President Donald Trump held a lengthy, impromptu press conference yesterday morning, giving the nation’s late-night hosts precious little time to come up with an angle or approach or really just words to convey their feelings about a truly fascinating spectacle. However, unlike you, America’s hosts can’t just sit silently, dumbfounded, for a whole hour, so here are some of late night’s very best lines on that instantly infamous press conference.
Seth Meyers: “What president hasn’t had to say, ‘I’m not ranting and raving’? Who doesn’t remember Lincoln’s tirade at Gettysburg or FDR’s fireside meltdowns? And of course, Reagan famously saying, ‘Mr. Gorbachev, if you don’t tear down this fucking wall, I’m gonna lose my shit?’â€
Trevor Noah: “If you can’t trust your president to get the right information on a Google-able fact, then can you really trust him with the harder stuff? Which, by the way, is everything else the president of the United States has to deal with.â€
James Corden, discussing Trump’s claims of a historic Electoral College win, a falsehood Trump defended by claiming he’s “seen that information aroundâ€: “Around? He saw this information around? What, like it was tacked to a bulletin board next to guitar lessons and a picture of a lost cat? ‘Biggest election ever? Wow. Amazing.’â€
Jimmy Kimmel: “The tone of the press conference was like if your dad found a pack of cigarettes under your mattress.â€
Stephen Colbert: “How presidential. It reminds me of Harry Truman, who so famously said, ‘Look, I don’t know where it’s supposed to stop. I was given that buck.’â€
Jimmy Fallon: “President Trump’s press conference today lasted an hour and 15 minutes, though an hour of that was just scanning for a reporter who wouldn’t ask a tough question. ‘Yes, the gentleman from Highlights Magazine. Not Goofus, Gallant.’â€
Fallon’s Trump: “Thank me. Thank me, and buckle up, because this is gonna be a crazy one. Daddy came to play.â€
In case you missed it, here are the wildest moments from the press conference: