Fug Girls: The Best, Worst, and Most Random Met Gala Looks
Photo: Getty Images
Maybe we say this every year, but that’s because it’s true every time: Last night’s Met Gala red carpet was an utterly random collection of getups. That’s possibly because of this year’s more obscure and less campy theme (we’re fairly sure Rihanna did not Google “Charles James” before getting dressed), but mostly we suspect that designers and celebs alike are finally far enough removed from the hot glare of awards season to miss it, and thus they’re going to serve us whatever they’re most hungry to dish out. Last night, that made for an amazing Vegas-style buffet: glittering pantsuits, Old Hollywood glam, see-through robes, a feathered diaper, a dash of argyle, and a battle station with enough firepower to destroy an entire planet. Join us as we hand out a plethora of superlatives to the best, the worst, and the most brain-bending outfits from last night.
Best May the Fourth Leftovers: Kirsten Dunst This Rodarte number is nuttier than a squirrel's sublet, but on some level, isn't wearing a dress im...
Best May the Fourth Leftovers: Kirsten Dunst This Rodarte number is nuttier than a squirrel's sublet, but on some level, isn't wearing a dress imprinted with the Death Star to a party hosted by Anna Wintour some incredibly brave sartorial shade? It may, in fact, have been enough to cause a disturbance in The Force. As if a thousand voices — we'll stop.
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Best Rebound: Kim Kardashian Kimmy's upholstered baby bump and matching gloves from last year clearly were not the Met Gala debut she wanted to m...
Best Rebound: Kim Kardashian Kimmy's upholstered baby bump and matching gloves from last year clearly were not the Met Gala debut she wanted to make; this year, she nixed the Givenchy and picked a more sophisticated, simpler blue Lanvin. It's got a whiff of Jolie Leg Syndrome, but it's not going to make her a laughingstock this morning — and at this point, with Vogue subscribers chasing her with lit torches, isn't "not a laughingstock" 80 percent of her motivation for anything?
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Adorably Corniest:
Sarah Jessica Parker You have to give SJP major credit for adhering to theme and obviously having a great time. She is a...
Adorably Corniest:
Sarah Jessica Parker You have to give SJP major credit for adhering to theme and obviously having a great time. She is always a pro: She shows up early, poses for photos, wears something into which she's clearly put a ton of thought and which is completely on point for the event. Could you argue that the signature on her train, her totally wacky hair, and all those accessories push her over into Crackpot Town? Probably. But we won't, because we want to encourage similar behavior from others.
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Almost There: Rihanna This particular top is about 40 percent too cropped, with nipple darts that are 70 percent too clumsy. But the margins...
Almost There: Rihanna This particular top is about 40 percent too cropped, with nipple darts that are 70 percent too clumsy. But the margins of this white Stella McCartney dress? Aces.
Best Return: Blake Lively We almost gave this "Best Accessory," because Blake is so rarely seen with hubby Ryan Reynolds on the red car...
Best Return: Blake Lively We almost gave this "Best Accessory," because Blake is so rarely seen with hubby Ryan Reynolds on the red carpet. But then we realized Blake is rarely seen by herself on a red carpet these days either, and we are so pleased that she returned to one in such sparkling form. Her golden Gucci and golden tresses make her a golden goddess — and she went for a bold lipstick where so many would have gone neutral. Welcome back, B. (Or S., as it were.)
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Best Repurposed Ikea Sheets:
Maggie Gyllenhaal Somewhere in Italy, everyone at Valentino is high-fiving over having finally figured out wha...
Best Repurposed Ikea Sheets:
Maggie Gyllenhaal Somewhere in Italy, everyone at Valentino is high-fiving over having finally figured out what to with all those extra bed linens they bought that time they got drunk during Buy One, Get One.
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Prettiest in Pink:
Emma Stone Her Thakoon two-piece is inching very, very close to being a skirt and a sports bra. Luckily, it toes th...
