After sixteen days of events showcasing athleticism of unparalleled quality, the 2012 Games tonight came to an end with an epic closing ceremony at the Olympic Stadium in London. Somehow, tonight’s proceedings made the opening festivities pale in comparison; there was a dazzling (and often bemusing) array of dancing, catwalking (fashion!), and warbling boy bands new and old on display. Oh, and who can forget that giant inflatable octopus? Who can explain that giant inflatable octopus?
Classic British music filled the ceremony, with performances from iconic bands and artists like the Spice Girls (who performed, as spoiled, on glittery taxi cabs), The Who, George Michael, and the Pet Shop Boys as well as by newer artists like Tinie Tempah, Emeli Sandé, and One Direction. (Yes, Jessie J got to sing twice, but the less said about that the better, surely?) Choirs sung, ballet dancers pirouetted, the Brazilian contingent — as hosts of the 2016 Games — put on a bizarre song and dance of their own, and British supermodels including Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Jourdan Dunn, and more emerged from inside billboards on trucks to strut along a catwalk in white and gold gowns. There were lots of emotional video montages showcasing the Games’ highlights, and of course a lengthy segment involving all the athletes who’d taken part walking around the stadium and mugging for the cameras.
It’s fair to say that Brits went wild for the Games — particularly as many of the media’s doom and gloom predictions (and that means you too, Mitt Romney) that forecasted crises here, there, and everywhere failed to come to pass. It didn’t hurt that Team GB won more medals than ever. The enthusiasm, patriotism, and the real sense of fun remained at the forefront of the closing ceremony, if tinged with a little bit of melancholy and a little bit more of Londoners’ typical brusqueness now that things are set to return to normal in the capital. Savor the good times with our slideshow of all the looks, performances, and, of course, the moments that just made no sense.
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The stage is set — with mininature versions of London's most famous landmarks. (A mini fish'n'chips shop is, for some reason, missing from the line-up... The stage is set — with mininature versions of London's most famous landmarks. (A mini fish'n'chips shop is, for some reason, missing from the line-up.) Photo: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
A very unimpressed Kate Middleton: "What do you mean I have to wait an hour and a half to see the Spice Girls? They're the only reason I'm here.&... A very unimpressed Kate Middleton: "What do you mean I have to wait an hour and a half to see the Spice Girls? They're the only reason I'm here." Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2012 Getty Images
A traffic jam. Typical.
Photo: Michael Regan/2012 Getty Images
People should be able to pop out of Big Ben and wave flags in real life, too.
Photo: Stu Forster/2012 Getty Images
Lest we all forget that Prince HENRY was in attendance, he got a big shout-out. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/2012 Getty Images
After being cut from NBC's broadcast of the opening ceremony, Scottish singer Emeli Sandé gets another crack at wowing the American audience wi... After being cut from NBC's broadcast of the opening ceremony, Scottish singer Emeli Sandé gets another crack at wowing the American audience with her soulful vocals. Photo: Mike Hewitt/2012 Getty Images
This is either a rousing modern dance interpretation of last summer's riots, or it's the cast of Stomp. Photo: Stu Forster/Getty Images
Against lots of nicer color-coded street parties, Suggs and Madness perform — the first in a long line of musicians probably old enough to be your Dad... Against lots of nicer color-coded street parties, Suggs and Madness perform — the first in a long line of musicians probably old enough to be your Dad wearing sunglasses when they really needn't be.
Photo: Stu Forster/Getty Images
And there's one of those street parties. If your role in the closing ceremony involves just sitting in a deck chair and watching everything happen aro... And there's one of those street parties. If your role in the closing ceremony involves just sitting in a deck chair and watching everything happen around you, well, that's a pretty sweet deal. Photo: Scott Heavey/Getty Images
It would be the guy in a kilt who gets lifted up and paraded around at such a height that all the folks on the ground would know whether he's gone the... It would be the guy in a kilt who gets lifted up and paraded around at such a height that all the folks on the ground would know whether he's gone the truly Scottish route or not underneath. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/2012 Getty Images
Why not ride origami bicycles? Photo: Clive Brunskill/2012 Getty Images
If Gareth Pugh designed costumes for pantomime villains, they would look like this. Photo: Hannah Johnston/Getty Images
To the sound of thousands of excited teenage girls' screams, One Direction appeared on a truck to perform. And to the sound of thousands of disappoint... To the sound of thousands of excited teenage girls' screams, One Direction appeared on a truck to perform. And to the sound of thousands of disappointed teenage girls' screams, their performance — barely one song long — finished about two minutes later. There was barely enough time to compare their skinny jeans. (Ok, we know Zayn's were the cutest.)
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2012 Getty Images
The flagbearers' parade. Photo: Mike Hewitt/2012 Getty Images
Well, after twenty five minutes spent watching a bunch of tired athletes saunter into the arena, you need a few loud bangs to liven things up against.... Well, after twenty five minutes spent watching a bunch of tired athletes saunter into the arena, you need a few loud bangs to liven things up against. These big fireworks came at the end of the athletes' parade. Photo: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images
This batch of dancers, with their slo-mo running man moves, weas very impressive. Shame about their silly costumes.
