Taylor Garron Author Archive
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Taylor Garron

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  1. follow friday
    Tim Platt Wishes He Knew Where Birds Went When He’s Not Looking at Them“Some days I’m a responsible little boy doing a big-boy job, and some days I’m a bunch of bees drowning in oil.”
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    All the Kids Want to Know Sydnee Washington’s Skin-Care Routine“I’m all over the place mentally, and social media is like ‘Bitch get to the point and make it make sense.’”
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    Usama Siddiquee Wants You to Remember Comedians’ Names“When you’re laughing your ass off, you’re not really assessing details. It’s sort of a blackout of joy.”
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    Rosa Escandón May or May Not Be a Psychic“A lot of my tweets are just things that I see around: bathrooms, packages from my mom, turtles.”
  5. follow friday
    Ilana Michelle Rubin Considers Herself a Fun Person“I do feel brave and comfortable saying that my first sexual feelings were for an anthropomorphic hedgehog.”
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    Paul McCallion Has a Great Relationship With His Parents, UnfortunatelyTalking tweets with the New York–based writer and performer.
  7. follow friday
    Lili Michelle Will Wax Your Mustache If You Wax HersTalking body hair, mafia movies, and tweets with the New York–based comedian.
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    Ashley Glicken Wants to Play Santa in a Christmas Movie“The internet is as ridiculous as it is miraculous and as horrifying as it is sublime.”
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    Diana Chan Is Not a ThousandaireTalking tweets with the Brooklyn-based comedian and writer.
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    Jordan Mendoza Can Have a Little Microdose, As a TreatTalking tweets, TikTok, and getting wrecked on shrooms with the writer and comedian.
  11. follow friday
    Alysia Brown Is an NYC 9 and an Indiana 35Talking tweets with the New York–based stand-up comedian.
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    Brandon Follick Thinks Majoring in Biology Was a Grave Mistake“All I have ever wanted to be in life was Liz Lemon, but I didn’t know how.”
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    Maya Deshmukh Is a Prop QueenTalking tweets with the New York–based comedian and dentist.
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    Jon Millstein Had to Face His Skinny-Arm Demons“I love 280-character Twitter and will use every letter because I don’t know how to make short pithy observations that are good.”
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    Liva Pierce, World’s First Queer Gender Studies MinorTalking tweets with the Chicago-based writer and performer.
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    Johnathan Appel Has an Enemy in Anthony ScaramucciTalking tweets with the New York–based comedian.
  17. follow friday
    Michelle Davis Strongly Believes That Tater Tots Are a Breakfast FoodTalking tweets, tots, and Beyoncé with the Brooklyn-based comedian and writer.
  18. follow friday
    Kate Sisk Has a Great Story About Drawn-On Abs“Sometimes in my stand-up or improv, I try to do jokes that aren’t all gay. I’ve pretty much given that up on Twitter.”
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    Zubi Ahmed Takes 2–3 Business Days to Come Up With a Joke“Social media has definitely helped me be more comfortable with how often I think about death and the world ending.”
  20. follow friday
    Amir Khan Doesn’t Worry About Being RelatableTalking with the New York–based comedian about funny tweets and being a full-on dumbass.
  21. follow friday
    Tawanda Gona Writes Bits While Listening to Gucci ManeTalking with the comedian about writing jokes and faking his own death.
  22. follow friday
    Rachel Joravsky ‘Puts on for Her City,’ So to Speak“I do identify as a queer power Jewess, and I love showing up as such on Twitter.”
  23. follow friday
    Kenice Mobley’s Mom Is Genetically BlessedTalking tweets, vulnerability, and Eyes Wide Shut with the New York–based comedian.
  24. follow friday
    Sophie Helf Is Sexily Going Through Nicotine Withdrawal“There’s more to my life than just the prosthetics. But I do very much relish a good leg tweet.”
