Nick Offerman Weeps Over the Ron Swanson Turkey Burger

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Given the level of adoration the Ron Swanson Turkey Burger has earned during it’s short time on Earth, it only makes sense that when the A.V. Club asked for Nick Offerman’s reaction to the meat-mountain that bears his avatar’s name, it was one of pure, verbose awe:

  • “I made this burger for Charlie Sheen, and he shook my hand.â€

  • “I was so honored to prepare this burger for Chuck Norris, it made me cry. Until he punched the tears off my face.â€

  • “I’m just glad to finally distract the public from Urkell’s infamous Toffifay inside a Ding Dong.â€

  • “I made one of these for Jesus and he said I was his fantasy of an true American.â€

  • “I foresee a Swanson’s drive-thru, serving only Turkey Leg Burgers, the ‘Swanson’ (bacon-wrapped turkey leg), deviled eggs and Lagavulin Scotch in a to-go cup.â€

  • “I love this meal. My wife gets upset, though, when I eat the bone.â€

  • “This pleases me much. Now please, someone, prepare a Meat Tornado inside a Sirloin.â€

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    Nick Offerman Weeps Over the Ron Swanson Turkey Burger