Tyrades!: ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Gets Nasty

Don’t have time to go to business school? That’s okay. Tyra’s here, baby, and every week she’ll share nuggets of wisdom about how to succeed in your career, as well as in that game we call life.

Today’s lesson: Life’s too short for modesty

“When I asked who had the most top model potential, you were the only girl who didn’t say yourself, and that worries the judges.� —Tyra chastising Dionne for choosing Jaslene as the best contestant

This week our lovely ladies learned about Aboriginal storytelling from a man who looked like an Aboriginal Jerry Garcia. Expressing themselves through movement, spoken word, and puffy paint, the girls told her life stories — the ones we like to call Little Girls With Big Dreams Who Overcame the Odds — except Natasha, who talked about communicating with trees. This made the group decide that her family situation seemed “fake.� (Who lies about being a mail-order bride?) To make matters worse, the Russian delivered her photo shoot with all the charisma of a dead fish. But the judges were more concerned with Dionne’s chronic mean face. They gave her a new reason to scowl and sent her home. It’s a shame they never saw her off-set personality — mean and hilarious. Just a few weeks ago, she cringed at the thought of kissing a girl, saying, “I don’t even kiss my own boyfriend!� Which brings us to this week’s bonus model quote:

“I don’t want to do no damn dance … My boyfriend tries to get me to dance with him all the time and I just do not do it.� —Dionne, who now has plenty of time to not do things with her boyfriend
—Lindsey Thomas