Despite overwhelming criticism, the FCC voted to repeal net-neutrality rules Thursday, blocking free and open access to the internet. FCC chairman Ajit Pai has been in late night’s crosshairs before — “The dangerous thing about Pai is that he presents himself as a fun, down-to-earth nerd,†John Oliver observed in May — but on Thursday night, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Kimmel all aired segments slamming the FCC’s vote. Seth began by pointing out a phrase Pai uses far too often: “light-tough regulation.†“Please stop using the phrase ‘light touch,’†Seth said. “You sound like someone defending yourself to HR.â€
Kimmel began his segment by saying “The FCC did something absolutely despicable today.†He pushed viewers to sign up for health insurance before healthcare.gov’s deadline, because “once net neutrality is gone, we might not even have WebMD anymore.â€
The Late Show crowd booed when Colbert brought up the FCC’s boneheaded vote. “The only thing that should slow your internet speed is the number of people also sitting in Starbucks working on their screenplays.†(Your Final Draft software, with a first draft of that coming-of-age story you’ve been toying with, just chuckled.)
RIP, internet. We can’t wait to bootleg you, too