This Is How We’re Blowing $1.5 Billion
Did you hear that you might be a billionaire tonight thanks to the Powerball jackpot, which is valued at $1.5 billion? So what if you’re more likely to be struck by lightning and give birth to Terry Richardson’s twins at the same time? Obviously, we have the winning ticket at the Cut, and since we have a proven track record of being super-responsible with our finances, we’re going to spend it wisely. We’ll set up a trust, get ourselves some low-risk, high-yield investments … HAHA. Just kidding. We’re going to buy a ton of Hermès and diamonds. Oh, and the Rock.
Click through the slideshow to see how we’ll spend our money — well, some of it. (Even with taxes, we’ll still have approximately $500 million left over for a rainy day.) Nice knowing you, peasants.
Victory Jewelry: $22,000 Let's celebrate winning with subtle diamonds. We'll get a matching set for everyone on the team!
Sensible Real-Estate Investments: $34.1 million
Real estate is a wise investment, so we'll buy the Bob and Dolores Hope Estate ...
Sensible Real-Estate Investments: $34.1 million
Real estate is a wise investment, so we'll buy the Bob and Dolores Hope Estate in Palm Springs in order to get Louis Vuitton to restage its resort 2016 runway show. Let's also throw in Boone Hall Plantation, a.k.a. the house from The Notebook. Throw in the house where The Big Chill was filmed, and the Cut has enough homes to indulge our every pop-culture whim.
Carry Me Around Shoes: $4,675 If Candice Swanepoel fell face-first wearing the heels at Givenchy, then senior market editor Diana Tsui has n...
Carry Me Around Shoes: $4,675 If Candice Swanepoel fell face-first wearing the heels at Givenchy, then senior market editor Diana Tsui has no chance of making it more than two steps in them. Not that it matters because she'll hire a manservant to carry her everywhere like Ariana Grande does.
A Sensible Gym Bag: $135,500 Because Diana fears her muscles will atrophy from being carried everywhere, she's going to meet her friends for work...
A Sensible Gym Bag: $135,500 Because Diana fears her muscles will atrophy from being carried everywhere, she's going to meet her friends for workouts (personal trainers are too boring). A crocodile Birkin will serve as the perfect sweaty gym bag.
A Christopher Kane Wardobe: $76,535 To get a jump start on her new head-to-toe Christopher Kane wardrobe, producer Leah Rodriguez will buy every ...
A Christopher Kane Wardobe: $76,535 To get a jump start on her new head-to-toe Christopher Kane wardrobe, producer Leah Rodriguez will buy every single item by the designer on Net-a-Porter. It's called starting an archive, people.
A Low-Key Gown for Housewarming Parties: $210 Million After health editor Susan Rinkunas buys the Playboy Mansion for $200 million and razes...
A Low-Key Gown for Housewarming Parties: $210 Million After health editor Susan Rinkunas buys the Playboy Mansion for $200 million and razes it to the ground, she'll need to spend another $10 million to renovate. On top of that, she needs a new housedress to greet her guests. This one is totally casual if you're barefoot.
Emeralds to Match Her Eyes: $1,655,350 Makeup? Please, the green in these gems will do a far better job of making Susan's eyes pop.
Seasonally Inappropriate Clothing: $12,421 Much like Keri Russell blatantly defying winter in sandals, senior beauty editor Kathleen Hou will use...
Seasonally Inappropriate Clothing: $12,421 Much like Keri Russell blatantly defying winter in sandals, senior beauty editor Kathleen Hou will use her winnings to thwart the laws of nature. Her life will be so climate-controlled that she'll be able to wear sandals and sundresses in February and fur in August. Hey, she's just buying what's sold in stores at the time, okay?
Hamilton: Approximately $1.5 Million The Richard Rodgers Theatre seats 1,319, so at $379 face value for an orchestra ticket, let's just say it's ...
Hamilton: Approximately $1.5 Million The Richard Rodgers Theatre seats 1,319, so at $379 face value for an orchestra ticket, let's just say it's a half-million to buy it out for an intimate friends-and-family show. On top of that, senior editor Izzy Grinspan would also like Lin-Manuel Miranda to write a rap musical about her, so she'll throw in another million to sweeten the deal.
Photo: Joan Marcus
Wine-Night Coats: $35,000 What's the point of a $30,000 white fur coat? Style director Rebecca Ramsey plans to drink red wine while lounging in i...