Prettiest in Pink:
Emma Stone Her Thakoon two-piece is inching very, very close to being a skirt and a sports bra. Luckily, it toes the line neatly and somehow manages not to fall over it. Be careful, Stone. You won't always be this lucky.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Worst Potluck: Shailene Woodley We know that Shailene has a predilection for foraging for her own medicinal herbs and whatnot — seriously — but t...
Worst Potluck: Shailene Woodley We know that Shailene has a predilection for foraging for her own medicinal herbs and whatnot — seriously — but this Rodarte looks like the result of a spelunking session in the dumpster behind JoAnn's Fabrics. Not everything need be recycled, dear girl.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Best Olsen: Ashley We love the vintage Chanel on the more serious Olsen twin; it's ladylike and crisp and very much like what someone would ...
Best Olsen: Ashley We love the vintage Chanel on the more serious Olsen twin; it's ladylike and crisp and very much like what someone would make if the theme in 40 years is "Kate Middleton: A Life." Elizabeth wasn't even close — she might actually be the worst Olsen; except for the shoes, she looks like she's about to start her free skate to the Frozen soundtrack — and it's poor MK's misfortune to land somewhere in the middle, looking ... you know, fine, but sadly not foine.
Photo: Getty Images
Worst Callback: Naomi Watts Technically this goes to Riccardo Tisci. Beyoncé (and later, at a different event, Ciara) wore a heavy black G...
Worst Callback: Naomi Watts Technically this goes to Riccardo Tisci. Beyoncé (and later, at a different event, Ciara) wore a heavy black Givenchy to the Met Gala two years ago that was quasi-nude and celebratory of groin. Naomi's gown has a similar "made-you-look" feel, strategically molting itself into a glorified toilet-seat cover. Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Best Knowles: Neither Solange, in our opinion, won this battle the last two years in a row, to the point where we're nervous she was told to thro...
Best Knowles: Neither Solange, in our opinion, won this battle the last two years in a row, to the point where we're nervous she was told to throw this one out, with her somewhat depressed hair and orange froof of a frock. But neither did Beyoncé blow our minds. First, Jennifer Lawrence wore a short black veil to this event last year; second, this Givenchy evokes a two-year-old Rihanna gown in texture and several more recent Rihanna gowns in its robelike style. If she really is the Queen Bey, we shouldn't be thinking so hard about why we feel like we've seen it before; that may not be her fault, but it's also enough not to give her a win. Photo: Getty Images
Worst Marchesa:
Katie Holmes The erstwhile Joey Potter looks like a drunken extra in a community theatre production of Kiss Me Kate,&n...
Worst Marchesa:
Katie Holmes The erstwhile Joey Potter looks like a drunken extra in a community theatre production of Kiss Me Kate, about 20 minutes from careening offstage and into the laps of the front row: messy, sweaty, bedraggled, and forgetting her lines.
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Best Marchesa:
Karolina Kurkova If Katie Holmes's dress looks like someone dragged it out of the bottom of the wardrobe mistress's car trun...
Best Marchesa:
Karolina Kurkova If Katie Holmes's dress looks like someone dragged it out of the bottom of the wardrobe mistress's car trunk, Kurkova's doesn't even look as if it were created on the same planet. It's graceful, feminine, exceptional.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Most Surprisingly Charming: Lena Dunham This will probably be controversial, but Lena looks saucy and cheerful in this flowered Giambattista Vall...
Most Surprisingly Charming: Lena Dunham This will probably be controversial, but Lena looks saucy and cheerful in this flowered Giambattista Valli number, which is appropriately non-serious while still being sufficiently fancy. Bonus points for very cute shoes.
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Worst Chloe: Chloe Grace Moretz You might think that means we could've given "Best Chloe" to Sevigny, but her hair alone quashes that i...
