“We were smart when we picked the Amish to characterize every so often because truly they would never have any idea. Maybe that’s cowardly of us, but it works for us. The turnaround time for complaints from the Amish is suitable for a fast-moving TV schedule.†—Mindy Kaling on not worrying about backlash regarding Dwight’s Amish heritage [WP]
“Vee are a young, struggling bandt from Norvay, and vee vant to get signed.†—Metallica’s James Hetfield posing as a random band from Norway at SXSW [MTV]
“National Hockey League went on strike, and it was replaced by fucking poker, and poker did better. You can’t find a hockey game now, so, yeah, I was terrified.†—Kiefer Sutherland on judging the comeback of 24 by the demise of hockey [Sci Fi Wire]
“‘This is the worst story I’ve heard in my whole life. There is no tragedy.’†—Lionel Richie on what Hollywood producers say when they ask about his exciting life [Contact Music]
“We will coordinate our outfits so we don’t clash and maybe I’ll wear pants too.†—Oprah on looking like Ellen DeGeneres for the cover of O magazine [Lifeline Live/USAT]
“My music’s never going to roll over in bed one morning and tell me it doesn’t love me anymore. I have a problem with rejection.†—Lady Gaga on choosing music over marriage [Contact Music]