Wine-Night Coats: $35,000 What's the point of a $30,000 white fur coat? Style director Rebecca Ramsey plans to drink red wine while lounging in it. Should a droplet stain the fur, that's fine. She'll just move on to the cashmere trench.
Louis Vuitton Suitcases: $8,950 Plastic bins from the Container Store are so plebian. Rebecca will store all of her off-season clothes under her ...
Louis Vuitton Suitcases: $8,950 Plastic bins from the Container Store are so plebian. Rebecca will store all of her off-season clothes under her bed in these Louis Vuitton suitcases.
Casual, Everyday Tee: $3,885 Because you can never have too many good basics, Rebecca has decided to ditch all of her T-shirts for sequin Lanvin ...
Casual, Everyday Tee: $3,885 Because you can never have too many good basics, Rebecca has decided to ditch all of her T-shirts for sequin Lanvin ones.
A Goop-Worthy Kitchen: Approximately $100,000 Photo editor Emily Shornick and associate beauty editor Ashley Weatherford have decided that t...
A Goop-Worthy Kitchen: Approximately $100,000 Photo editor Emily Shornick and associate beauty editor Ashley Weatherford have decided that their new homes need kitchens worthy of Gwyneth Paltrow. The big ranges start at $47,500, not including add-ons. But what's an extra $10,000 to build your own rotisserie?
Fancy Cookware: $1,299.95 You can't have a copper-filled kitchen and not buy the pots to match. Who cares if the pots are a pain to clean when yo...
Fancy Cookware: $1,299.95 You can't have a copper-filled kitchen and not buy the pots to match. Who cares if the pots are a pain to clean when you burn something? Throw 'em out and get a new set.
A Water-Purification System: $245,000 If diamond water is better for you than plain water, then water purified by 10-carat diamond earr...
A Water-Purification System: $245,000 If diamond water is better for you than plain water, then water purified by 10-carat diamond earrings has to make your skin glow like J.Lo's engagement rings. Naturally, Ashley, better known as "Mother of Light," will be solely drinking this from now on.
Oreos: $20 Million Since the CEO of Oreos was paid $10 million back in 2012, associate market editor Lindsay Peoples will offer him $20 mill...
Oreos: $20 Million Since the CEO of Oreos was paid $10 million back in 2012, associate market editor Lindsay Peoples will offer him $20 million to take over his role. She won't actually do any work; she just wants the extra income, plus a lifetime supply of snacks.
A Personal Céline Store: $50 Million Céline was worth approximately €172.2 million in 2012. Lindsay will offer them $50 millio...
A Personal Céline Store: $50 Million Céline was worth approximately €172.2 million in 2012. Lindsay will offer them $50 million for unlimited access to their store. Bragging rights and free clothes for all her co-workers!
A Commemorative Ring: $182,000 Senior writer Jessica Roy plans to turn the entirety of New Jersey into a cat sanctuary. And to remind herself abo...
A Commemorative Ring: $182,000 Senior writer Jessica Roy plans to turn the entirety of New Jersey into a cat sanctuary. And to remind herself about what a great humanitarian she is, she'll throw in this Cartier panther ring, too.
Caftans Galore: $20,985 Senior writer Allison Davis has never met a caftan she didn't love, but it's time to get serious. When you're a billionai...
Caftans Galore: $20,985 Senior writer Allison Davis has never met a caftan she didn't love, but it's time to get serious. When you're a billionaire, wearing Valentino, Gucci, and Chloé is totally the same as shopping at Zara, right?
Mood Lighting: $160,000 To go with Allison's closet full of glamorous caftans, she wants a home filled with luxurious yet cozy décor. Thes...
Mood Lighting: $160,000 To go with Allison's closet full of glamorous caftans, she wants a home filled with luxurious yet cozy décor. These Art Deco lamps will set the mood in her walk-in closet and bathe her in the most flattering light possible.
The Rock: $125 million Can you really put a price on someone so full of heart? No, you cannot. But writer Dayna Evans estimated his net worth and...
The Rock: $125 million Can you really put a price on someone so full of heart? No, you cannot. But writer Dayna Evans estimated his net worth and plans to buy him anyway.
Photo: Jesse Grant/2015 Getty Images
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