Avatar comes out on DVD today (happy Earth Day!), but it will be in lowly 2-D. How can watching it on a television in your living room possibly compare to watching it on a towering IMAX screen, where you’re immersed in a 3-D Pandoran forest and surrounded by lush flora and fauna? All is not lost, however — we’ve discovered that you can easily re-create the feeling of being sucked into the world of the Na’vi by adding a few fun and low-budget elements to your at-home viewing experience. It will truly be as if Pandora has come to your home.
• First of all, make yourself a gigantic piña colada. Is Pandora the ultimate tropical island or what? It is.
• Tie an extension cord around your head and let the end hang down like a Na’vi spirit ponytail. Plug yourself into anything you feel like.
• If you have a large magnifying glass, prop it up in front of your TV. If you only have a small magnifying glass, tuck it under the extension cord so it sits over your eye.
• It’s surprisingly easy to make a loincloth out of a plastic bag. It’s also waterproof if you accidentally spill your piña colada on it.
• After you’ve finished a few piña coladas, toss the paper umbrella into the air and let it float down onto you like a tree of life seed pod.
• Once the movie’s over, pour yourself one last piña colada and take the DVD out of the machine. Then look at yourself in the reflection on the back of the disc, sort of blue and rainbow-colored. Nice.
• Then open the window and throw the DVD out like a Frisbee. DVDs are not meant for our planet — let them be free to do as they wish.
• Close your window quickly so no one sees what you’ve done — a lot of people don’t understand DVDs the way you now do.