Jack Travels: Brobdingnagian actor Jack Black will star as the title character in Fox’s updated version of the Jonathan Swift classic Gulliver’s Travels. Directed by Rob Letterman of Shark Tale, the film tells the story of a travel writer on assignment in Bermuda who washes up on the hidden island of Lilliput, where he finds himself a giant among tiny people. Maybe this is School of Rock 2? [HR]
Still Here: One hundred-and-four-year old action star Sylvester Stallone is set to star in and direct The Expendables, an action flick that he’s written. Also starring with Sly will be Jason Statham and Jet Li. The story centers on a team of mercenaries on a mission to overthrow a South American dictator. So, Barack Obama, if you’re listening, this is how you get rid of Chavez. [Variety]
Kleenex Time: Annette Benning and Naomi Watts are set to star in Mother and Child, a teary drama written and directed by Rodrigo Garcia. The film tells the overlapping stories of a woman who gave up her daughter 35 years ago and another woman, played by Kerry Washington, looking to adopt. Presumably Madonna will make a cameo as a greedy, adoption-line-jumping, baby-stealing celebrity. [Variety]
Totally Surreal: Antonio Banderas is in final negotiations to play Salvador Dalà in indie biopic DalÃ. It’s at least the third Dalà biopic currently in the works, along with Dalà & I: The Surreal Story, starring Al Pacino, and Little Ashes, starring Robert Pattinson. The film will blend music with CGI sequences in an attempt to capture the spirit of DalÃ’s paintings, while also telling the story of how he conquered the wall of every college dorm room in America. [
Show Them The Money: James Van Der Beek and David Denman have signed on for supporting roles in Fox’s pilot Eva Adams. The hour-long show is about a narcissistic sports agent who has a witch’s spell cast on him, turning him into an attractive woman so he can experience the harassment he’s been doling out. Yes, this is the long-awaited TV adaptation of The Hot Chick. [HR]
FINALLY: Former NFL wide receiver and current ESPN commentator Keyshawn Johnson is getting his own A&E reality show. Keyshawn Johnson: Tackling Design will follow Johnson as he attempts the tough task of getting his interior-design business off the ground. This sounds motherfucking awesome. [Variety]