  25. follow friday
    Ben Wasserman Is Going to Dental School … Maybe?“If you’re going to be a comedian, then you better be willing to eat, breathe, and sleep comedy. And you better fucking tweet about it too.”
  26. follow friday
    Meg Stalter Thinks the Villain From The Mask Is Hot“There is nothing funnier to me than someone really bad who thinks they are the very best.”
  27. follow friday
    Brian Bahe Bases His Comedy on His Long, Wide Nipples“I pee about 10 to 15 times a day, which I’ve heard is way too many times a day to pee, but that is my journey.”
  28. follow friday
    Melissa Rocha Went to Art School, So She Knows What Art IsTalking tweets with the New York–based stand-up.
  29. follow friday
    Brodie Reed’s Favorite Band Is Still Linkin ParkTalking tweets with the L.A.-based comedian and writer.
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    Kate Willett Feels at Home With Intense New Yorkers“No one in New York has ever told me to ‘relax.’ What a relief.”
  31. follow friday
    Jamie Hood Loves Her Beautiful Daughter (Who Is a Dog)“I have no intention of doing stand-up, mainly because I love myself.”
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    Nadia Pinder Thinks It Would Be Cool to Be an Ancient Phoenician“I don’t need to be famous to keep telling jokes, but I do need to tell jokes to survive.”
  33. follow friday
    Otto Fernandez Thinks Offset Should’ve Been Cast As Blade“If I can turn being not followed into a flex, I’m gonna do it.”
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    Irene Morales’s Therapist Doesn’t Like Her JokesTalking tweets with the New York–based comedian and writer.
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    Arti Gollapudi’s Motivation Is to Get Rich QuickTalking tweets with the Brooklyn-based comedian.
  36. follow friday
    Diego Lopez Will Fight Your Child for MoneyTalking tweets with the Brooklyn-based comedian and MMA instructor.
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    Shelby Slauer Saw Thomas Jefferson’s BonesTalking tweets with the Brooklyn-based writer and comedian.
  38. follow friday
    Josh Nasser Wants the Chance to Do Insane Things in PublicTalking tweets with the Brooklyn-based writer and comedian.
  39. follow friday
    Alise Morales Has Not Been Using Her College DegreeTalking tweets, weed, and MySpace with the Brooklyn-based comedian.
  40. follow friday
    Jay Jurden Uses His Southernness As a BufferTalking with the comedian about writing funny tweets and the alt-milk scene.
  41. follow friday
    Jenny Nelson Wants to Leave You With an Abiding Gentle DiscomfortTalking tweets with the Brooklyn-based comedian.
  42. follow friday
    Yedoye Travis Is Loudly Nigerian, and That’s RedundantTalking tweets, stand-up, and hair braiding with the Atlanta native.
  43. follow friday
    Andrés Govea Wants to Remake Charlie’s Angels 2, But Worse“Being gay is absolutely the funniest thing you can do/be.”
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    Natasha Vaynblat Doesn’t Know Any Skrillex Fans IRLTalking tweets with the New York–based stand-up and improviser.
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    Rachel Kaly Can’t Wait to Get Canceled“Right now I’m really into personal-injury attorneys, Mario Batali, and being gay.”
  46. follow friday
    Gaya Rajagopalan Should Probably Get Lasik Eye SurgeryTalking tweets with the New York-based actor and comedian.
  47. follow friday
    Abby Barr Is Still Waiting to Hear Back From Rami MalekTalking tweets with the New York–based comedian.
  48. follow friday
    Ethan Beach Is Weird, But It’s Not Canada’s Fault“I get off on confusing people in strange and meaningless ways.”
  49. follow friday
    Sammi Skolmoski Isn’t Crazy About SpaghettiTalking tweets with the Chicago-based artist and writer.
  50. follow friday
    Ariel Leaty Has New Jersey’s Best HairTalking with the New Jersey-based comedian about tweets, hair routines, and being a local celebrity.
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