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For "panting puppy" Bill Clinton, "helpless victim" Ken Starr, and even our entire "soft-porn nation," Maureen Dowd has one message: She's angry with us! Really, really angry!

Countdown to Tina Brown's own Y2K problem: On the eve of the millennium, she's somehow supposed to get 'Talk' off the ground -- while everyone roots for her to fail.

Sign of the times: Tweedy Upper West Side literary lion teams up with Wall Street mogul to launch multimedia content "brand." Synergy for the elbow-patch crowd!

Senatorial sexcapades (and rumors thereof) continue to roil impeachment-happy Washington, but the 'Times' refuses to pursue the whole story. Hello, Larry Flynt!

AOL owns the Internet, has an absurd valuation (bigger than Viacom's!), and has media-company wannabes running the show. Guess what? Netscape's just an appetizer.

Why has Mort Zuckerman grafted a glittery, high-profile head to the working-class body of the "Daily News?" The answer has to do not with business but with vanity.

The national press, among the most knowledgeable and powerful (and self-important) people in the country, ended up out of the loop about the Monica mess. And, writes Michael Wolff, reclaiming their former status won't be easy.

Sure, Microsoft's a monopoly, but the government's attack is pitched at something larger: hubris. As Bill Gates's deeply weird video testimony showed, it's not a moment too soon.

Our congressmen are so busy getting ready for their career-making close-ups, they've hardly noticed that TV, in this age of cable and Internet, is no longer Watergate-ready.

It's Oprah's world and we all just live in it -- except, of course, for the editors of the "Times Book Review," who cling, a bit nostalgically, to their own obsolescence.