Lou Reed: King of Pop?

1. Lou Reed, “Safety Zone�
God bless Lou Reed, the cranky, pissed-off patron saint of New York rock. This strummy track is from the soundtrack to Nanking, a documentary about the Japanese invasion of China in World War II that won awards at this year’s Sundance, and includes the lyric, “rape at the end of a bayonet.� Catchy! [Here Comes the Flood]

2. Smashing Pumpkins, “Taxman� (live Beatles cover)
The live cover starts off well with some blistering guitar work but eventually collapses into pointless noodling and mumbling before Billy Corgan announces, “I don’t even like this song … that’s the end of the show.� [Sonorama]

3. Overdub, “What a Wonderful Surprise�
That rarest of things — a mash-up with a light touch. This track lays Satchmo’s vocals over the top of Radiohead’s melancholic “No Surprises.� [Some Velvet Blog]

4. Riskay, “Smell Yo Dick�
The same old story: boy meets girl, boy stays out all night, girl’s friends send her pix message of boy grinding with stripper up in the club. How does a girl put her mind at ease? She tells boy to “drop your trousers, let me smell yo’ dick.� An instant classic. [brittanybf]

5. The Geek Group, “Mario Bros. Theme�
The Geek Group does the theme song to the signature Nintendo classic, one-upping the geekiness of the Advantage by using glowing Tesla coils instead of regular instruments. Nerdiest. Track. Ever. [Music for Maniacs]
—Ehren Gresehover