Chef Gordon Ramsay Expounds on the American Legal System

“We were issued a writ because, God bless America, if the toilet paper is not thick enough and you come out with a rash on your arse (you’ll get sued).� —Chef Gordon Ramsay, who faces a lawsuit charging that his reality show was staged [ Daily Mail]

“[My kids] weren’t too happy when the ‘no more Happy Meals’ edict was issued, but I’m not obsessive about food. On my list of fear and anxieties, food isn’t in the top ten thousand. Aside from brains, bladders and a few other nasty things, I’ll pretty much eat it.� —Fast Food Nation author Eric Schlosser [Times Online]

“All I have is a title at this point. It’s called Surrounded by Idiots: Why You Should Be Glad I’m Not Emperor of the World.� —Bruce Campbell, whose previous books were titled If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor and Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way, disclosing the title of his next one [Fangoria]

“When your guy finally tries on something that you like, tell him that he looks like James Bond or Tony Montana. Feel free to be even more vague than that: `Wow, that suit makes you look like that hot football player!’� —Ashton Kutcher on how a girl should react to her man’s style [Harper’s Bazaar via LAT]

“It was a show called Battle Dome. It was like American Gladiators to the tenth power; we were really hurting people.� —Balls of Fury star Terry Crews on his first acting job [Cinematic Happenings Under Development]