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2012 G...This batch of dancers, with their slo-mo running man moves, weas very impressive. Shame about their silly costumes.
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2012 Getty Images
That's a very relieved dance — these performers managed to fit all those white blocks together into a sturdy-looking stage. Photo: Paul Gilham/Getty ...That's a very relieved dance — these performers managed to fit all those white blocks together into a sturdy-looking stage. Photo: Paul Gilham/Getty Images
Yep, still proud that all the pieces fit together properly. And understandably so, becase nobody wants to be the guy broadcast worldwide holding the o... Yep, still proud that all the pieces fit together properly. And understandably so, becase nobody wants to be the guy broadcast worldwide holding the one piece that's left over.
Photo: Julian Finney/Getty Images
A lovely children's choir sang along to John Lennon's "Imagine," ignoring the fact that if we actually did "imagine there's no countrie... A lovely children's choir sang along to John Lennon's "Imagine," ignoring the fact that if we actually did "imagine there's no countries" then the Olympics would be rendered wholly pointless.
Photo: Michael Steele/Getty Images
You can't see it from this angle, but members of the Russian Olympic squad are asking George where he got his delightful crystal skull belt buckle. P...You can't see it from this angle, but members of the Russian Olympic squad are asking George where he got his delightful crystal skull belt buckle. Photo: Stu Forster/Getty Images
Here come the Kaiser Chiefs, escorted by some very British motorcycles. As you can see, they really dressed up for the occasion. Double denim hasn't b... Here come the Kaiser Chiefs, escorted by some very British motorcycles. As you can see, they really dressed up for the occasion. Double denim hasn't been done that well since, gosh, the Canadian team we saw earlier.
Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
Take a guess at what's behind that big Stella Tennant billboard. If you guessed Stella herself, in a gold pantsuit, well then that means you've alread... Take a guess at what's behind that big Stella Tennant billboard. If you guessed Stella herself, in a gold pantsuit, well then that means you've already watched the ceremony.
Photo: Paul Gilham/Getty Images
And look, there she is!
Photo: Scott Heavey/2012 Getty Images
It's Kate! Moss, not Middleton. The duchess is still (rightfully) annoyed about the Spice Girls' slot — Jessie J got more time than the biggest girl g... It's Kate! Moss, not Middleton. The duchess is still (rightfully) annoyed about the Spice Girls' slot — Jessie J got more time than the biggest girl group in British history! Come on now.
Photo: Michael Regan/Getty Images
Needless to say, if anyone other than Kate had tried to walk ahead or even alongside Naomi, they would not have made it far. All the same, this is qui... Needless to say, if anyone other than Kate had tried to walk ahead or even alongside Naomi, they would not have made it far. All the same, this is quite the catwalk line-up — and it was nice of Georgia May Jagger to come along too, we suppose. Photo: Jamie Squire/Getty Images
In the musical segment directly following the all-too-brief catwalk show, Annie Lennox's goth-romantic performance on and around the black skeleton of... In the musical segment directly following the all-too-brief catwalk show, Annie Lennox's goth-romantic performance on and around the black skeleton of an old boat brought far more fashion to the table than that gaggle of supermodels. It's all in the frilly skirts and bustles, you see.
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2012 Getty Images
Well sure, Russell Brand singing about eggmen and walruses on the top of a psychedelic love bus is definitely playing to character. But that doesn't m... Well sure, Russell Brand singing about eggmen and walruses on the top of a psychedelic love bus is definitely playing to character. But that doesn't make it any less skeezy. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
Yep, still creepy. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/2012 Getty Images
This is one of those ideas that got pitched at the end of a very long brainstorming session and then everyone forgot it had been approved until it was... This is one of those ideas that got pitched at the end of a very long brainstorming session and then everyone forgot it had been approved until it was too late to cancel it. Surely? Photo: Rob Carr/2012 Getty Images
In the first of her two performances, Jessie J got driven around the stadium wearing a Vivienne Westwood bodysuit. (Again, Mel B did the all-in-one lo... In the first of her two performances, Jessie J got driven around the stadium wearing a Vivienne Westwood bodysuit. (Again, Mel B did the all-in-one look better.) Photo: Hannah Johnston/2012 Getty Images
So close to achieving the "black tie" dress-code, and yet so far. More unnecessary sunglasses though, but of course. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell...So close to achieving the "black tie" dress-code, and yet so far. More unnecessary sunglasses though, but of course. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
Here's a trapeze artist, because he was totally necessary to the evening's proceedings. Photo: Stu Forster/2012 Getty Images
If only all taxis came like this. Photo: Jamie Squire/Getty Images
Now if Mel B keeps this sort of attire up we'll have to start "who wore the jumpsuit better?" contests between her and J. Lo. Obviously Mel ... Now if Mel B keeps this sort of attire up we'll have to start "who wore the jumpsuit better?" contests between her and J. Lo. Obviously Mel wins, because 1) she's a Spice Girl and 2) she's the Scary one, at that. Well played, Scary. Photo: Hannah Johnston/2012 Getty Images
A very subtle re-imagining of that classic Union Jack dress — with just a hint of the flag's pattern in some pleats around the waist. Well played, Gin... A very subtle re-imagining of that classic Union Jack dress — with just a hint of the flag's pattern in some pleats around the waist. Well played, Ginger.
Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
Quite simply as cute as ever. Well played, Baby.
Photo: Mike Hewitt/2012 Getty Images
A huge improvement on the neon Adidas tracksuits and scrunchies. Well played, Sporty.
Photo: Hannah Johnston/Getty Images
Let's be honest, everyone's just thrilled Victoria agreed to participate. Well played, Posh. Photo: Julian Finney/2012 Getty Images
Another gratutious shot of the girls all back together. Make these reunions a monthly thing, please.
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2012 Getty Images
The Spice Girls are a tough act for anyone to follow, sure. But a Gallagher brother, really? Aside from the nasally mess of a vocal, he hasn't even bo... The Spice Girls are a tough act for anyone to follow, sure. But a Gallagher brother, really? Aside from the nasally mess of a vocal, he hasn't even bothered to comb his hair. A Spice Girls lyric comes to mind, in fact: "Stop right now, thank you very much, I need somebody who's familiar with the term grooming." (And to think, that could have been a performance. What a tragic missed opportunity.)
Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
No idea about this. None whatsoever — and to be fair, even the lady fake-flying it doesn't look sure. Photo: Julian Finney/2012 Getty Images
WHY ISN'T THIS AN OLYMPIC SPORT? Photo: Scott Heavey/2012 Getty Images
Ice-skating nuns! Before you even start to think, "huh?," remember, it doesn't matter, because... they're ice-skating nuns.
Photo: Jeff J M...Ice-skating nuns! Before you even start to think, "huh?," remember, it doesn't matter, because... they're ice-skating nuns.
Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
Oh yes, and after bringing in a very talented Indian dance troupe, it was time for "funny old man" Eric Idle to dance along and mock the cul... Oh yes, and after bringing in a very talented Indian dance troupe, it was time for "funny old man" Eric Idle to dance along and mock the culture just a little. That'd be the evening's dose of mild British xenophobia for you — something for the Daily Mail's readers to talk about tomorrow over tea. Photo: Scott Heavey/Getty Images
Matt Bellamy of Muse somehow manages to retain his rocker credentials while performing in a sequin-covered suit. That's impressive. Photo: Jamie Squi...Matt Bellamy of Muse somehow manages to retain his rocker credentials while performing in a sequin-covered suit. That's impressive. Photo: Jamie Squire/2012 Getty Images
Brian May, wearing Phil Spector's hair. Conditioner, meet Brian — you two need to get better acquainted. Photo: Scott Heavey/2012 Getty Images
And with this grandoise little segment, the flag officially passed from London's Mayor Boris Johnson to the current Mayor of Rio de Janeiro. Boris had... And with this grandoise little segment, the flag officially passed from London's Mayor Boris Johnson to the current Mayor of Rio de Janeiro. Boris had asked to do this on zip lines, but for some reason his request got denied.
Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/2012 Getty Images
A tap dancing street cleaner: sure, why not?
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2012 Getty Images
A dress made out of umbrellas. Could the Brazilians be mocking the British climate just a little?
Photo: Michael Regan/Getty Images
Also from the Brazilian showcase: lemon yellow-colored zebra print skinny jeans. This sort of thing says Rio means business. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/G...Also from the Brazilian showcase: lemon yellow-colored zebra print skinny jeans. This sort of thing says Rio means business. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
Yes, that's Brazilian supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio front and center. In four years' time, there will no doubt be a Brazilian fashion show to rival t... Yes, that's Brazilian supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio front and center. In four years' time, there will no doubt be a Brazilian fashion show to rival the Brits'. And there will definitely be more bikinis.
Photo: Stu Forster/2012 Getty Images
London's Olympic flame, all 204 holders, gracefully drop from their upright positions to prepare for the snuffing. (But not before a phoenix rises fro... London's Olympic flame, all 204 holders, gracefully drop from their upright positions to prepare for the snuffing. (But not before a phoenix rises from among them! A pirouetting phoenix at that. Fawkes would be proud.) Photo: Michael Regan/2012 Getty Images
It may have been a long time coming, but the ballet segment didn't disappoint. This is "supporting cast of The Lion King on Broadway" fierce... It may have been a long time coming, but the ballet segment didn't disappoint. This is "supporting cast of The Lion King on Broadway" fierceness. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
Some nice fireworks to finish everything up. Everybody loves fireworks! Yay, London.
Photo: Phil Walter/Getty Images
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