Happy ten-year anniversary, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica. It’s been a full decade since MTV took us inside the insipid lives of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson; the August 19 pilot gave us “chicken of the sea,†and from then on there was no looking back. Still, despite that infamous moment and flashes of Simpson’s overspending and her parents’ chronic meddling, there was a surprising sense of normalcy and gentle sweetness to much of the first season.
But reality TV comes at a cost. And as Nick and Jessica taught us, that cost is usually one celebrity marriage. Here’s how some other celebreality couples fared in their wake, from longest lasting following the end of their show to shortest. (A note on methodology: This only includes shows about couples or families in which at least one member of the couple was already famous in some capacity; marriage end-dates are when one partner filed for divorce, not when the divorce was finalized.)
Adrianne Curry and Christopher Knight, My Fair Brady
Length of marriage: May 2006–August 2011
Length of TV show: September 2005–March 2008
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Three years, five months
Both Curry and Knight had been on reality shows before this one — hell, they met on The Surreal Life — so while other couples were probably shaken by the lack of privacy reality TV affords, they seemed less so. Not that it mattered, really.
Deion Sanders and Pilar Biggers, Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love
Length of Marriage: May 1999–September 2011
Length of TV show: April 2008–June 2008
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Three years, three months
The show itself was pretty boring. The divorce, however, was very acrimonious and took years to finalize.
Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro, ’Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave
Length of marriage: November 2003–August 2006
Length of TV show: January 2004–March 2004 (miniseries)
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Two years, five months
Man, it really seemed like those two were a good match! Unfortunately, their one-off show only covered their wedding planning and not their heavily eye-linered marriage.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Length of marriage: September 2004–November 2006
Length of TV show: May 2005–June 2005 (miniseries)
Time between end of show and end of marriage: One year, five months
This is probably the weirdest show on this list: Britney and Kevin shot the footage themselves, and thus the show was only marginally coherent.
Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, Being Bobby Brown
Length of marriage: July 1982–September 2006
Length of TV show: June 2005–December 2005
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Nine months
It’s hard to imagine that this show was what ended things between Bobby and Whitney, given their often contentious history and mutual drug abuse. But the show did present an appallingly unflattering portrait of former pop-culture royalty.
Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica
Length of marriage: October 2002–December 2005
Length of TV show: August 2003–March 2005
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Nine months
Were we ever so innocent? Newlyweds came on the heels of The Osbournes, at a time when it seemed like reality TV could merely show us the quirkier side of celebrity.
Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy, Bethenny Ever After
Length of Marriage: March 2010–January 2013
Length of TV show: June 2010–May 2012
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Eight months
There aren’t any other Real Housewives on this list, since those shows don’t meet our criteria, but trust: A whole bunch of them got divorced during and after their appearances on the various franchises. Bethenny just happened to be one of the few with a spinoff series.
Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler, Meet the Barkers
Length of marriage: October 2004–August 2006, but they were on-and-off until the end of 2008 or so
Length of TV show: April 2005–February 2006
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Six months, but again, they kept getting back together
If you’re making a 2005 time capsule, put this show in it. There are TRL appearances, flip phones galore, and so much chitchat about MySpace you’ll wonder how we ever endured this era.
Danny Bonaduce and Gretchen Hillmer, Breaking Bonaduce
Length of marriage: November 1994–April 2007
Length of TV show: September 2005–December 2006
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Four months
Like Hogan, Breaking Bonaduce ushered in the end of a pretty long marriage. Unlike Hogan, Bonaduce was jarring and sad from the get-go, and more than wanting to watch the show, we wanted to get everyone into more and better therapy.
Hulk and Linda Hogan, Hogan Knows Best
Length of marriage: December 1983–November 2007
Length of TV show: July 2005–October 2007
Time between end of show and end of marriage: One month
At first, Hogan was pretty charming. By the end, though, the writing was on the bleached-and-bandana’d wall, and in the months after the show ended, the family seemingly imploded.
Evelyn Lozada and Chad “Ochocinco†Johnson, Ev & Chad
Length of marriage: July 2012–August 2012
Length of TV show: Did not air as scheduled on account of the divorce
Time between end of show and end of marriage: Negative one day.
VH1 announced on August 13 that the show would not air, and Lozada filed for divorce on the 14th. This is how bonkers the divorce curse became; it started causing marital strife before the show even aired. (Chad Johnson was arrested for assaulting Lozada, hence VH1 pulling the plug.)