22 Ways to Show Sex Without Actually Showing It
Photo: Robert Freeman/Getty Images, Getty Images/iStockphoto, Corbis, Jose Antonio Penas/Getty Images, Shutterstock Mina Chapman/Corbis,
This week the Cut has been diving into hot summer sex more than might be advisable, requiring many sad searches for “sexy” images to accompany our articles. As is often the case when trading in visual shorthand, stock photography proved to be a cesspool of hilarious clichés. We combed through thousands of images to neatly categorize all the ways that stock agencies get around showing anything we might actually consider arousing. Killer sperm? Yes. Women eating stone fruits? Uh-huh. Animals mounting one another? Actually, a few of those are kind of sexy. From disembodied feet at the bottom of a bed to women straddling chessboards, click through our slideshow for the many colorful ways photo services illustrate sex.
Abstract Multicolored Condoms Kind of like candy, but less appetizing.
Photo: TEK IMAGE/Getty Images, Andrew Brookes/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo:...
Abstract Multicolored Condoms Kind of like candy, but less appetizing.
Photo: TEK IMAGE/Getty Images, Andrew Brookes/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: TEK IMAGE/Getty Images, Andrew Brookes/Corbis, Shutterstock
Animals Caught in the Act Sorry, llamas!
Photo: Ammit/Getty Images, Volanthevist/Getty Images, Willie van Schwalkwyk/Getty Images, Daisy Gilardi...
Animals Caught in the Act Sorry, llamas!
Photo: Ammit/Getty Images, Volanthevist/Getty Images, Willie van Schwalkwyk/Getty Images, Daisy Gilardini/Getty Images, Shutterstock Photo: Ammit/Getty Images, Volanthevist/Getty Images, Willie van Schwalkwyk/Getty Images, Daisy Gilardini/Getty Images, Shutterstock
Prehistoric Animals Caught In the Act For all you dinosaur-erotica fans out there.
Photo: Jose Antonio Penas/Corbis
High-Brow Art and Artifacts Stone orgies, totally SFW. Photo: Corbis, Ingo Jezierski/Corbis, Thomas Haupt/Corbis, Getty Images, Lonely Planet/Ge...
High-Brow Art and Artifacts Stone orgies, totally SFW. Photo: Corbis, Ingo Jezierski/Corbis, Thomas Haupt/Corbis, Getty Images, Lonely Planet/Getty Images, Exotica/Getty Images, Shutterstock
CGI Sperm Missiles Coming to a uterus near you.
Photo: Pasieka/Corbis, ThortenSchmitt/Getty Images, Allan Swart/Getty Images, Shutterstock Phot...
CGI Sperm Missiles Coming to a uterus near you.
Photo: Pasieka/Corbis, ThortenSchmitt/Getty Images, Allan Swart/Getty Images, Shutterstock Photo: Pasieka/Corbis, ThortenSchmitt/Getty Images, Allan Swart/Getty Images, Shutterstock
CGI Sperm Missiles, Final Approach Planet Ovum doesn't stand a chance.
Photo: Rodolfo Goulart Sabatino/Getty Images, Shutterstock Photo: Rodolfo...
CGI Sperm Missiles, Final Approach Planet Ovum doesn't stand a chance.
Photo: Rodolfo Goulart Sabatino/Getty Images, Shutterstock Photo: Rodolfo Goulart Sabatino/Getty Images, Shutterstock
Disembodied Legs in Bargain-Basement Heels With better shoes these might have had a chance. Photo: Dennis Galente/Corbis, Yury Maryunin/Getty Im...
Disembodied Legs in Bargain-Basement Heels With better shoes these might have had a chance. Photo: Dennis Galente/Corbis, Yury Maryunin/Getty Images, Shutterstock
Just Feet Poking Out "Let's get it on inside this giant vagina/dryer with our socks on." Photo: Uwe Krejci/Corbis, Roman Maerzinger/Co...
Just Feet Poking Out "Let's get it on inside this giant vagina/dryer with our socks on." Photo: Uwe Krejci/Corbis, Roman Maerzinger/Corbis, David Stoecklein/Getty Images, Ant Strack/Getty Images, Mina Chapman/Corbis, Anthony Redpath/Corbis, Vincent Mo/Corbis
Just Feet Poking Out of Sheets Weirdest when there are three feet in the shot.
