Due to mismanagement that has mysteriously blown through $3.8 million in funding without even breaking ground on a building site, the Madonna- and Kabbalah Centre International–boosted organization Raising Malawi has canceled plans to open a school for impoverished girls in Malawi. Esther’s not giving up, though! She says in a statement: “There’s a real education crisis in Malawi. Sixty-seven percent of girls don’t go to secondary school, and this is simply unacceptable. Our team is going to work hard to address this in every way we can.†One alternative plan to address the situation that is rumored to already be on the scrap heap: sending Ashton Kutcher to Malawi to hand out Kabbalah bracelets. [NYT]