber.
Joy (Andrea Martin)
Joy’s absence from the past couple of episodes — understandable given her split from Oliver — raises the admittedly slim possibility that she could resurface late in the season as the killer. But I kinda doubt that’s gonna happen.
Mabel Mora (Selena Gomez)
Mabel is way too invested in solving this case — specifically, ditching Charles and Oliver to launch her solo podcast career — to have actually killed Ben, on whom she also harbored a lifelong crush. The only way she could be the killer is if she disassociated so hard that she forgot she shoved Paul Rudd down an elevator shaft, and there is zero reason to believe she did that. What’s more — Mora? — I am prepared to officially rule out both of her old, Gut Milk–swigging buddies, too.
Oliver Putnam (Martin Short)
Yes, he has tampered with evidence, but he is so wildly (and understandably!) suspicious of Loretta that it wouldn’t make any sense at all if he were the culprit.
Charles-Haden Savage (Steve Martin)
In last week’s rundown, I moved Charles from the “Most Suspicious Suspects†category to the “Too Soon to Count Out†section. But he definitely belongs in the “Probably Didn’t Do It†club because he does not seem capable of committing nor covering up the crime for this long. He couldn’t even stay mad at Oliver for more than a couple days, you think he’s going to haul off and assassinate Ben Glenroy, major movie star? No, Charles dates killers, but he’s not one himself.
Donna DeMeo (Linda Emond) and/or Cliff DeMeo (Wesley Taylor)
Once again, I think these two have their heads too far up their own asses to summon the time or effort required to kill a person.
Jerry Blau (Peter Bartlett)
The director squatting in the Goosebury Theater doesn’t even appear in this week’s episode, so I kinda doubt he’s the killer.
Harry Styles
The man who pays the mortgage on Harry’s House was mentioned literally once in a single episode this season, so he’s almost definitely not the murderer. But I have committed to this “Harry is a suspect†bit and I will remain committed through the season finale. By the way, did you know that if you say the name Harry Styles three times, sorta like Beetlejuice, a boa will immediately appear around your neck? It’s true and something to keep in mind the next time Harry goes on tour, as it’s much easier to summon a boa than to try to find one at Party City.
Too Soon to Count Out
Uma Heller (Jackie Hoffman)
Uma, who acts as partial narrator of “CoBro,†was in the hallway when Ben’s body crashed through the elevator ceiling, so I don’t think she killed him. But the BFF of the late Bunny Folger is (A) prone to anger; (B) a collector of random objects, which gives off mild serial killer vibes; and (C) perfectly happy to sell Ben’s handkerchief for $7,000. It is highly unlikely that she killed Ben solely to get a little cash from a bloody handkerchief, but her bitterness about the loss of Bunny, coupled with her willingness to part with the handkerchief when she clings to her other acquired objects, should not be dismissed completely. Also the fact that not one but two people tampered with the crime scene makes the cops look extra negligent, as if they didn’t bother to investigate at all because they already knew what happened.
K.T., the stage manager (Allison Guinn)
Think about the idea of K.T. being the killer. Does it make you gasp or go, “Oh wow, tell me more� No, it just makes you say, “Oh, really?†in a monotone. I doubt she’s the killer, but again, I would like a little more evidence to back that up before I remove her from the proverbial murder board.
Bobo Malone (Don Darryl Rivera)
Ask yourself: Where has Bobo been the past couple of episodes? Where exactly was he when Ben died, either the first or second time? Until we know, we can’t know, you know?
Ty Wessex (Gerald Caesar)
I have even less of a clue about what Ty’s deal is and therefore he remains in the maybe column.
President McKinley
In theory, Charles’s goldfish can’t commit murder. No offense to President McKinley, but he doesn’t have the upper-body strength nor the capacity to survive very long outside water, which seem like bare minimum requirements for poisoning and/or murder-shoving. On the other hand, for those of you who think most goldfish just mind their own business and don’t stir up drama, I present to you this motherfucker. So, yeah: still could have been involved somehow.
