The 17 Worst Ways to Be Killed by Liam Neeson
Liam Neeson doesn’t look like the kind of man who’d want to kill you. With that charming Irish brogue and those sad eyes, he seems more in the mood for a cozy night indoors with popcorn and Love Actually than the type to go on a murderous rampage. But as his filmography has proven time and again — especially since 2008’s Taken turned him into a brooding, soulful action hero — his seemingly calm demeanor is likely what makes him such an efficient, creative killing machine. (If not quite as effective or creative as Jason Statham.) Here’s a reminder of the best ways that Neeson, out this weekend in Taken 3, can kill you.
He rams you in a decidedly unsexy way into every nook and cranny of an airplane's lavatory, then, when you reach for a gun, he chokes you next to the ...
He rams you in a decidedly unsexy way into every nook and cranny of an airplane's lavatory, then, when you reach for a gun, he chokes you next to the toilet. (Non-Stop)
He shoots at you until you flop over the railing of a very high floor and into the courtyard below, where you land on top of your dead friend, looking...
He shoots at you until you flop over the railing of a very high floor and into the courtyard below, where you land on top of your dead friend, looking like a pile of dirty clothes after a long day at the office. (Taken 2)
He throws you through a window, gets you in a headlock, then stabs you in the throat with a shard of glass. (Unknown)
He calmly drops you off the side of a high-rise-building construction site. (Darkman)
He splits open your chest after you think you beat him in a duel. (Rob Roy)
Who's behind that door? It's Liam Neeson with a gun he uses to shoot you point-blank. (Taken)
You might think you outfox him by shooting an arrow into his side, but Neeson rallies and slices you open with a sword. (Kingdom of Heaven)
Neeson straps small liquor bottles between his fingers, then punches you in the face, sending shards of glass and stinging alcohol into your eyes and ...
Neeson straps small liquor bottles between his fingers, then punches you in the face, sending shards of glass and stinging alcohol into your eyes and mouth. (The Grey)
Neeson stabs you in the chest with a kitchen knife, then uses your gun to shoot every other person in the room. (Taken)
He comes up from behind and cuts through your head like a chunk of soft cheese. (Kingdom of Heaven)
He runs your car off the side of steep embankment, then outmaneuvers you until you plow into construction equipment. (Taken)
Neeson slams you in the throat with a silver platter after politely offering you Champagne. (Taken)
He brandishes two nails to distract you, then plunges them into your thighs. Then he electrocutes you in a makeshift electric chair of his own design....
He brandishes two nails to distract you, then plunges them into your thighs. Then he electrocutes you in a makeshift electric chair of his own design. (Taken)
He holds you so your head sticks out of a manhole, then waits for you to get run over. (Darkman)
Most people use their feet to run away from Liam Neeson. It's because if you try to use them for anything else, he shoots them off. (Taken 2)
A retread of the original, but no less effective. Liam Neeson knows what works. (Taken 2)
Neeson sees your standard-issue surrender and raises you one lethal bullet to the chest anyway, just 'cause. And he does it before he even finishes co...
Neeson sees your standard-issue surrender and raises you one lethal bullet to the chest anyway, just 'cause. And he does it before he even finishes counting to three. (If you're Ryan Reynolds, he won't bother with the count at all.) (A Million Ways to Die in the West)