Madeleine Aggeler Author Archive
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Madeleine Aggeler

Senior Writer, the Cut.
See all their articles from across New York Magazine
@mmaggeler
  1. jolly old england
    Good Luck Ever Experiencing Desire Again After Reading This British MP’s Sexts“A horny daddy is a generous daddy,” he texted a bartender he barely knew. Also: “Sadly the Queen is ill.”
  2. whoa
    In Blow to Almond-Milk Enthusiasts, FDA Chief Admits ‘An Almond Doesn’t Lactate’Brave.
  3. tv
    Rape Skeptic Kurt Metzger Wrote for Sacha Baron Cohen’s New ShowThe comedian, who has repeatedly belittled rape accusers, is one of ten men (and no women) writing for Who Is America?
  4. totally soaked
    It’s Time to Admit Water Sex SucksWe don’t need to keep doing this to ourselves.
  5. totally soaked
    Just 50 Horny Photos of Bruce SpringsteenAnd then 50 more.
  6. over easy
    Are Homemade Doughnuts Worth the Effort and Fire Hazard?A painful investigation.
  7. family separation policy
    In Painful Reunions, Immigrant Mothers Say Their Children Don’t Recognize Them“He didn’t recognize me. My joy turned temporarily to sadness.”
  8. brands
    Never Mind, the Handmaid’s Tale Wine Has Been CanceledGuess we’ll have to toast our imminent reproductive dystopia with non-branded wine now.
  9. crime
    5-Month-Old Baby Found Buried Alive in Montana Mountains“For all of us at the sheriff’s office, this is what we call a miracle.”
  10. scotus
    What You Can Do to Fight Brett Kavanaugh’s Appointment to the Supreme CourtJudge Brett Kavanaugh’s appointment to the Supreme Court could spell disaster for millions of Americans.
  11. thai cave rescue
    All 12 Thai Soccer Players and Their Coach Have Been RescuedAfter being trapped for over two weeks.
  12. the harvey weinstein case
    Harvey Weinstein, a Very Delusional Man, Is Apparently Still Reviewing ScriptsHis lawyer said he is “trying to pursue additional projects in the future.”
  13. interruptions
    Can You Spot the Cat in This Video?Keep your eyes open.
  14. kardashian babies
    Khloé Kardashian Is Pissed Someone Said Her Baby Is ‘Not Cute at All’“What self-respecting adult would even comment on a child’s appearance?”
  15. thailand cave rescue
    Eight Thai Soccer Team Members Rescued From Flooded Cave (Updated)The boys have been trapped for more than two weeks.
  16. meanwhile in the hamptons
    ‘Page Six’ Anonymous Source Was Too Drunk to Recognize Tiffany TrumpBut they could tell someone important was at the same Hamptons house party as them.
  17. thai cave rescue
    Former Navy SEAL Diver Dies Trying to Save Thai Soccer Team Trapped in CaveAuthorities say the boys are running out of oxygen.
  18. over easy
    I Love This Ugly, Easy Fresh Pasta DisasterMaking malfatti was my destiny.
  19. protests
    Statue of Liberty Climber: ‘In a Democracy, We Do Not Put Children in Cages’Therese Patricia Okoumou has pleaded not guilty to trespassing and other charges.
  20. usa!
    Leonardo DiCaprio and Sean Penn’s Fourth of July Party Sounds Extremely CursedAccording to TMZ there were “tons of chicks.”
  21. lifestyles of lindsay lohan
    Lindsay Lohan Denies Reporting Rival Nightclub to Greek Tax AuthoritiesLiLo says she was NOT bragging to everyone in Mykonos about getting a club called Nammos temporarily shut down.
  22. summer of scam
    Meta-Scammer Arrested for Robbing Man Who Tried to Scam HerShould scammers be punished for robbing other scammers?
  23. sexual misconduct
    Guy Pearce Says Kevin Spacey Was a ‘Handsy Guy’ on SetThe two co-starred in 1997’s L.A. Confidential.
