Endgame isn’t just part of the title of the latest Avengers film; it also describes the state of your bladder if you fail to take the necessary precautions for the film’s gargantuan 182-minute runtime. Luckily, while some of those nine-score minutes are packed with whizbang action and tearjerking moments a decade in the making, others are … less integral and can be safely skipped without missing too much. Here, by the power vested in us by the gigantic iced coffee that one of us drank before the screening, a guide to when you should take your bathroom breaks in Endgame.
Bathroom Break Option No. 1
If you were too stressed over finding a seat to go before the projector started rolling, have no fear. About 15 minutes into the movie, Thor makes a big decision, and then there’s a title card with some onscreen text. (You’ll know it when you see it.) When that text pops up, you can head out: You won’t see the cameo from director Joe Russo, but that’s about it. And, as a bonus, everyone else in the theater will probably be glued to their seats, so you’ll have the loo to yourself!
Bathroom Break Option No. 2
Later, we cut to San Francisco so we can figure out how Ant-Man will enter the picture. If you’ve seen the trailer, you already know that Ant-Man will enter the picture, and if you don’t care too much about the precise hows and whys, make like an insect and fly away.
Bathroom Break Option No. 3
Endgame spends much of its first act getting the gang back together. You’ll probably care about what Tony Stark’s up to, but you can get the gist of the Hulk’s new deal pretty quickly, and his scene kind of drags. You can walk out once you see him in a diner, and the only thing you’ll miss is a reference to a trend that peaked in 2015.
Bathroom Break Option No. 4
Speaking of the Avengers reassembling, about 45 minutes in, the film decides to juice things up with a little trip to Tokyo. It’s all very Kill Bill, but the scene contains some of the movie’s most obligatory plotting: If you’ve seen the trailer, you know that the gang does indeed get back together.
Bathroom Break Option No. 5
Act II sees our heroes splitting off into groups to accomplish their goals. You have two options: Leave when Nebula and War Machine land on an alien planet, and all you’ll miss is a fun nod to Guardians of the Galaxy. Option two: Duck out when Hawkeye and Black Widow get to where they’re going. It takes them a while to figure out what they need to do to, and unless you’re dealing with major intestinal issues, you should be back by the time this sequence reaches its climax.
Bathroom Break Option No. 6
So, you’ve made it through the length of a normal superhero movie, but there’s still plenty of Endgame to go, and you’re dying. When’s the right time to take a bathroom break without missing the action-packed superhero team-up you’ve been waiting 11 years for? Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s a time that includes Hawkeye: When he starts battling a set of terrifying bulldog aliens, you can make one last run without missing the real show-stopping sequences to follow.
Bathroom Break Option No. 7
If you’re reading posts about when to go to the bathroom during Endgame, you probably already know that there are no post-credits sequences. However, the other people in your theater might not know that. You’ll still want to stick around for the main credits because they are wild — seriously, they are the Pet Sounds of end credits — but once you start to see the names of unit-production managers, etc., take advantage of everyone else’s hesitation and run up that aisle!