How to Stage a Bikini Photo Op: An Illustrated Guide
Spring has arrived! So suggests the recent reemergence of the crocuses of the tabloids: bikini-clad celebrities feigning nonchalance while striking poses for the paparazzi. Lindsay Lohan’s first bikini of the season arrived on Tuesday: a low-cut, cobalt two-piece that flaunted her beach body and, um, bruises. (Iron deficiency? Run-in with a thigh-level pugilist?) But the art of the fake-casual beach photo shoot is not for the paparazzi novice. There are nips to slip. Derrieres to air. Wardrobes to malfunction. Let us look to the modern masters of the form — Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Paz de la Huerta — to better understand the art of the bikini flaunt.
Here are the fifteen highly effective bikini-flaunting tactics of celebrities, all from paparazzi photo shoots that found their way into magazines and onto gossip blogs in recent years.
1. Choose a Good Outfit To ensure that the money shot includes her smize, Kim Kardashian drapes a robe over her famous butt. (Not that the photog...
1. Choose a Good Outfit To ensure that the money shot includes her smize, Kim Kardashian drapes a robe over her famous butt. (Not that the photographers won't try to get it, anyway.) Blown-out hair, smoky eyes, and a waist-cinching beach belt complete the look.
Photo: Splash News
2. Attract Some Attention Audrina Patridge, performing a totally normal exercise routine involving a string bikini and a hula hoop on a beach in ...
2. Attract Some Attention Audrina Patridge, performing a totally normal exercise routine involving a string bikini and a hula hoop on a beach in Los Angeles.
Photo: ZO5/ZJUP/EXP/WENN.com
3. Feign Nonchalance, Even in Full Makeup Nothing to see here, just Rihanna in magenta lipstick and hoop earrings, stretched out on a flotation d...
3. Feign Nonchalance, Even in Full Makeup Nothing to see here, just Rihanna in magenta lipstick and hoop earrings, stretched out on a flotation device, her perfect butt glistening in the sun.
Photo: Splash News
4. Feign Nonchalance, Even in a Headpiece "Oh, this? It's what I wear when I don't even care what I look like."
Photo: Splash Ne...
4. Feign Nonchalance, Even in a Headpiece "Oh, this? It's what I wear when I don't even care what I look like."
Photo: Splash News
5. Flaunt What You've Got And if what you've got is "a number of large bruises," "unmissable," perhaps from "ducking und...
5. Flaunt What You've Got And if what you've got is "a number of large bruises," "unmissable," perhaps from "ducking under tables at a nightclub" or "another late-night altercation"? That's fine, it will "spark controversy."
Photo: AKM Images / GSI Media
6. Wardrobe Malfunctions Help If the presence of your derriere isn't enough, on its own, to incite a sex riot, then pull an Aubrey O'Day and try ...
6. Wardrobe Malfunctions Help If the presence of your derriere isn't enough, on its own, to incite a sex riot, then pull an Aubrey O'Day and try a wardrobe malfunction.
Photo: Splash News
7. Lesser Celebrities Requires Bigger Malfunctions Jennifer Nicole Lee, "fitness model," demonstrates that in a paparazzi hot zone you ...
7. Lesser Celebrities Requires Bigger Malfunctions Jennifer Nicole Lee, "fitness model," demonstrates that in a paparazzi hot zone you don't need to be famous to be photographed, you just need to commit. Yes, she changed out of her bikini and into a t-shirt for an outdoor shower.
Photo: Splash News
8. Don't Be Afraid to Multitask Not only did Paz de la Huerta change into a bra in the middle of a parking lot, but she did the whole thing with ...
8. Don't Be Afraid to Multitask Not only did Paz de la Huerta change into a bra in the middle of a parking lot, but she did the whole thing with a lit cigarette in one hand. Afterwards, she changed into panties in the same parking lot. Feel free to gape in awe.
Photo: Splash News
9. Staging Is Key Spice Girl Melanie B. manages a picture with her baby, her butt, her Olympian husband touching her butt, and her Olympian husba...
9. Staging Is Key Spice Girl Melanie B. manages a picture with her baby, her butt, her Olympian husband touching her butt, and her Olympian husband's abs all in the frame. Did I mention these photos were taken in a private yard?
10. Find the Light The full photo set shows model Candice Swanepoel sitting, at first, under an umbrella. She makes eye contact with the photogra...
10. Find the Light The full photo set shows model Candice Swanepoel sitting, at first, under an umbrella. She makes eye contact with the photographer. She smiles. She gathers her items, walks to a clearing in sunlight, then spins in circles as she sexily clothes herself.
Photo: Splash News
11. Flex Your Abs At left, Kellan Lutz at ease. At right, Kellan Lutz at work, squeezing his abs with every ounce of strength he's got as he walk...
11. Flex Your Abs At left, Kellan Lutz at ease. At right, Kellan Lutz at work, squeezing his abs with every ounce of strength he's got as he walks toward a paparazzo.
Photo: Splash News
12. Point Your Toes Although it's possible Janice Dickinson had plastic surgery to install invisible high heels on the bottoms of her feet, to el...
12. Point Your Toes Although it's possible Janice Dickinson had plastic surgery to install invisible high heels on the bottoms of her feet, to elongate her legs.
Photo: Splash News
13. Frame Your Face with a Prop Or perhaps Alessandra Ambrosio's daughter is a seashell, and she's listening to the ocean.
Photo: Splash News
14. Make Sure They Spell Your Name Right To maintain name exposure during a moment of fleshly exposure, "Italian glamour model Claudia Roman...
14. Make Sure They Spell Your Name Right To maintain name exposure during a moment of fleshly exposure, "Italian glamour model Claudia Romani" bends over in a thong bikini with CLAUDIA printed on the ass.
Photo: Splash News
15. When In Doubt, Add Boobs "Criminal Minds star Shemar Moore" not a good enough "sell"? How about "Topless bikini babe...
15. When In Doubt, Add Boobs "Criminal Minds star Shemar Moore" not a good enough "sell"? How about "Topless bikini babe magnet Shemar Moore"? Yeah, you knew The Daily Mail would bite.
Photo: Splash News
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