If you found yourself subconsciously humming or trying to sing the words to “Too Many Cooks†this weekend, we don’t blame you. There’s no escaping the subliminal, hypnotic powers of the Adult Swim parody, which veteran scribe and producer Casper Kelly (Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell) unleashed on innocent TV watchers last Friday. Kelly penned the lyrics to the repetitive, cornball-but-catchy song featured in the video, and Shawn Coleman and Michael Kohler scored it. We’ve written out the lyrics below in full so you can succumb to their dark powers and properly sing along. (If you want to overachieve, we’ve also included the few instances of actual character dialogue.) There are a few voices on the track, but we figured you’d want to do it as a duet, so click play, grab a friend, and have at it.
Man: It takes a lot to make a stew
Woman: A pinch of salt and laughter, too
M: A scoop of kids to add the spice
W: A dash of love to make it nice, and you’ve got
Both: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many
W: It takes a lot to make a stew
M: When it comes to me and you
W: And him and her and the baby, too
B: Too many Cooks, it’s true
M: The saying goes, it’ll spoil the broth
W: Honey, I think that’s not true
M: Well, maybe too many Cooks will spoil the broth, but they’ll fill our hearts with
B: So much, so much lo-o-ove
Too many Cooks
M: A family is like a soup
W: Everyone adds an extra scoop
M: Mix an ounce of smile so sweet
W: A dash of cool to add the heat, and you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many
It takes a lot to make a stew
W: Especially when it’s me and you
M: And him and Steve from corporate, too
B: Too many Cooks, it’s true
M: The saying goes it’ll spoil the broth
W: Honey, I think that’s not true
M: Well, maybe too many Cooks will spoil the broth, but they’ll fill our hearts with so much, so much lo-o-ove
W: So much lo-o-ove
M: They’ll fill our hearts with lo-o-ove
W: Fill our hearts with lo-o-ove
B: Too many Co-o-oks
Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Takes a lot to make a stew, I couldn’t face these streets without you
W: A dash of crime to add some spice
M: This city’s like a pressure cooker turned up to high
[Hushed] Too many Cooks, too many Co-o-oks
Some people say it’ll spoil the broth, but that’s not the American way
Too many Cooks
Too many Cooks will serve a helping of freedom and resist the forces of evil
W: [Operatic] Too many Cooks
M: It takes a lot to make a stew
W: A pinch of salt and laughter too
M: A scoop of kids to add the spice
W: A dash of love to make it nice, and you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many—
M: Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many
M: It takes a lot to make a stew, especially when it’s me and you
W: And him and her and the baby, too
B: Too many Cooks, it’s true
Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
[Woman screams]
M: Too many
It takes a lot to make a stew, a pinch of salt and laughter, too. [Man screams] A scoop of kids to add the spice, a dash of love to make it nice, and you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many
It takes a lot to make a stew, when it’s made of me and you, and him and her and the baby, too, too many Cooks, it’s true
Narrator: This is the story of COOKS — Cybernetic Operational Optimized Knights of Science — defending humanity against Beast Rebels of the Hellscape. When it comes to the future, you can never have too many COOKS.
M: [Robotic] Too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks
Patient: You can’t talk that way. That’s your sister. That’s a fine how-do-you-do. Laugh track. Oh, look at the neighbors. They’re not gonna fit in here. Ha. Ha.
Male doctor: This is the worst case of intronitis I’ve ever seen. You can even hear the theme music.
Female doctor: And the thing is, we have no idea how contagious this strain is. Now, look …
W: A pinch of salt and laughter, too.
MD: No.
M: A scoop of kids to add the spice.
W: A dash of love to make it nice.
MD: Kill me.
W: And you’ve got
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
MD: KILL ME!
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
W: To make a stew
M: Especially when it’s me and you
W: Fill our hearts with so much love
B: Too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks
[Woman screams]
M: It takes a lot to make a stew
B: Too many Cooks
M: Especially when it’s me and you
[More screaming.]
B: Too many Cooks
W: Him and her and the baby, too
Too many Cooks, it’s—
M: [Subdued] It takes a lot to make a stew, especially when it’s me and you.
[More screaming in the background]
M: Too many Cooks, too many Cooks, too many Cooks
Too many Cooks will spoil the broth, but they’ll fill our hearts with so much, so much lo-o-ove
W: So much lo-o-ove
M: Fill our hearts with lo-o-ove
B: Too many Cooks
Too many Cooks
Too many Cooks
M: Fill our hearts with lo-o-ove
[Laughter]
Dad: Honey, I’m h—
B: Too many Cooks
W: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: Too many Cooks
B: Too many Cooks
M: It takes a—