‘The Onion’s Joe Biden Beats Paul Ryan and the Real Biden at the Debate

Beloved Onion character “Vice President Joe Biden� live-tweeted real-life person Joe Biden and real-life Republican Paul Ryan’s big debate last night, and the results were pretty glorious. The Onion also covered the debate last night, with a series of stories about “Joe Biden� and his debate behavior, which involved vomiting onstage, having his rowdy friends removed from the debate hall by security, and made out with Janna Ryan in front of a slew of spectators, concluding the whole thing in a surprisingly heartfelt speech:

“‘Over the years I have been made an object of mockery and ridicule. I have seen pictures of me in the most humiliating positions you can think of plastered across newspapers all over the world. I have been treated as a punch line. A dope. A fuckin’ jester among kings. But don’t be fooled. I am also a man who has touched sorrow. And I am a son of a bitch who has spent nearly seven decades on the razor’s edge and lived to tell the tale. I may not say it often, and I may never say it again, but I wish to say to you now that I am also a man worthy of love. And worthy of respect.�Thank you all so damn much,’ Biden added. ‘I just…I love this country, man.’�

Here are some of The Onion’s best Biden tweets from last night:

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/OnionPolitics/status/256547264934326272�]

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/OnionPolitics/status/256564272107229184�]

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/OnionPolitics/status/256567983697186818�]

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/OnionPolitics/status/256579518519721984�]

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/OnionPolitics/status/256584328941801472�]