Steve Martin’s Roger Stone Is One Normal and Straightforward Guy, No Other Adjectives Necessary

How nice of Roger Stone, a feeble 66 year-old who barely has time to work on his jacked torso à la Sting anymore, to stop by Tucker Carlson’s show and defend his honor in front of his loyal legion of Fox News fans. His home was raided, he has some felonies to his name, he maybe dabbles in mob threats! And his arrest was so harrowing on his psyche, in fact, that Stone (Steve Martin) could only do, like, a dozen interviews after posting bail. “Honestly, I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life,� he insists to Carlson’s dog-looking-into-mirror-face. “Seven felonies, I can’t even count that high, how cool is that!� Now, if only President Trump will listen to his maniac pleas and pardon him: “What a fun couple of days, I’m loving the ride, go Nixon!