Roses are red. Violets are blue. Kenny G, what the fuck, is that you? If you are Kim Kardashian West at home in Calabasas right this second, then, yes, indeed, it is. Do be alarmed. He has been sent there to serenade you against your will by your husband, Kanye, in an all-white room that has now been transformed into an impossible maze of single-stem rose vases in what is now the seventh portal to hell. Happy Valentine’s Day! Truly, Kanye hired human meme and perpetual lounge singer for hire Kenny G to perform covers for his wife on this day of love and lunacy. And by “hire,†we mean held hostage in a romantic mouse trap. How the hell is Kenny G going to escape that room without breaking a dozen vases along the way and inevitably stabbing his foot on shards of glass? Is he just doomed to play on demand for all eternity at Kanye’s whim? Is Kenny G okay?????
Fortunately, from this second angle, it appears Kenny G does have a clear exit path and can leave of his own volition. But you just blink twice, sir, and we’ll send backup! Same for you, assistant who’s definitely not getting paid enough to perfectly stage and then have to clean up this mess. You’re both in our thoughts.