Fug Girls: Best, Worst, and Weirdest of the MTV Movie Awards
Photo: Getty Images
As we watched the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday night, where jarringly heartfelt and serious acceptance speeches popped up amid prizes for film’s best kissing and greatest shirtless work, we found ourselves wondering, “… When did everyone forget that this show started out as a parody?” And indeed, judging from the red carpet, it appears a lot of people are confused as to what, exactly, the MTV Movie Awards is supposed to be. We rounded up some of the night’s noteworthy duds — in several senses of the word — and tried to suss out precisely which show that person thought they were dressing to attend.
Zoe Saldana What: An incredibly perplexing Givenchy maxi-dress that appears to be part-Lycra, part-wallpaper, and part gangrene.
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Where she t...
Zoe Saldana What: An incredibly perplexing Givenchy maxi-dress that appears to be part-Lycra, part-wallpaper, and part gangrene.
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Where she thought she was going: The Council for Fashion Designers Awards (CFDAs), a.k.a., exactly the place to wear something bizarre so as to elicit the response, “Oh, but it’s so directional.”
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/2013 Getty Images
Kylie Minogue What: A Paco Rabanne meshfest, which surprised us because until now we associated that name only with super-cheesy cologne.
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Wh...
Kylie Minogue What: A Paco Rabanne meshfest, which surprised us because until now we associated that name only with super-cheesy cologne.
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Where she thought she was going: The MTV Video Music Awards, if only because she looks like the Moonman’s stripper girlfriend.
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/2013 Getty Images
Jenni Farley What: Some overly fancy silver strapless formal number, paired with a diamond — or, more likely, "diamond" — choker and an...
Jenni Farley What: Some overly fancy silver strapless formal number, paired with a diamond — or, more likely, "diamond" — choker and an updo.
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Where she thought she was going: Seriously, dude, it's not the Emmys. It's never going to be the Emmys.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Kerry Washington What: A two-tone, multi-level Michael Kors dress that feels a like it's having an identity crisis.
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Where she thought she wa...
Kerry Washington What: A two-tone, multi-level Michael Kors dress that feels a like it's having an identity crisis.
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Where she thought she was going: The Daytime Emmys, to present a Lifetime Achievement Award to Big Bird. (Surely it would be rude to do that in any other color, and we live by the rule, “Never Disrespect Massive Poultry.”)
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Chloe Grace Moretz What: An all-denim Louis Vuitton number. All-denim is basically only a good idea if you are Justin Timberlake and Britney Spea...
Chloe Grace Moretz What: An all-denim Louis Vuitton number. All-denim is basically only a good idea if you are Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears and you are finally reuniting and/or having a dance-off.
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Where she thought she was going: The Teen Choice Awards. Circa 1992.
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/2013 Getty Images
Quvenzhané Wallis What: Her usual blend of 9-year old cuteness, brightness, and sparkle — plus that signature pooch purse.
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Where she ...
Quvenzhané Wallis What: Her usual blend of 9-year old cuteness, brightness, and sparkle — plus that signature pooch purse.
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Where she thought she was going: Let’s say the Kids’ Choice Awards — but basically, you could plug in the words, “Whatever Awards Show Wasn’t Going to Feature Endless and Often Visually Aided Jokes About Genitalia and Pubic Hair.”
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/2013 Getty Images
Ke$ha What: More like, “What?!?!?!”
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Where she thought she was going: Well, she looks like a witch who’s just discovered the sixtie...
Ke$ha What: More like, “What?!?!?!”
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Where she thought she was going: Well, she looks like a witch who’s just discovered the sixties, so ... the Coachellies? We know that’s not a real thing, but frankly, it’s easier to imagine that this outfit’s intended context was completely fictional — and we try to cope with Coachella fashion by pretending it’s all just a hallucination anyway, so there you go.
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/2013 Getty Images
Hana Mae Lee What: The Pitch Perfect actress chose a fascinator shaped like a giant snuffed-out cigarette butt, which ... we guess is better than...
Hana Mae Lee What: The Pitch Perfect actress chose a fascinator shaped like a giant snuffed-out cigarette butt, which ... we guess is better than a giant still-smoking actual cigarette butt.
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Where she thought she was going: The Eurovision Song Contest. Sure, it’s not an awards ceremony, but there is at least a winner, not to mention a lot of people in inexplicable headgear. She’d practically pass unnoticed.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Alan Ritchson What: We suspect the shoes are the only things here that fit the Hunger Games: Catching Fire star the way the maker intended.
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...
Alan Ritchson What: We suspect the shoes are the only things here that fit the Hunger Games: Catching Fire star the way the maker intended.
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Where he thought he was going: The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards. Because this looks like the effort of someone who isn’t completely sure how clothes work.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Selena Gomez What: A super-short and spangly gold Julien Macdonald, replete with illusion netting.
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Where she thought she was going: to perfo...
Selena Gomez What: A super-short and spangly gold Julien Macdonald, replete with illusion netting.
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Where she thought she was going: to perform her long program at the World Figure Skating Championships — where, come to think of it, she might have won “Most Decorous.”
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/2013 Getty Images
Ashley Rickards What: Ugh. We don't even know. Whatever this is, she's much cuter than it is. Ashley is excellent on Awkward, so maybe help a gir...
Ashley Rickards What: Ugh. We don't even know. Whatever this is, she's much cuter than it is. Ashley is excellent on Awkward, so maybe help a girl out, MTV.
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Where she thought she was going: The Junior Achievement Awards Banquet to receive her plaque for excellence in teen entrepreneurialism.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Snoop "ex-Dogg" Lion What: Pants, a big fuzzy jacket, and some well-deployed bling — in other words, exactly what you imagine Snoop Dog...
Snoop "ex-Dogg" Lion What: Pants, a big fuzzy jacket, and some well-deployed bling — in other words, exactly what you imagine Snoop Dogg (sorry, he’ll always be canine to us) is wearing approximately 75 percent of the time.
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Where he thought he was going: The MTV Movie Awards. Thank God someone read the invitation.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
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