Heather Havrilesky Author Archive
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Heather Havrilesky

Columnist, the Cut.
See all their articles from across New York Magazine
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  1. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Are the Guys I Date So Boring?Think of it this way: They’re potatoes, and you’re a radish.
  2. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Act Normal?“Normal” is just the language spoken by socially smooth UltraNormals and Sort-of-Normals and Abnormals alike.
  3. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Being So Obsessed With My Boyfriend?This column includes a special excerpt from the young Polly’s diaries!
  4. fame
    Is Bruce Jenner Up to the Task of Playing Himself?With an upcoming E! docu-series, it’s his very first time.
  5. advice
    Ask Polly: Is Total Honesty Possible in a Relationship?Not the way your boyfriend’s doing it.
  6. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Hating Myself?Stop online dating, for one thing.
  7. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Marry My Boyfriend Even Though He Doesn’t Want Sex?This is his problem, not yours.
  8. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Did My Friends Ditch Me?Two people lying to each other isn’t a friendship, it’s a Raymond Carver story.
  9. advice
    Ask Polly: Did I Waste My College Years?In the immortal words of Fleetwood Mac, you don’t know what it means to win.
  10. advice
    Ask Polly: Can I Kick My Mom Out of My Life?You could, but not while you’re pregnant and feeling crazy.
  11. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Are Other People Always Messing Up?Because you see the world in black and white.
  12. advice
    Ask Polly: ‘Holly Craps, Who the Hell He Thinks He Is?’The dating problems truly are the same everywhere.
  13. ask polly
    Ask Polly: How Do I Deal With My Crazy Family Over the Holidays?Forgive those damaged freaks.
  14. advice
    Ask Polly: Are You Sure?HELL, NO. I am not sure. I am never sure.
  15. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Turn Off My Feelings?Don’t do that — just put away your jaunty seductress persona.
  16. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I Being Too Paranoid?Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
  17. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Being Such a Jerk?Stop lying to avoid seeming weak.
  18. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Live Alone So I Can Act Weird and Not Feel Ashamed?Nah.
  19. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Let Go When I Thought He Was ‘The One’?Don’t let yourself get cropped out of the picture.
  20. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Make a Living As an Artist?First, you have to make being an artist your religion. Next, get a job.
  21. advice
    Ask Polly: Will My Semi-Available Boyfriend Ever Change?Ditch the bobblehead and let yourself feel.
  22. advice
    Ask Polly: What If I Never Find Love?You have to love the process, because that’s all there is.
  23. advice
    Ask Polly: Will Moving to a Different City Make My Family Happy?The world is your oyster — sort of.
  24. advice
    Ask Polly: Would He Love Me If I Were Prettier, Skinnier, and Sweeter?You just summed up exactly why overachieving women find themselves tangled up with aimless guys.
  25. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Get My Husband to Act Like a Man?If you don’t want to wear the pants, then take the pants off.
  26. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Have All My Friends Disappeared?Because you act like they’re your enemies.
  27. advice
    Ask Polly: Do I Have to Lose Weight to Find Love?You are not looking for someone who loves you for the sum of your quantifiable qualities.
  28. advice
    Ask Polly: My Friend Lost Weight and Now I Want Him. Am I Shallow?Don’t let a pop-culture fairy tale cloud your vision.
  29. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Get Over the Co-worker I Slept With?Stop looking for intrigue and settling for moody-dude leftovers.
  30. advice
    Ask Polly: Aging Is Scary, and Life Is a Struggle. Why Keep Going?It’s not actually so bad. It just looks that way when you’re young.
  31. advice
    Ask Polly: I Hate My Job and Feel Like a Fraud. What Should I Do?If you want to be happy, stop trying to know everything.
  32. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Don’t the Men I Date Ever Truly Love Me?You don’t cherish yourself, so you put up with men who don’t either.
  33. advice
    Ask Polly: How Am I Supposed to Make Friends in My Late 20s?Aim low and open your heart.