quote machine

Kevin Nealon’s Baby Says ‘No’ to Drugs

Photo: Getty Images

“I have one son who is seven months old, and we’ve actually been talking about that a lot lately. I’ve told him time and time again, ‘Just say no.†So he can shake his head ‘no’ now when I wave a doobie — a fake doobie — in front of him. We practice. I say ‘Hey dude, you want some of this?’ And he shakes his head ‘no’. So I don’t think we’ll have to deal with that problem.†—Weeds star Kevin Nealon on talking to his kids about drugs [AV Club]

“New Yorkers need comfort food more than anyone else on the planet! If a restaurant could sell fried chicken, mac and cheese, Xanax and marijuana, they’d stay in business forever.†— Top Chef judge Ted Allen invents Vulture’s ideal restaurant [NYDN]

“It was amazing to watch how the hairdos actually changed in the different markets. You’ve got your local New York anchors — the gals who really could use a little wax on the brow. And it keeps changing all the way to the West Coast, where some of them look like hookers.†—Patricia Heaton on the research she did to play a local news anchor for the upcoming show Back to You [Globe and Mail]

“They had given him their highest level of protection — what they would offer an American president. He also had a food taster and an ambulance following him. I didn’t get any. Just Jamie. They knew him.†—Director Peter Berg on the treatment Jamie Foxx received from the Abu Dhabi government while shooting The Kingdom [Esquire]

“They have technology better than ours, but they didn’t paint like Renoir, they don’t dance like Mick Jagger, they don’t write like Samuel Johnson or William Faulkner. They are envious of us. We have the most beautiful planet — the Rockies, the purple fields of the United States, the Lake District, the Pyrenees, the turquoise seas of the tropics. They don’t have that. They may have gelatinous pools and crystal mountains and they’ve got the technology to flip from planet to planet or dimension to dimension but, you know, Keith Richards didn’t come from there.†— Dan Aykroyd on what life is like on other planets [Guardian]
—Elizabeth Black