Worst Chloe: Chloe Grace Moretz You might think that means we could've given "Best Chloe" to Sevigny, but her hair alone quashes that idea. We just happen to dislike the Sev's outfit a little bit less than the Chanel that the otherwise lovely Moretz wore. It's from that Dallas collection that Karl Lagerfeld did, and we think Dallas — and Dallas, maybe — should sue for libel.
Photo: Getty Images
Worst of the Models: Kate Upton We don't know which cheesy old Western she just fell out of, but we do know that it ended badly for SOMEONE.
Pho...
Worst of the Models: Kate Upton We don't know which cheesy old Western she just fell out of, but we do know that it ended badly for SOMEONE.
Photo: 2014 FilmMagic
Biggest Concussion: Lupita Nyong'o We have read theories that this Prada is meant as a sociopolitical statement on Charles James's era. We've rea...
Biggest Concussion: Lupita Nyong'o We have read theories that this Prada is meant as a sociopolitical statement on Charles James's era. We've read jokes that she was due for a fall and so decided to make it a really big splat. And we've seen people trying to figure out a way to hand her a win for this because, well, she's Lupita, and she is beloved. While she is making this as cheerful a misstep as she can, our initial feeling that it is a misstep still holds. It's costumey, it's unflattering, it's confusing, and it's one hell of a way for Miuccia to repay someone who wore Prada to pick up her Oscar. It's no good.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Flat-Out Batshit Craziest: Sandra Lee The semi–First Lady of New York looks like what you would get if Cinderella and Jiffy Pop had a baby. And w...
Flat-Out Batshit Craziest: Sandra Lee The semi–First Lady of New York looks like what you would get if Cinderella and Jiffy Pop had a baby. And while we're sure she has some kind of cracked-out Semi-Homemade recipe that does involve microwave popcorn, making yourself into a wearable tablescape is never advisable.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Worst Double Act: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka We're confused. Is this the Met Gala, or the Night Circus?
Photo: 2014 FilmMagic
Best Departure From Theme: Andrew Garfield Okay, it's not white tie, but how can you be mad at this? Answer: You cannot.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Most Potential: Kristen Stewart Cut off this Chanel where the feathered skirt ends, and she'd have a kickass outfit for an MTV event. As it stand...
Most Potential: Kristen Stewart Cut off this Chanel where the feathered skirt ends, and she'd have a kickass outfit for an MTV event. As it stands, the tulle drags it all into Been There, Done That, Didn't Want Souvenirs territory.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Best Unexpected Addition: Janelle Monae Monae clearly understands that, when attending a major even like the Met Gala, even a woman with a r...
Best Unexpected Addition: Janelle Monae Monae clearly understands that, when attending a major even like the Met Gala, even a woman with a reliable uniform such as hers — well-tailored black-and-white suiting — needs to mix it up. Thank God she did it with this awesome Tadashi Shoji cape and not, like, a skirt made out of ties.
Photo: 2014 Kevin Mazur
Most Everything: Brie Larson Is it wrong that we simultaneously adore this crazy-ass Prada and think it's hideous? At least two out of ...
Most Everything: Brie Larson Is it wrong that we simultaneously adore this crazy-ass Prada and think it's hideous? At least two out of the four Golden Girls would have cut each other for that sucker, assuming they got past C-3PO's biggest fan first, and we would have bought ringside seats.
Photo: 2014 FilmMagic
Best Floral: Emmy Rossum The Carolina Herrera sported by Rossum managed to be event appropriate, seasonally appropriate, and bang on-th...
Best Floral: Emmy Rossum The Carolina Herrera sported by Rossum managed to be event appropriate, seasonally appropriate, and bang on-theme all at once. Oh, and also? She looked amazing in it. Full marks.
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
Best Hat 2.0: Erykah Badu What else is there to say? She clearly sized up Pharrell's lid and found it wanting. Your move, Arby's.
Photo: 2014 Ge...
Best Hat 2.0: Erykah Badu What else is there to say? She clearly sized up Pharrell's lid and found it wanting. Your move, Arby's.
Photo: 2014 Getty Images
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