We fed a blindfolded François Payard of Payard Pâtisserie and Bistro 14 mass-market chocolates, with nothing but a glass of Fiji water to clear his palate.
Dove Milk Chocolate
This one I like. This is dark chocolate; I can taste the cocoa paste in this one. It’s very good. It’s like having the cow in your mouth. In France, we like dark chocolate; in America, it’s always milk chocolate.
Hershey’s Milk Chocolate
Ewgh. This one is very sandy in my mouth, very sugary. This is terrible. Too sweet. This must be a chocolate for baking. I don’t want to say that this chocolate is boring, but it is.
Caramello
I like this one, but it is very sweet. Voilà, this one is good. I like the caramel inside; it’s very creamy.
Ferrero Rocher
Ewgh, no, this is terrible.
Nestlé Crunch
This is interesting. I like the crispy, and the texture is not too much.
York Peppermint Pattie
I can tell even without seeing it that the sugary paste is very bright white, no? It’s very artificial.
Junior Mints
I know these are meant to be refreshing. I wouldn’t say it tastes like toothpaste, but something like that.
Snickers
I can imagine this is like an energy bar. It’s good, creamy, and the peanuts are good. As it turns out, I love peanuts, but most Frenchmen don’t. Peanuts are very American.
Baci
This one is the most delicious. Is it Ferrero Rocher? I like the praline paste. It’s a hazelnut-and-sugar mix with cocoa-paste filling. The flavor is very good.
Cadbury Dairy Milk
No, this one is not good; it’s too dense, too thick with sweetness. This is like Belgian chocolate; it tastes very fatty. There’s no interesting character. You can’t even enjoy the cocoa liquor in it.
M&M’s
This one is an M&M, of course. Do the colors taste different? I don’t know, do you know? I’m not sure if food dye has a flavor. I can’t tell the difference.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
I don’t like this; I don’t like having so much peanuts in me. It’s overpowering.
Toblerone
This is like an imitation of Toblerone. I used to like Toblerone. I’m not impressed with this. The nougatine piece inside is so sticky. I don’t eat chocolate to get sticky in my teeth. This is for people who don’t really know chocolate.
Kit Kat
This reminds me of when I was little because I was eating Kitty Kat every day. But this one is stale—taste it; it’s not expired to you, is it? It happens a lot with wafer.