The Before and After Parties
You know that big dinner-dance you're throwing for 200 friends
and family? That's merely the main event. First, there's the rehearsal
dinner, which is traditionally hosted by the groom's parents (or
the bride's parents, or the couple themselves, depending on who's
got the dough).
The guest list should include members of the wedding party plus
spouses or partners, all out-of-town guests, and the bride and groom's
close family members. "A lot of couples opt to have an intimate
sit-down dinner for just the wedding party and close family, and
then invite everyone else to a dessert gathering or cocktail party
afterward," points out New York wedding planner Marcy Blum.
And the partying doesn't stop after the I do's. Though not as de
rigueur as they once were, post-wedding breakfasts are often planned
as something nice for the out-of-town guest to do before returning
home, says etiquette maven Letitia Baldrige. "The breakfast can
be thrown by grandparents, an aunt and uncle, or godparents," she
explains, and it can be as formal as a hotel buffet, or as casual
as a barbecue/pool party. Whoever throws the pre- or post-wedding
bash, one rule remains firm: Never try to outshine the actual wedding.