When you’re pregnant, people often say to you: “Oh, this is so ugly, but my baby loved it!” My husband and I would always laugh and privately be like, “Okay, we can never, ever show our baby that.” I mean, it’s not as if babies are born with some kind of inherent desire for primary-colored plastic! And, as is the case for so many New Yorkers, we live in a very small apartment with our two daughters. If a baby item comes into our home, we will have to look at it every single day. This means that I am unwavering in my conviction that said baby items must look good and have a life span far beyond a few weeks. I’m also old-fashioned when it comes to baby gear — all they really need are diapers, a safe place to sleep, and people to love them.
That said, the extra stuff can be so much fun. We have two under 2, so we’re using all the same basics (stroller, baby carrier, etc.) from our first because they hadn’t even made their way to storage when I found out I was pregnant again. For my second baby, though, I got to focus on purchasing things I knew I truly liked that fell slightly outside the realm of pure practicality — many of which I’ve rounded up here. These are the things I love to talk to future parents about because they’re the items that bring more joy to your home than, say, a good snot sucker. (But you do need one of those, too.)
It’s true, these really are the best high chairs. They can be used from babyhood through adulthood, and they look beautiful in your dining room. (I can also attest that they are super comfortable as adult chairs. It’s not a gimmick). They are expensive, but I can promise the cost per use ends up coming out to almost nothing. We have one that was used by my older daughter, her four cousins, and countless adults over the course of the past 18 years, and it’s still going strong! A second one will come in handy for the new baby, of course, but it’ll also be a real blessing as a bonus seat for dinner parties.
I’ve found that you’re either someone who cares way too much about your baby having cute outfits all the time or someone who doesn’t care at all — there’s not a lot of middle ground. As a person who overthinks clothing for living, I fall firmly in the former camp. My husband and I would literally try multiple outfits on our first baby just to take her to the pediatrician. Absurd, in retrospect, but we were having fun.
I knew that the newborn fashion show wouldn’t be a possibility this time around, given that I am now also dressing an opinionated toddler. So: onesies only. My favorites are these Bonpoint velour ones. They’re so soft and warm, and they’re adorable in a classic baby way. The quality is amazing. I have some worn by both my babies that have been hit with milk, umbilical cord blood, and whatever I was eating while holding them, and they still look brand new. They also happen to be ridiculously expensive, so I spent my entire second pregnancy snapping them up every time I saw them at our local baby thrift store or on eBay, Poshmark, and Kidizen.
No matter who you are, postpartum hair weirdness will come for you in one way or another — and probably when you least expect it. The first time around, mine was less hair loss and more hair breakage, giving me the appearance of a set of micro-bangs on the front and back of my head. In an attempt to remedy this, I’ve been taking these since literally the day my daughter was born, and they really do seem to be working.
When my first was a little baby, my husband and I would joke that it was ridiculous that we had to cart her around in this massive stroller when she would have fit in a tote bag. Then I started to notice that the Scandinavian moms all over my Instagram really were carrying their babies in these quasi-tote bags from the Swedish brand Najell. (It’s by no means a new invention: Here’s Ingrid Bergman carrying her twins Isabella and Isotta Rossellini in them in 1952!).
This thing is the best, especially in the newborn days when your baby is kind of floppy and not ready for a baby carrier or a bouncer. We use it a lot if we’re taking our baby into a restaurant or to an appointment — you can just put them on the floor in their own comfortable little bed. It’s also great for taking on trips or to friends’ houses because you know that you’ll have a designated area for your baby to chill and sleep.
Another item inspired by the wisdom of Scandinavian moms. I’ve found a duvet to be infinitely more useful than a receiving blanket in that it actually keeps babies warm, you can spread it out on the floor to use as a play mat, and your kid can use it on their bed throughout their childhood. My older daughter is very attached to hers, which is so sweet.
My fashion-person pride means that I am vehemently opposed to anything labeled as a “diaper bag.” They’re always bulky, overpriced, and fundamentally kind of uncool. I thought I could just get away with using a cute tote bag with some diapers and bottles thrown inside, but after my firstborn somehow threw up into said tote bag multiple times, I started to see the appeal of a designated diaper bag.
Determined to not go the traditional route, I furiously trawled TheRealReal for inspiration and realized that Prada’s nylon Tessuto bags were the solution to my woes. They’re durable, washable, and super cute. I snagged a secondhand lavender mini duffel for like $200, which is less than the cost of any trendy diaper bag I’ve seen, and I don’t feel embarrassed carrying it, which is priceless.
True to form, my older daughter threw up in it the very first time I carried it. It’s been run through the washing machine now and still looks great.
This is the one baby sleep aid that I really stand by. If your baby has been swaddled since birth, it will be really hard for them to fall asleep without anything around them when the time comes to ditch the swaddle. This suit is essentially a wearable duvet that muffles the baby’s startle reflex, allowing them to learn to sleep unswaddled while still preventing them from waking themselves up constantly. Honestly, with my second baby, we’ve skipped swaddles and gone straight to the Magic Merlin Sleepsuit because it works so well. It also passes the cuteness test in that it makes your baby look like a puffy little stuffed animal.
Both of my daughters have slept in a Moses basket, and I am such a minimalist that I thought buying the stand that goes with the basket seemed unnecessary. After months of bending down to get my first baby out of the basket, though, my back began to disagree. We borrowed this stand from our friends for our second, and I now must say it is very much necessary. The rocking feature is soothing, and it’s just the right height to keep our sleeping baby out of reach from her curious sister.
During my first pregnancy, one of my best friends (who is a doula) advised me to buy a formula that I was comfortable with to have on hand before my baby arrived. “Maybe you’ll never even touch it,” she said, “but the last thing you want is to be sleep-deprived and trying to figure out all the different formulas in Duane Reade with a screaming, hungry newborn.” I now pass this advice on to every pregnant friend because it was such a lifesaver for me! I’ve also added my own wisdom to it, which is to choose a preemie formula if the brand you like has one available. They tend to be a bit gentler on new stomachs in those first few days, as they are higher in fat and more similar to colostrum.
I knew I wouldn’t be breastfeeding this time around, so I stocked up on plenty of the formula I like in advance. There is so much conversation in parenting spaces about all the good reasons to choose to breastfeed, but I feel like this has sometimes led to people forgetting that you can also choose to formula feed. I didn’t like how breastfeeding made me feel both physically and mentally, and I love the freedom and flexibility that formula has given our family.
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