How to Get Your Butt As Shiny As Kim’s
As Kim Kardashian’s Paper magazine cover made its rounds online today, a question of enormous proportions erupted in its wake: How does her butt shine so brightly? How does it glint, not unlike a pair of jelly doughnuts, so blindingly?
The Cut investigated the mysterious luminosity of Kim’s infamous backside and found 11 oils that are sure to replicate her shining derriere for anyone who also boldly dares to break the internet.
For the butt that needs to chill out: Aromatherapy Associates De-Stress Massage & Body Oil The soothing scent of lavender in this oil si...
For the butt that needs to chill out: Aromatherapy Associates De-Stress Massage & Body Oil The soothing scent of lavender in this oil simultaneously highlights the derriere with glistening gusto while calming the senses. With the addition of ginger, which is said to warm the skin, a steaming yet chill butt is just an oil-pat away.
Photo: Courtesy of Aromatherapy Associates
For the butt that needs to wake up: Dr. Hauschka Lemon Lemongrass Vitalizing Body Oil One can imagine that Kim Kardashian’s backside grows tired,...
For the butt that needs to wake up: Dr. Hauschka Lemon Lemongrass Vitalizing Body Oil One can imagine that Kim Kardashian’s backside grows tired, now and again, what with the inordinate amount of entertainment it so graciously provides. For a tired yet shiny butt like hers, there’s Dr. Hauschka’s Vitalizing Body Oil — an ambitious blend of bright lemons and lemongrass that keeps tired cheeks perky.
For the natural butt: Ahava Dry Oil Body Mist In a world where the authenticity of every enormous behind is subject to peer review, it’s ref...
For the natural butt: Ahava Dry Oil Body Mist In a world where the authenticity of every enormous behind is subject to peer review, it’s refreshing to find an option that embraces the nature-given elements of luminous butt excellence. Ahava’s Dry Oil Body Mist is fueled by Dead Sea minerals that are formulated to hydrate skin. A light fragrance reminiscent of a summer’s breeze, the oil is light on the nose but heavy in ass illumination.
Photo: Courtesy of Ahava
For the oenophile butt: Caudalie Divine Oil Inspired by the healing properties of the grape, Caudalie’s Divine Oil capitalizes on grapeseed ...
For the oenophile butt: Caudalie Divine Oil Inspired by the healing properties of the grape, Caudalie’s Divine Oil capitalizes on grapeseed oil, and its ability to moisturize and smooth dry, dull skin. A clinical trial points to results that state participants experienced 70 percent greater moisturization after one hour, which means that a shiny butt is merely 60 minutes away.
For the vacationing butt: Tom Ford Neroli Portofino Body Oil An apropos selection for the woman who married in Italy, Tom Ford’s Neroli Port...
For the vacationing butt: Tom Ford Neroli Portofino Body Oil An apropos selection for the woman who married in Italy, Tom Ford’s Neroli Portofino Body Oil is an ode to a silky backside that appreciates the whiff of citrus, and airy, woody notes. The olive- and grapeseed-oil blend glides over skin with authoritative ease, illuminating the butt in its curvaceous glory.
Photo: Courtesy of Tom Ford
For the sophisticated butt: Rodin Olio Lusso Rodin tops its famed oil blend at seven different oils, which obviously means that your butt ha...
For the sophisticated butt: Rodin Olio Lusso Rodin tops its famed oil blend at seven different oils, which obviously means that your butt has seven chances to achieve maximum shine.
Photo: Courtesy of Rodin
For the extravagant butt: Sisley Black Rose Precious Face Oil Yes, Sisley’s cult favorite is intended for the face, but don’t let nagging la...
For the extravagant butt: Sisley Black Rose Precious Face Oil Yes, Sisley’s cult favorite is intended for the face, but don’t let nagging labels stand as a barrier between you and a great, cover-ready butt. Rich in a cocktail of oils and omegas 3 and 6, it’s the indulgent solution for a radiant behind.
Photo: Courtesy of Sisley
For the economical butt: Neutrogena Body Oil Its toasted-almond scent may remind you of delicious baked buns, but don’t let that be the only...
For the economical butt: Neutrogena Body Oil Its toasted-almond scent may remind you of delicious baked buns, but don’t let that be the only reason to give this perennial favorite a whirl for bright ass. It hydrates skin like a thick cream — perfect for those who want to highlight their gluteus maximus with a minimus number of coins.
Photo: Courtesy of Neutrogena
For the old-fashioned butt: Johnson’s Baby Oil Simple, affordable, and packing one of the most recognizable scents in beauty, Johnson’s Baby...
For the old-fashioned butt: Johnson’s Baby Oil Simple, affordable, and packing one of the most recognizable scents in beauty, Johnson’s Baby Oil is the necessary choice for an old-school butt that shines. Just be careful, as this oil tends to be slipperier than most.
Photo: Courtesy of Johnson’s
For the gilded butt: African Botanics Marula Shimmering Gold Oil Some butts require a bit of makeup trickery to look glazed and triumphantly brig...
For the gilded butt: African Botanics Marula Shimmering Gold Oil Some butts require a bit of makeup trickery to look glazed and triumphantly bright. African Botanics’ Marula Shimmering Gold Oil is the logical solution, as bits of crushed mica and gold mother of pearl transform the oil into a bronze, slightly heavier moisturizing emulsion. It smells like gummy bears, too, which isn’t the worst way one’s butt could smell.
Photo: Courtesy of African Botanics
For the butt that prefers a spray: Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse Nuxe’s Hulie Prodigieuse is lauded for its six precious oils and the fact that it’...
For the butt that prefers a spray: Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse Nuxe’s Hulie Prodigieuse is lauded for its six precious oils and the fact that it’s multipurpose (it’s a face, body, and hair oil), but there’s an unspoken magic that happens when an oil meets a spray nozzler. The spray makes it easier to reach areas where the sun doesn’t shine. And since the goal it to make that area shine the most, Huile Prodigieuse is a glimmering hero.
Photo: Courtesy of Nuxe
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