You Realized Matthew McConaughey Won His Oscar Before He Did

Last year at the Oscars, when it was announced he won, Matthew McConaughey froze, seemingly trapped in a flat time-circle. He just titled his head back while everyone applauded around him. The assumption was that he was calling to the spirits of time and space, asking them for a perfectly Matthew McConaughey speech, but last night on The Tonight Show, he explained what really happened. He didn’t know he won and had to use his miniseries detective skills to deduce what happened. He thought, Man, I really need a six-pack of Lone Star and 1 million cigarettes right now. That would be pretty, pretty nice. Yeah, I should call up Woody and see what he’s getting into, tell him to buy — buy — buy — buyers — oh, shit, I won an Oscar. Whoa. Be right back, brain, got to go inspire some people. Alright, alright, alright. Love you. Back actcha, brother.