Photo: Rana Faure/Corbis, Peter M. Fisher/Corbis, Tom Merton/Corb...
Just Feet Poking Out of Sheets Weirdest when there are three feet in the shot.
Photo: Rana Faure/Corbis, Peter M. Fisher/Corbis, Tom Merton/Corbis, Corbis
Food Couples Snapchat from the farmers' market.
Photo: Shutterstock Photo: Shutterstock
Food Porn Excuse us while we go make a dirty video called Fresh Direct.
Photo: Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: Corbis, Shutterstock
Flower Vaginas Please, just don't. Photo: Andrew Unangst/Corbis, Shutterstock
Banana Oral One of the categories overlapping with "Feminism, According to Stock Photography." So there's that.
Photo: Shuttersto...
Banana Oral One of the categories overlapping with "Feminism, According to Stock Photography." So there's that.
Photo: Shutterstock Photo: Shutterstock
Strawberry Oral Before eating strawberries it is essential to apply red lipstick.
Photo: Cultura/Corbis, Franck Sauvarie/Corbis, Jose Luis Pelae...
Strawberry Oral Before eating strawberries it is essential to apply red lipstick.
Photo: Cultura/Corbis, Franck Sauvarie/Corbis, Jose Luis Pelaez/Corbis, Creasource/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: Cultura/Corbis, Franck Sauvarie/Corbis, Jose Luis Pelaez/Corbis, Creasource/Corbis, Shutterstock
Miscellaneous Fruit Oral We totally eat tomatoes on the vine like that in the summer, too.
Photo: Ocean/Corbis, Colin Anderson/Corbis, Forster &...
Miscellaneous Fruit Oral We totally eat tomatoes on the vine like that in the summer, too.
Photo: Ocean/Corbis, Colin Anderson/Corbis, Forster & Martin/Corbis, Todd Wright/Corbis, Robert Recker/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: Ocean/Corbis, Colin Anderson/Corbis, Forster & Martin/Corbis, Todd Wright/Corbis, Robert Recker/Corbis, Shutterstock
Oral, Sans Fruit Someone else is holding the strawberry off-camera.
Photo: Pinto/Corbis, Robert Freeman/Corbis, Piolka/Corbis, Corbis Photo: Pin...
Oral, Sans Fruit Someone else is holding the strawberry off-camera.
Photo: Pinto/Corbis, Robert Freeman/Corbis, Piolka/Corbis, Corbis Photo: Pinto/Corbis, Robert Freeman/Corbis, Piolka/Corbis, Corbis
Peacocks Alone This one might be the weridest of all.
Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto, Villy Yocheva/Getty Images, Photo: Getty Images/iStockpho...
Peacocks Alone This one might be the weridest of all.
Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto, Villy Yocheva/Getty Images, Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto, Villy Yocheva/Getty Images,
Women At Ease With Snakes "Snakes."
Photo: Jack Hollingsworth/Corbis, Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: Jack Hollingsworth/Corbis, Corbis, S...
Women At Ease With Snakes "Snakes."
Photo: Jack Hollingsworth/Corbis, Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: Jack Hollingsworth/Corbis, Corbis, Shutterstock
Pervy Chess My king will "take" your queen. Photo: Marko Roeper/Getty Images, Shutterstock
Spelling It Out It's elementary.
Photo: 212 Images/Corbis, Lew Robertson/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: 212 Images/Corbis, Lew Robertson/Corbis, Sh...
Spelling It Out It's elementary.
Photo: 212 Images/Corbis, Lew Robertson/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: 212 Images/Corbis, Lew Robertson/Corbis, Shutterstock
Typing It Out A.k.a.: sexting.
Photo: Vstock/Getty Images, Alan Sirulnikoff/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: Vstock/Getty Images, Alan Sirulnikoff/Co...
Typing It Out A.k.a.: sexting.
Photo: Vstock/Getty Images, Alan Sirulnikoff/Corbis, Shutterstock Photo: Vstock/Getty Images, Alan Sirulnikoff/Corbis, Shutterstock
A Walk Into the Sunset And with that, we're calling it a day. Photo: David Nununk/Corbis, Corbis, Shutterstock
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