Simon Cowell Has a Little Dog Named Seacrest

“It’s rather like having a silly little dog who wants to jump up on your lap and you just swat the dog off. Occasionally in a very stern voice you have to say ‘no.’� —Simon Cowell, on dealing with Ryan Seacrest [People]

“I think the public schools should be talked about every single day. And health care, and jobs. Plus, I don’t give a damn about celebrities. So I’m probably not right for that show.� —Roseanne Barr, on why she isn’t waiting for an invitation to join The View [TV Guide]

“The type of singing that they tend to do on American Idol is what I call ‘sodeling’—the combination of soul and yodeling. The thought that someone would be crooning away and sodeling on one of our songs seemed hilarious to me.� —Modest Mouse front man Isaac Brock, on giving the show permission to use “Float On� [Mercury News]

“Cops do it all the time. They’ll just pull me over to hit on me. It’s really annoying. They’re like, ‘What’s your phone number? Want to go to dinner?’… I have so many cops’ business cards.� —Paris Hilton, on why it’s hard for her to stay out of trouble [NYDN]

“Everyone was acting like [cocaine is] done and it doesn’t exist and yet it was in every bathroom at every party, it was all over the place. And how cool is that?� —Robin Thicke, explaining his song “Cocaine� [SOHH]
—Lindsey Thomas