Heather Havrilesky Author Archive
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Heather Havrilesky

Columnist, the Cut.
See all their articles from across New York Magazine
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  1. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Get a Boob Job?Why are you asking for permission?
  2. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m Sick of Being Unhappy and Alone!It’s time to get as far outside yourself as you can.
  3. advice
    Ask Polly: Can I Start Over in a New Career?You’re unlikely to succeed in a field you don’t believe in or enjoy.
  4. growth strategies
    Reading Angelina Jolie, Mother of DragonsShe did what she liked ten years ago, and what she likes right now is directing.
  5. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m Obsessed With Making People Jealous of My Perfect Life!Act like no one cares, because they don’t.
  6. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I Too Smart for My Own Good?Stop thinking of yourself as cursed.
  7. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Do You Always Tell People to Go to Therapy?Having an objective listener makes a difference.
  8. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Tell Him What I Want?Do it — NOW.
  9. staring into the void
    Katy Perry and the Fear of a Female PlanetAnd what does it mean for her to endorse Hillary Clinton?
  10. advice
    Ask Polly: Will I Ever Find Love As a Single Mom?Don’t give up on yourself.
  11. it’s uterus not uter-you
    We Are Pregnant!Strangely, only one of us started to vomit every morning.
  12. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Show Him My Dark Side?Just unleash your dragons.
  13. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Doesn’t Anyone Like Me No Matter How Hard I Try?Let go of your faulty formula.
  14. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I a Boring, Empty, Soulless Fake?Even if you were, what would that mean?
  15. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Just Give Up on My Writing?Writing can’t be a popularity contest, and popularity doesn’t add up to much anyway.
  16. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Go for My Dream Girl?Don’t settle!
  17. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Help My Selfish, Depressed Friend?Dump her.
  18. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Is Everyone Succeeding Except Me?Put your ego aside and figure out what makes you happy.
  19. privacy
    The Ashley Madison Hack Should Scare You, TooWe’re all living in glass houses.
  20. advice
    Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want Kids, But I Think I Do!Your problem here goes beyond the question of children.
  21. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Is My Ex’s Happiness Making Me So Sad?You’re human. That’s fine.
  22. pleas
    Leave Mariah Alone, DammitWhy do we act like it’s weird when kids are kids and moms are moms?
  23. advice
    Ask Polly: I Keep Drifting Into Meaningless Flings!As long as you treat sex as reassurance, you won’t find the relationship you want.
  24. shes the boss
    Want to Be Better at Your Job? Have a Kid.Trust me.
  25. Ask Polly: Are My Friends Using Me?Stop trying to solve their problems.
  26. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m 36—Did I Miss My Chance for Love?You haven’t done anything wrong, and you still have time.
  27. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Obsessing Over My Former Enemy?You’re lucky — this is an opportunity.
  28. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Make Conversation?Don’t act like a robot.
  29. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Doesn’t Anything Feel Fun?You’ve powered down your feelings.
  30. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Dump My Oldest Friend?Set some boundaries.
  31. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m Panicked That He’ll Leave Me. They Always Do!Put your hopes and dreams first and hold back some of what you’re thinking.
  32. advice
    Ask Polly: How Can I Stay Happy When Tragedy Surrounds Me?Remember, WINTER IS COMING for all of us.
  33. advice
    Ask Polly: How Can I Forgive My Husband?You are both flawed. Accept it and embrace it.
  34. debuts
    Why We Shouldn’t Be Cynical About Caitlyn Jenner’s VF CoverAs a pinup, she’s putting it all out there.
  35. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Stay Sane With My Crazy Mom?Just accept that she’s going to be crazy.
  36. advice
    Ask Polly: Help, I Feel Like I’m Drowning!The challenge here is to show yourself how strong you are.
  37. fame
    Amal Clooney, the Impossible PrincessCrusading glamour-girl human-rights fantasy warrior woman.
  38. books
    It Doesn’t Matter If Gwyneth Paltrow Is Wrong About EverythingDespite what a new book argues.
  39. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m 25 and My Life Has Been Great, So Why Don’t I Have a Passion?Because passion takes hard work, and you’ve had it easy.
  40. advice
    Ask Polly: Can I Cut Off My Mother-in-Law?Treating her like an enemy will only make you miserable.
  41. and we’ll never be royals
    Royal Baby Girl Fated to Lead International Mob of Fake Princesses? But at least she can enjoy the style, title, and attribute of royal highness.
  42. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I Settling?Well: Can you defend your relationship in a court of law?
  43. tv
    The Bruce Jenner Interview Was a TriumphWho would have guessed?
  44. Ask Polly: How Do I Deal With Losing Friends?Start by accepting that different people are different.
  45. friends forever
    The Friend I’ve Been Fighting With for 20 YearsThe pleasures and perils of a lifelong friendship.
  46. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Have a Baby or Establish My Career First?Choose both. Choose the career AND choose the baby.
  47. advice
    Ask Polly: Can I Trust My Judgment About Men?Being wrong sometimes doesn’t make you more prone to bad choices.
  48. advice
    Ask Polly: Can I Be Friends With My Ex Now That I’m Married?Yes, but ask yourself why you want to be.
  49. advice
    Ask Polly: Is My Boyfriend Bad News?For this week’s answer, we take a trip to Deadwood.
  50. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Doesn’t My Family Understand Me?Spending time with your family means compromising. EVERYONE compromises.
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