The Most Suspicious Suspects
Dickie Glenroy (Jeremy Shamos)
Ben’s brother and manager certainly comes out of “CoBro†looking more guilty than ever before. The last time we see him in the episode, he’s holding the bloodied handkerchief that was on Ben’s person when he died, which he presumably bought from the CoBro nerd at the auction who previously bought it from Uma. He was very convincing when he told Mabel that Gregg was the killer. But if he really believes that, why did he buy back that handkerchief?
It’s possible that Dickie, who is disgusted by Mabel’s attempt to exploit Ben’s death even as he literally sells all of his dead brother’s stuff, is seeking his form of revenge by cashing in on Ben’s demise. As Dickie tells Mabel, he was adopted because his parents could not conceive. But then Mom and Dad Gilroy conceived Ben, the miracle child who was favored over Dickie ever since he came out of the womb asking who farted. Ben even appears to have taken credit for the genesis of the CoBro comic even though Dickie apparently created it, a detail that really rips a page right out of the Chester P. Lampwick story. Dickie might not have the amorality required to off his brother, but he may feel entitled enough to a certain level of compensation that he was willing to participate in some sort of scheme designed to get Ben out of the way and make all of the involved accomplices rich and/or famous.
Tobert (Jesse Williams)
Tobert says something interesting when he sets up the mic and soundboard to record Mabel’s podcast: “Cinda Canning’s not the only one who has access to top-notch equipment.†This implies that Mabel didn’t take Cinda’s money but has gone rogue, alongside Tobert, in launching her podcast. It also suggests that Tobert knows exactly what kind of equipment Cinda has. But how? He could easily assume she has top-notch equipment (because she does), but he says it in a way that sounds like he’s familiar with how she records. Also, we never see Mabel mention Cinda’s offer to Tobert, though it’s fair to assume they have a conversation about it off-camera. Still: Something about all that made me go hmmm.
Would Tobert actually go so far as to kill Ben so he could work on a podcast or documentary about his death? Or — and I am truly spitballing right now — is he making a documentary about solving Ben’s murder, which means Mabel herself is an unwitting suspect in said documentary? (He easily could have set up hidden cameras in Mabel’s apartment.) We don’t have enough connectible dots yet to draw a straight line from “murderer†to Tobert. But the one consistent villain in every Only Murders season is the true-crime industrial complex. So I feel confident Tobert is central to understanding how Ben died, if not the killer himself.
Cinda Canning (Tina Fey)
Cinda was eager to hire Mabel to make a podcast about the murder. Does that mean she’s in some way connected to Ben’s death? Considering Cinda’s snake-y tendencies, maybe! She may have tried to hire Mabel so she could control whatever Mabel might reveal in her podcast about Ben’s death. Given the weirdness of Tobert’s Cinda comment, maybe he and Cinda hired someone to kill Ben, then recruited Dickie and Mabel into their cover-up camp in an attempt to rehab all of their careers. All I know is I am deeply suspicious of Cinda.
Loretta Durkin (Meryl Streep)
Charles completely dismisses the idea that Loretta killed Ben after looking through her collection of Ben magazine clips, which Oliver straight-up stole from her apartment. “I’m not saying it’s not weird,†Charles says of what could easily be interpreted as evidence of stalking. “It’s just not evidence of murder.â€
Oliver isn’t convinced and I’m not either — not yet. In last week’s suspect round-up, I mentioned the theory floating around that Loretta is actually Ben’s mother. It’s just as possible that she is Dickie’s mom, especially now that we know that Dickie was adopted. Her dislike of Ben, and her assertion since episode one of Dickie’s kindness, makes complete sense in this context, as does the idea that she tracked Ben’s career because it was the best way to simultaneously keep watch over Dickie.
I have suggested before that multiple people may have attempted to kill Ben: one who tried to poison him and failed and one who succeeded in shoving him into the elevator shaft. Maybe Dickie attempted to administer the poison at Loretta’s urging and did not succeed, prompting Loretta to finish the job — maybe deliberately, maybe accidentally — for her son. And maybe Loretta’s the one who recruited Cinda and/or Tobert to turn Ben’s murder into dishy true crime in an effort to make sure Dickie would be more than financially secure if Ben — the brother Dickie also refers to as “his business†— were no longer with us. This all sounds very plausible. But maybe it’s too plausible? Should it be this easy to solve the murder with three episodes left to go?