The Winner of the Beatles Holiday Parody Contest Is …

“Commenter winning in the dead of night … � Okay, and that will be the last Beatles parody of the season. Last week, we had you submit your best worst Beatles parody lyrics for a chance to win the Beatles’ Studio Album Vinyl Remasters Boxed Set. Some submissions were bad-good, some good-bad, some even were good-good, and luckily none were bad-bad. And the winner is …

Well, first, here are the runner-ups:

STUMBLESOJOURN
(In the style of “Drive My Car�) 

Asked a Roman what she wanted to be 
She said a virgin, from Nazarene 
I said, you don’t have to get with me 
But I can still impregnate you with the King of Kings 
 
Mary, you can birth The Lord, 
Soon he’ll be nailed to a board 
Mary, you can birth The Lord 
And Catholics will love you 
 
Kyrie Eleison, Yeah! 

TWOHUNDREDANDTWENTYFIVE:
(In the style of “Why Don’t We Do it in the Road?�)

Why don’t we do it in the road? 
Why don’t we do it in the road? 
Why don’t we do it in the road? 
Why don’t we do it in the road? 
Santa will be watching us. 
Why don’t we do it in the road?

GOODTIMEKID:
(In the style of “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds�) 

Picture yourself in a house by the chimney 
With cookies and milk and stockings hung high. 
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly 
Your mom says it’s time for good night. 
 
Sugarplum visions of cake and ice cream 
Dancing around in your head 
Look for the man with the fat in his thighs 
And he’s gone. 
 
Santa in the sky with reindeer X3 
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh 
 
Follow him up to the roof by the chimney 
Where 8 tiny reindeer are ready to fly 
Nobody sees as you sneak past the towers 
of gifts so incredibly high. 
 
Santa is calling each reindeer by name 
They’re ready to take you away 
Climb in the back with your heart in your throat 
and you’re gone. 
 
Chorus 
 
Picture yourself on a sleigh in the nighttime 
With Furbies and Legos and green army guys 
Suddenly Santa turns round and he sees you 
The man with the fat in his thighs. 

WHERES_WALDO_R_EMERSON
(In the style of “I Am the Walrus�) 

i am he, 
as you are he 
and you are me 
and we are all santa 
 
see at the mall 
with his reindeer pals 
see how they fly … youre crying 
sitting on his fat knee, asking for a bb gun 
 
red rider pistol, stupid bloody 
eyeball, man you been a naughty boy 
you shot your eye out. 
 
i am the ralphie, they are the ralphie 
i am in a pink bunny suit, coo coo ca choo

ROSIEREAL
(In the style of “Revolution 9�) 

Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmastime, Christmas

But the winner is … JPART1:
(In the style of “Eight Days a Week�)

Ooh, I need some oil, babe 

To cook these latkes right 
Hope you’ve got some candles, babe 
For this festival of light. 
 
Mold them, fry them 
Pat them, dry them. 
 
Ain’t got nothin’ but schmaltz, babe 
Eight days of grease.

Thank you again, everyone who submitted lyrics. Happy holidays and we’ll talk again whenever we have a Rolling Stones parody contest (“I can’t get no Santa-faction�).