Podcaster, mustache-haver, and winner of the award for Best Dismissive Noise Made By Pronouncing One’s Initials Paul F. Tompkins was on Conan last night, where he told of his new wife’s cavalier attitude toward hitting young’uns with her car. “Oh, guess what I did earlier? Murdered someone.†Also, if you haven’t seen the clip he shows of two virgins kissing each other for the first time, prepare your barf bag because ugghhh ewwww kissing is gross.