  24. thailand cave rescue
    Thai Soccer Team Could Be Trapped in Cave for Months Unless They Learn to DiveAuthorities are struggling to figure out how extract the 12 boys and their coach who have been stuck in a cave for ten days.
  25. canada
    Justin Trudeau Responds to Allegations of Groping a Reporter“I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.”
  26. babies!
    Sorry But I Don’t Find This Newborn Planet Very CuteNo offense.
  27. protests
    Why People are Wearing White to Saturday’s Immigration ProtestsMore than 600 “Families Belong Together” marches are planned across the country.
  28. celebrity
    Don’t Ask John Legend About Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s Meals“Reunite the f*cking kids with their families, then we’ll talk about Sarah Sanders and her f*cking dinners.”
  29. capital gazette shooting
    Capital Gazette Shooting Suspect Was Angry Paper Reported on His HarassmentGazette staff say Jarrod Ramos threatened the paper for years.
  30. over easy
    Chrissy Teigen and I Would Like You to Try This Sheet-Pan MealA meal as cool and breezy as Teigen herself.
  31. summer of scam
    Anna Delvey Wants You to Send Her Mail at RikersScammers love letters too.
  32. family separation policy
    The Government Is Ordering Toddlers to Appear in Immigration Court AloneUnaccompanied children as young as 3 are being dragged before judges.
  33. scotus
    Did Trump … Just Forget Justice Kennedy’s Name?“Justice Anthony — you know who I’m talking about.”
  34. bardi baby
    Cardi B’s Baby Shower Looked Fun As HellIt featured a Bardi Baby Bodega.
  35. drama
    Elaine Chao Shouts at Protesters for Heckling Her Lame Husband Mitch McConnellA group of Georgetown students confronted Chao and McConnell about the administration’s family-separation policy.
  36. crisis pregnancy centers
    Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Anti-Abortion Groups That Lie to Pregnant WomenAn all-male majority supported the right of crisis pregnancy centers to provide low-income women with deceptive medical information.
  37. family separation policy
    How Will 2,053 Detained Children Be Reunited With Their Parents?Everything we know about Trump’s so-called plan.
  38. presidential tweets
    President Trump Makes Veiled Threat Against ‘Low IQ Person’ Maxine Waters“Be careful what you wish for Max!”
  39. presidential tweets
    Trump, Whose Restaurant Has 78 Health-Code Violations, Calls Red Hen ‘Filthy’Mar-a-Lago’s past infractions include improperly refrigerated meat, unsanitary food prep, and mold.
  40. crime
    John McAfee Puts Your ‘Hey, Just Seeing This’ Texts to Shame“I apologize for my three-day absence,” he tweeted. “My enemies [managed] to spike something that I ingested.”
  41. animals
    April the Giraffe Might Be Pregnant Again But What About Her Other Life Goals?Maybe she wanted to go to grad school, or join the Peace Corps.
  42. loneliness
    Trump Staffers Can’t Get Laid“The last person I would want to be is a single Trump supporter dating in D.C. right now.”
  43. over easy
    This Beautiful Geometry Pie Is My Single Greatest AccomplishmentMaking one of Loko Kitchen’s hypnotic, Instagram-famous pies.
  44. immigration
    Melania Trump Visits Detained Children in TexasThe trip was reportedly planned in less than 48 hours.
  45. keeping up with the royals
    Do You Think Anyone at Royal Ascot Knew Meghan Markle’s Name?Apparently she didn’t wear a name tag.
  46. family separation policy
    Immigrant Children Are Being Sent to Shelters With Histories of AbuseSeveral facilities have reputations for drugging and abusing children.
  47. family separation policy
    Ivanka Trump Thinks Images of Detained Kids Are a ‘Problem’She allegedly asked the president, “Daddy, what are we doing about this?”
  48. wtf
    Look at This Big Weirdo Fondling the FlagHe’s at it again.
  49. gravidson
    Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson Can’t Stop Getting Tattoos TogetherTo be young and in love.
  50. richick
    Sofia Richie, 19, and Scott Disick, 35, Are ‘Back to Normal’The teen joined her boyfriend for a Father’s Day lunch with his three children.
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