It’s August and everyone’s on vacation — except the Juggalos. Over the weekend, in what would otherwise have been a very slow week for stupidity, they had their annual gathering. This probably would have charted all by itself, even if it had not degenerated into the first annual Throw Rocks, Bottles, and Excrement at Tila Tequila Gathering. But because it did, it debuts very high on the list, and looks sure to last — eek — just the two more weeks necessary to be one of the summer’s stupidest things. Also debuting this week: a new Katy Perry lyric, a horrible fake vampire movie, piranha-anxiety, and Spencer Pratt: Author. Stupid, we’re almost done with you.
2. This past weekend, Tila Tequila performed at the 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos and had poop and rocks thrown at her. We’re not sure who is worse here: the feces-hurling Juggalos (who also launched projectiles at Method Man), or Tequila, who — besides just being Tila Tequila, and besides pretending to be a singer — agreed to perform in front of a bunch of likely poop-throwers she was warned hated her, and then, after being so obviously wronged by them, immediately tossed out any potential goodwill by going on and on about a lawsuit. All we know for sure: Tila Tequila + Juggalos + doo-doo = stupid.
2. This past weekend, Tila Tequila performed at the 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos and had poop and rocks thrown at her. We’re not sure who is worse here: the feces-hurling Juggalos (who also launched projectiles at Method Man), or Tequila, who — besides just being Tila Tequila, and besides pretending to be a singer — agreed to perform in front of a bunch of likely poop-throwers she was warned hated her, and then, after being so obviously wronged by them, immediately tossed out any potential goodwill by going on and on about a lawsuit. All we know for sure: Tila Tequila + Juggalos + doo-doo = stupid.
3. Mel Gibson.
8. As predicted, the Jersey Shore makes it back on the list this week, but not because of their own mistakes. (Not that they didn’t make those: Pay your parking tickets, Ronnie! Stop annoying people, Snooki!) Oh no, the Jersey Shore returns this week thanks to the embarrassing, if hilarious, strategies of upscale fashion brands, who reportedly take turns sending their competitors’ handbags to the Snookster, in the hopes that she will devalue them. Stay classy, Gucci!
10. The Showgirls 2 trailer and the Titantic 2 trailer are joined by a horrendous comrade: Vampires Suck, which actually came out this week.
6. “Rocket to Uranus.â€
3. Mel Gibson.
8. As predicted, the Jersey Shore makes it back on the list this week, but not because of their own mistakes. (Not that they didn’t make those: Pay your parking tickets, Ronnie! Stop annoying people, Snooki!) Oh no, the Jersey Shore returns this week thanks to the embarrassing, if hilarious, strategies of upscale fashion brands, who reportedly take turns sending their competitors’ handbags to the Snookster, in the hopes that she will devalue them. Stay classy, Gucci!
9. Horror movie Piranha 3D was shot on location at Lake Havasu. The piranha-infested lake is referred to throughout the film as Lake Victoria. Despite this, and the general nonexistence of piranhas in the lakes of Arizona and California, “City officials in the region where the film was shot … are fearful that moviegoers might recognize the vacation spot in the horror film and be led to believe piranhas actually exist in local waters.†Expect stupidity in others, you’ll find stupidity in yourself.
10. The Showgirls 2 trailer and the Titantic 2 trailer are joined by a horrendous comrade: Vampires Suck, which actually came out this week.
1. Katy Perry almost outdoes her “Milk, milk, lemonade, around the back’s where chocolate’s made†lyric with the opening line to “Fireworkâ€: “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?†We eagerly anticipate the inevitable, Internet-provided Katy Perry–American Beauty mash-up. (Which won’t be better than this not at all stupid, plastic-bag nature mockumentry.)
9. Horror movie Piranha 3D was shot on location at Lake Havasu. The piranha-infested lake is referred to throughout the film as Lake Victoria. Despite this, and the general nonexistence of piranhas in the lakes of Arizona and California, “City officials in the region where the film was shot … are fearful that moviegoers might recognize the vacation spot in the horror film and be led to believe piranhas actually exist in local waters.†Expect stupidity in others, you’ll find stupidity in yourself.
Next week, we won’t be here! So, see you in two, when we crown a champion.