Like a film critic supervillain who only grows stronger when faced with a 100 percent full Tomatometer, the New York Press’s Armond White has delivered the pan of The Social Network you knew was coming from him, and it is a doozy. The famously contrarian critic (who also sullied summer smashes like Toy Story 3 and Inception) wrote, “Like one of those fake-smart, middlebrow TV shows, the speciousness of The Social Network is disguised by topicality,†and even got a dig in at nemesis Noah Baumbach, alleging that Jesse Eisenberg’s Mark Zuckerberg “may be the most obnoxious movie protagonist Noah Baumbach didn’t write.†Best of all is the White trademark of unfavorably comparing an acclaimed movie to a forgotten piece of junk (as he did when he found Precious to be no Norbit): If you had put money on the idea that The Social Network would come up short compared to the C. Thomas Howell film Soul Man, it’s time to collect. (The rest of you may want to regroup until December, when White will surely declare that True Grit could learn a thing or two from Wild Wild West.) [New York Press via Movieline]