First off, Jack White, no matter how hurt your feelings were, that totally non-attention-grabby one-note White Stripes concert did make it into the Guinness Book of World Records — for one year, in 2009, before they got rid of records like shortest song, shortest concert, and shortest poem. Secondly, dude, you can still get in with those “very elitist†record-deciders if you really want! “We would be extremely pleased if he were to attempt any of the 40,000 records that are currently active on our database,†the Guinness Book tells NME. But because it’s the Guinness Book versus Jack White and because beefs between dead animal collectors and record-seeking tomes don’t go that hard, the Book also adds that “many of us at Guinness World Records are enormous admirers of Mr White’s oeuvre.â€