The Fug Girls: Best, Worst, and Weirdest Looks at the 2013 Emmys
Awards season never truly leaves us — thanks to approximately two thousand different country music awards and the continuing efforts of MTV — but it certainly goes into hibernation during the summer. Well, summer’s over now — and it’s extra apt that this year’s Emmys were held on the official first day of fall, because it’s time for some of the actors who popped up on the red carpet to get schooled. Join us as we take out our red pen and look at some of this year’s most noteworthy looks from Emmy red carpet.
Biggest Scandal The thing with Kerry Washington is, even when she wears something we don’t like, she usually at least looks sophisticated doing i...
Biggest Scandal The thing with Kerry Washington is, even when she wears something we don’t like, she usually at least looks sophisticated doing it. This Marchesa is desperately disappointing, with a skirt that looks like an abandoned bedspread from a Paris Hilton for Pottery Barn collection. If Olivia Pope were real, she would be swinging into damage-control mode right now.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Worst Fit We salute Claire Danes's bob – faux, or otherwise – and we're grateful that she's possibly the only actor at the Emmys who wore lipstic...
Worst Fit We salute Claire Danes's bob – faux, or otherwise – and we're grateful that she's possibly the only actor at the Emmys who wore lipstick at all. But this dress is what would happen if Abu Nazir were a shape shifter who chose to take the form of a red-carpet gown, and whatever it’s doing to her chest should be classified as a terrorist act.
Photo: Frazer Harrison/2013 Getty Images
Best Ottoman There's a delightful ballsiness that comes with wearing a pattern at an awards show, and Lena Dunham’s innate sass might have pulled...
Best Ottoman There's a delightful ballsiness that comes with wearing a pattern at an awards show, and Lena Dunham’s innate sass might have pulled this off if it were shorter. As is, though, we wish she’d blown us away with something a tad less ambitious, and left this at our house so we could put our feet on it while we type.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Worst Surprise Oh, Leslie Mann, no. From the thighs up, this is an unabashed, glorious hit. From the thighs down, it's a shower curtain.
Photo: ...
Worst Surprise Oh, Leslie Mann, no. From the thighs up, this is an unabashed, glorious hit. From the thighs down, it's a shower curtain.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Most Improved Christina Hendricks has been done wrong by black dresses before, but Christian Siriano nailed it for her this time. It’s simple, gr...
Most Improved Christina Hendricks has been done wrong by black dresses before, but Christian Siriano nailed it for her this time. It’s simple, graceful, elegant, and above all, perfectly fitted to her famous curves. In other words, our cups runneth over because hers do not.
Photo: Frazer Harrison/2013 Getty Images
Most Frustrating This Honor gown was custom-made for Zosia Mamet. Maybe that’s why she didn’t have the heart to tell anyone to rip off the dickey...
Most Frustrating This Honor gown was custom-made for Zosia Mamet. Maybe that’s why she didn’t have the heart to tell anyone to rip off the dickey that’s turning her boobs into the head of a Storm Trooper. It would have been strikingly pretty without it; as-is, it’s just a strike.
Photo: Frazer Harrison/2013 Getty Images
Person From Whom We Most Ardently Want Better Amy Poehler is awesome, and we adore her. Surely someone, somewhere, had something better for her t...
Person From Whom We Most Ardently Want Better Amy Poehler is awesome, and we adore her. Surely someone, somewhere, had something better for her than this unflattering little black number, which manages to be both bland and weird at the same time. Even worse, on the live pre-show with Ryan Seacrest, the bond of a hair extension was poking out of the side of her head. Did Amy accidentally give all her Glam Squad the night off? At least have a neighbor come over and give you a look-over, girl. Hell, we'll come over and do it.
The Most, Period We’re not sure why Julie Bowen felt the need to wear so much stuff all over her, up to and including those fully ruffled dress s...
The Most, Period We’re not sure why Julie Bowen felt the need to wear so much stuff all over her, up to and including those fully ruffled dress straps. Bowen is many things, but frilly and twee aren’t among them. We decided she lost a bet with Sofia Vergara and this is her punishment.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2013 Getty Images
Most Mind-Numbing We were over the black-on-nude trend two years ago. So we cannot imagine why Aubrey Plaza even looked twice at this smotheringl...
Most Mind-Numbing We were over the black-on-nude trend two years ago. So we cannot imagine why Aubrey Plaza even looked twice at this smotheringly strange version that feigns primness — but is actually weirdly pornographic on her torso. Can we assume it’s blackmailing her? Is 2013 the year everyone’s clothes bite back?
Photo: Frazer Harrison/2013 Getty Images
Most Bland This is a custom Givenchy, per January Jones herself. Do you think it's possible that the people over at Givenchy misheard her and sin...
Most Bland This is a custom Givenchy, per January Jones herself. Do you think it's possible that the people over at Givenchy misheard her and sincerely thought they were supposed to be making musty curtains for her Nana's guest room? Because that appears to be what she's wearing.
Photo: Frazer Harrison/2013 Getty Images
Most Comfortable Well, we can’t imagine Connie Britton’s snug, ornate velvet gown was actually all that snuggly to wear, but it sure would look s...
Most Comfortable Well, we can’t imagine Connie Britton’s snug, ornate velvet gown was actually all that snuggly to wear, but it sure would look swell in the corner of our living room — as the covering of a chaise longue, on which we will prostrate ourselves while Jon Hamm fans us and feeds us lovingly peeled grapes.
Photo: Steve Granitz/2013 Steve Granitz
1
/
11